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For example a friend of a friend went to a bar, met a guy, went back to his house and drank what he gave her, was then claiming she was assaulted but can’t remember the whole night.
When you know there are horrible sexual predators out there, why would you go to a strangers house and also drink something he gave you, not knowing what’s in it. I would think you would have to claim some responsibility for putting yourself in harms way especially these days when there is so much evil out there.
It’s one think to be jumped when walking to your car and another thing to willing go back to a strangers house.
If a woman is just out of her mind drunk I can't imagine sex would be much fun. Nor can I imagine sex being good if she's passed out comatose. The good thing about sex is the willingness of the other person. I mean which would you wanna go to bed with? A partener who is not only willing to do things but inventive about it and you can see they are having fun while being pleased and doing it and pleasing you back or what amounts to basically a dead body or you're cleaning up vomit and **** because they can't control themselves.
I don't know about you but I prefer my partners to have a " I'm gonna do you so good you're gonna be in a wheelchair for a week by the time I'm done " attitude to sex.
Many men give women drinks in bars. I even know of a woman who met a man for coffee at Starbuck's, he put something in her drink there, then got her into his car and took her to a hotel room. She doesn't remember any of that, past meeting him for coffee. Men who do this are the lowest of low.
TL;DR: woman goes out to dinner with someone she thought was a friend, "friend" spikes her drink while she's in the bathroom. Diners at another table see it, and rescue her from a potential bad situation.
What was this woman supposed to do to take responsibilty to prevent this? Not go out in public with someone she thought she could trust? Take her food and drink with her to the restroom?
TL;DR: woman goes out to dinner with someone she thought was a friend, "friend" spikes her drink while she's in the bathroom. Diners at another table see it, and rescue her from a potential bad situation.
What was this woman supposed to do to take responsibilty to prevent this? Not go out in public with someone she thought she could trust? Take her food and drink with her to the restroom?
Yes. This person was actually my mom and this happened when she was in her 60s. The man who did it was probably in his 40s or 50s. She would never, ever go off alone with someone. She always took separate cars when meeting male friends, she was that careful. But she had no idea someone would try to put a drug in her coffee drink. She didn't even know things that like went on. She also had no interest in dating him, she was just lonely and wanted someone to talk to. So point is, if a person really wants to sexually assault someone, he'll find a way to do it, somehow. No matter how careful the person is, or isn't.
This happened about 15 years ago, I suspect this man is still "at large". Possibly victimizing other women.
Also, a friend of a friend was raped by a doctor who worked at the hospital with her. She was a nurse and her nurse friends actually set her up to be raped by him. They tricked her to get in a car with them; she trusted them, since they were her co-workers. And they drove her by his house and all went in for a social visit, but then her friends left the house really fast, leaving her alone with him. They knew he'd been pursuing her and would probably rape her. And he did. So women can sometimes set other women up to be raped or sexually assaulted.
She shouldn’t be getting incapacitated in the first place. Know your limits and don’t drink anything given to you by someone you don’t know (besides the bartender or waitress).
I believe the legal term for this is "contributory negligence." That is, the act is the fault of the perpetrator, but the victim contributed in some way to making it possible to happen.
If a woman walks down the street wearing revealing clothing, she is NOT asking to be raped -- but she shouldn't be surprised if guys stare at her. If a woman goes to a bar, meets a guy, goes back to his apartment, and drinks something that she didn't see him pour, she is also not asking to be raped -- but she's gone a long way towards making it possible for the man to rape her, if that's his intent.
So yes, in the latter example I would say that the woman bears some responsibility, for putting herself in a position of extreme vulnerability.
I agree with how far you've gone, but HER foolishness does not in any way reduce HIS responsibility.
I don't think anyone here is praising the man's high moral standards. But from the woman's point of view, if she can't remember whether or not she gave consent, then it's his word against hers.
If she can't remember, then she was in no shape to give consent.
You have learned NOTHING, even with multitudes of women coming forward to state any type of sexual abuse in their history.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian75
For example a friend of a friend went to a bar, met a guy, went back to his house and drank what he gave her, was then claiming she was assaulted but can’t remember the whole night.
When you know there are horrible sexual predators out there, why would you go to a strangers house and also drink something he gave you, not knowing what’s in it. I would think you would have to claim some responsibility for putting yourself in harms way especially these days when there is so much evil out there.
It’s one think to be jumped when walking to your car and another thing to willing go back to a strangers house.
The woman in this scenario was drugged. DRUGGED! There are a milllion reasons why she would feel safe enough to enter by his house---for a coffee before hitting the road, or charging her phone, or meeting his roommate or his parents. We don't know what he told her to get her into the house long enough to DRUG her. She may have even been an expert in martial arts and knew he couldn't overpower her.
She felt safe for some reason. But he DRUGGED HER.
How on earth does this make her responsible?
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