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It sounds more like entitlement than narcissism. I was invited to a baby shower for a woman I barely know. And no, I'm not going.
A sense of entitlement, and expecting special treatment is actually exhibiting one of the symptoms of NPD... (and you need to exhibit at least five to meet the official diagnosis.)
She's throwing herself a baby shower?
Is that even legal?
sorry. "legal" was the word that popped into my head for some reason so I went with it.
Anyway, isn't a friend supposed to throw the baby shower FOR you?
That's kind of weird. and 300 people? wowie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
At the very least, throwing your own baby shower qualifies as a personal foul.
I realized this about an hour after I had posted my thoughts.
I was thinking that I, in no way, even before my life was mitigated by caregiving; would even know 100 people to invite to any of my baby showers. Which in turn, made me feel sorry for myself; because I've never had a baby shower.
11 kids, two sets of twins ... not one baby shower. And no, I don't think it "means" anything, really. I'm not an easy one to get close to. I've never seemed to need most people as much as they have needed me & additionally; I started having kids really young.
My peers were planning their prom night vs having the capacity to plan a baby shower. As I got older I tended to have peers from very alternative lifestyles & mainstream "rights of passage" just didn't happen. And I had so many, I think maybe I felt I had something to prove " Yes I CAN do this on my own!" ...
That's when it dawned on me; "Wait ... who throws themselves their own baby shower anyway?" It had never occurred to me to do it for myself. How do you have 300 friends to invite to a baby shower & not have one that has the shower for you?
Narcissists learn what makes people happy, how to be bubbly and well liked, and are the life of a party. It is all fake and most people have NO clue that it's all just a show.
My girlfriend has a daughter that everyone (who doesn't know her sickening secrets) think she's just a wonderful, charming girl. She is very attractive physically and her smile lights up the room. If they only knew...
I've seen the bruises on my girlfriend's face. I've heard about the daughter kicking her pregnant sister in the stomach and saying she wishes the baby would die (thankfully, the baby was fine and is now 4 years old), and I've heard about her throwing her sister's cat across the room. No lie. She is evil IMO.
I'm for sure my friend is a narcissist. She is having a baby shower, she invited 300 people. 300 freaking people. She made a website dedicated to her baby shower. It has three registrars on it and she has also made a calendar of days that people can dedicate their time to coming over and helping with the baby once the baby is here. She also states flights are cheap right now so people should try to fly out for if they can.
IT'S A FREAKING BABY SHOWER! I'm just wondering how so many people can just go along with this. Her guestbook is flooded with comments from people.
I want to know how someone like this has been able to keep a wide variety of friends.
If you dislike her so much, why count yourself among them?
Narcissists (and I have experience with this in my own life) have a facade that can be quite charming. They can be very affirming and encouraging to the right people (usually acquaintances, not family) when they choose to be. They have a gift for making people want to do things for them. If you think about it, most people have challenges and struggles in life and they like to be around those who inspire them and exude an air of confidence. People want someone to look up to. I think of all of the mommy/fashion/lifestyle bloggers out there who have massive followings because they present a carefully edited and crafted persona to their fans. Followers want to know how to "do life" in the best possible way and narcissists know how to capture that desire by seeming so uplifting and assured in their own "wonderfulness". Now once someone gets close enough to a narcissist they'll get sick of their game, but there are always new people around the corner to get sucked in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dumb
My mother was a narcissist. It was appalling to see how many "friends" she attracted, and threw them around like cards. One minute she was having friends over, then suddenly they disappeared forever. One time she got in the news. So glad that they are out of my life.
Well said.
Narcissists may seem charming when you first meet them but they are collecting information
and certain traits such as empathy, a good listener, problem solver, dependability as well as
intelligence as their next victim. https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...ek-in-victims/
IMO, you have a little trouble with reading comprehension. OP said this woman INVITED 300 people, not that they were coming.
But I'm sure that post made you feel superior for a few seconds, so hey, Happy Friday to you!
Apparently, you not only "have a little trouble with reading comprehension" but tend to put your thoughts into other people's mouths. I did not say 300 are coming, it's your fantasy that I said so. I said the OP envies that gal because she dared to invite 300.
Apparently, you not only "have a little trouble with reading comprehension" but tend to put your thoughts into other people's mouths. I did not say 300 are coming, it's your fantasy that I said so. I said the OP envies that gal because she dared to invite 300.
I think this is very true because we have been good friends but once I started noticing something was a bit off and I questioned some of the things she would do, she would somehow turn everything around on me.
This might be helpful in understanding why some narcissists behave the way they do, and the differences between varieties of narcissism:
Narcissists learn what makes people happy, how to be bubbly and well liked, and are the life of a party. It is all fake and most people have NO clue that it's all just a show.
My girlfriend has a daughter that everyone (who doesn't know her sickening secrets) think she's just a wonderful, charming girl. She is very attractive physically and her smile lights up the room. If they only knew...
I've seen the bruises on my girlfriend's face. I've heard about the daughter kicking her pregnant sister in the stomach and saying she wishes the baby would die (thankfully, the baby was fine and is now 4 years old), and I've heard about her throwing her sister's cat across the room. No lie. She is evil IMO.
As soon as I read the original post I thought I bet this woman is very good-looking. Physically beautiful people attract people easily, and the ones on the narcissistic side even more so because it validates their inflated opinion of their importance to others. This need also explains their constant use of mobile phones and social media - they are looking for confirmation of their awesomeness.
Check out any Starbucks drive thru line - how many of the attractive women drivers are not on their phones?
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