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Old 09-21-2017, 12:36 AM
 
1,409 posts, read 1,148,604 times
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Last year I started therapy with a psychologist thinking I guess their higher doctorate degree meant she knew what she was doing. I got hung up on her title instead of just focusing on what she actually did and didn't do in therapy. Just a few examples-- and I don't know why I didn't determine some before or after starting therapy with her. For example she never did lay out any type of plan or goals for our time in therapy- also she knew I was in a dv relationship and I assumed she must know a good deal about that but she made inappropriate comments about dv such as either being dismissive or minimizing. She tended at times to be very judgmental and parental (I feel frustrated that you haven't left him yet) rather than as a therapist exploring with what is known about dv on what was the harder parts of that, how did I feel about it and did I even wa t to leave. Therapy is not a parent child relationship. Anyways for our time together she never had any definitive guiding point- I would go in and she would make chit chat. When my bf was arrested for dv, she spent almost 20 minutes out of a 45 minute session talking about how she was worried if she were to be subpoenaed by the d.a. then who would pay her-- she then said she might have to charge me.. almost half my session she spent talking about her worry on who would pay her if she was subpoenaed as a witness. I mentioned it to the dv support group case manager who had their legal dept call me and stated she should know that victims do not pay witnesses in a criminal hearing if they're subpoenaed and how it was disturbing that she would make money the focus of the time in my session with her. She even said it sounds like it could be enough to file a complaint against her. I know this sounds like wth was I thinking. At least in large part I somehow got hung up on that she was a psychologist so I thought she must know a lot more than a therapist or social worker. I won't do that again- nice to have extra education however if in reality they run their sessions like that it's more valuable to have a therapist with less formal education who knows what they're doing
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:38 AM
 
6,278 posts, read 4,154,055 times
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There are good psychologists/therapists and bad one's, but sometimes people forget to interview them to see if they are suitable (Freudian or Jungian trained) ,what type of therapy approaches such as cognitive or talk, what do they specialize in. if a patient just needs to vent or need specific strategies in between appointments they need to state this at the initial consult.
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Old 09-21-2017, 08:15 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,295,877 times
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Given my mother was a mental health professional, I am suspicious of their motivations for getting into that field, even though I am a big believer in therapy. I checked out reviews of my therapist online before selecting her and my life coach reviewed her credentials/experience/reviews as well as she has many clients who are also in therapy and is also a big believer in it herself. I stayed alert for any sign of excessive intrusiveness or manipulation during my first few sessions and saw only professionalism.

Credentials don't mean much. It's how they're put to use that matters. My mother's therapist (who was also mine for a time) was a disaster - no understanding of professional boundaries. But that was exactly what my mother wanted.
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Old 09-21-2017, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,671,004 times
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So ... have you discontinued therapy with her?

And have you found a new suitable therapist???
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Old 09-21-2017, 02:01 PM
 
2,762 posts, read 3,170,814 times
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Most are terrible. Move on to another. You will find someone you click with that really knows how to help you.
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Old 09-21-2017, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Phila
518 posts, read 1,049,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Credentials don't mean much. It's how they're put to use that matters.
That goes for anyone. Doctors, dentists, lawyers, and any other profession that has letters in after it. I've fired Dr's before for showing incompetence or lack of concern/knowledge.
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Old 09-22-2017, 10:53 AM
 
6,278 posts, read 4,154,055 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisertime View Post
That goes for anyone. Doctors, dentists, lawyers, and any other profession that has letters in after it. I've fired Dr's before for showing incompetence or lack of concern/knowledge.

I agree. I interviewed 3 qualified obgyn's before I committed to one and fired a dentist a few years ago.
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Old 09-22-2017, 01:14 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,086 posts, read 107,163,173 times
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OP, there's a huge learning curve involved with finding a good therapist. Some amount of trial and error is probably inevitable. You can eliminate some of the "error" in the trial-and-error by doing some research: check their websites, check reviews, see what their websites say about training, experience, their approach to therapy, types of issues they specialize in, etc. Then you can pick 2 or 3 that sound potentially good, and call them, to ask questions, and to interview them about their practice. But some of this presupposes that you actually have an idea of what therapy styles and techniques and specialties there are out there, and which one/s would best suit your issues. That's not terribly realistic for someone exploring the therapy world for the first time.

And then, also, if you do find someone whose description of their practice hits home with you, you still don't know how they are personality-wise. If a therapist hasn't dealt with, and resolved, their own personal issues, that can get in the way of therapy. So there are many potential pitfalls and issues to navigate, as you look for a good therapist. Please don't give up, though; there really are some good ones out there.

And btw, I totally understand what you're saying, about how you put complete trust in her, because of her qualifications, her advanced studies, and all that. I think it's probably a common mistake. You think, like you're going to the doctor, and the doc will examine you, and make a diagnosis, and then there will be a treatment plan based on the diagnosis. But that doesn't happen with a lot of therapists. In fact, it seems that quite a few therapists aren't able to diagnose. And some, especially the ones who only make chit-chat, are in the business more to help people manage their day-to-day life, rather than do in-depth analysis, healing childhood issues, helping people understand themselves and what motivates them, etc.

I think, if within a few sessions, you don't feel like what the therapist is saying doesn't resonate with you, and they're not giving you helpful, informative feedback that helps you understand yourself, it's probably time to move on and look for another therapist.

Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-22-2017 at 01:26 PM..
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Old 09-22-2017, 01:24 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,086 posts, read 107,163,173 times
Reputation: 115885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wisertime View Post
That goes for anyone. Doctors, dentists, lawyers, and any other profession that has letters in after it. I've fired Dr's before for showing incompetence or lack of concern/knowledge.
Most doctors don't notice if their steady patients, or even fairly new patients, disappear on them. By "firing", do you mean actually telling them "YOU'RE FIRED"? lol It can be just as hard to find a good doctor as it is to find a good therapist.

I actually did officially fire a long-standing primary care doc, once. I told him I was switching to a different clinic, different doc. It was weird, because for YEARS afterwards, his staff would call me, and tell me I was due for an annual check-up, or I was overdue for a certain test, and once, he called me himself, to yell at me for not coming in for so long!!! What part of "I've moved on to a different doctor" don't you understand?! Kinda creepy.
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