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Old 10-17-2017, 01:19 PM
 
13,511 posts, read 19,281,755 times
Reputation: 16580

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyrallnamestaken View Post
And this means men are animals. She's fair game if she comes to my house.
Not true...she's "fair game" if you're an a$$hole and she comes to your house....not all men are a$$holes.
She paid the price for her stupidity didn't she.
It never would have happened if she'd been even a little more cautious with her well being. I'm not saying she deserved it, but she sure set the stage up nice for it.
If anything we can only hope that she's learned that you can't always trust a stranger to do what's right. That's easy to do....just don't go by yourself to some strange guys place by yourself.....and here I thought women already knew that....guess i was wrong.

 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:25 PM
 
6,300 posts, read 4,196,397 times
Reputation: 24791
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Not true...she's "fair game" if you're an a$$hole and she comes to your house....not all men are a$$holes.
She paid the price for her stupidity didn't she.
It never would have happened if she'd been even a little more cautious with her well being. I'm not saying she deserved it, but she sure set the stage up nice for it.
If anything we can only hope that she's learned that you can't always trust a stranger to do what's right. That's easy to do....just don't go by yourself to some strange guys place by yourself.....and here I thought women already knew that....guess i was wrong.

This is just typical victim blaming and nobody male or female should expect be held responsible for the abusive actions of others, least alone as a guest in someone's home. Blame the RAPIST.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Dessert
10,895 posts, read 7,389,984 times
Reputation: 28062
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
When she willingly went to a stranger's house, she consented.
She consented to go to his house, that's all.

And yes, that was stupid. But it's not consent to anything else.

Last edited by steiconi; 10-17-2017 at 01:49 PM..
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:27 PM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,412,920 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Not true...she's "fair game" if you're an a$$hole and she comes to your house....not all men are a$$holes.
She paid the price for her stupidity didn't she.
It never would have happened if she'd been even a little more cautious with her well being. I'm not saying she deserved it, but she sure set the stage up nice for it.
If anything we can only hope that she's learned that you can't always trust a stranger to do what's right. That's easy to do....just don't go by yourself to some strange guys place by yourself.....and here I thought women already knew that....guess i was wrong.
+1

It's a matter of personal responsibility. It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't gone in the first place.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:35 PM
 
6,300 posts, read 4,196,397 times
Reputation: 24791
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Not true...she's "fair game" if you're an a$$hole and she comes to your house....not all men are a$$holes.
She paid the price for her stupidity didn't she.
It never would have happened if she'd been even a little more cautious with her well being. I'm not saying she deserved it, but she sure set the stage up nice for it.
If anything we can only hope that she's learned that you can't always trust a stranger to do what's right. That's easy to do....just don't go by yourself to some strange guys place by yourself.....and here I thought women already knew that....guess i was wrong.

and what if the woman who came to the house was thinking she was there to clean the house, or for a real estate meeting, or to talk business, etc. By the victim blaming logic she is asking for it and "fair game" because she went into a strangers house.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:42 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,025,141 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Not true...she's "fair game" if you're an a$$hole and she comes to your house....not all men are a$$holes.
She paid the price for her stupidity didn't she.
It never would have happened if she'd been even a little more cautious with her well being. I'm not saying she deserved it, but she sure set the stage up nice for it.
If anything we can only hope that she's learned that you can't always trust a stranger to do what's right. That's easy to do....just don't go by yourself to some strange guys place by yourself.....and here I thought women already knew that....guess i was wrong.

I will NOT accept that as a valid argument. Not ever. In THIS culture, you've decided that woman shouldn't have gone to a guy's house by herself. Is that where you draw the line?


Am I allowed to go walking by myself in the evening? Or...is it my fault if something happens to me?


Am I allowed to go to a festival or a concert by myself? What if some drunk accosts me? Is that my fault?


Am I allowed to go to a laundry mat by myself, at night?


I'm traveling for work. At the end of a long conference, I decided to have a drink in the hotel bar. Someone puts a mickey in my drink...was I wrong to go to the bar by myself?


Let's say, you, the man, goes to the hotel bar, and a gorgeous babe, way out of your league, starts talking to you, and the next thing you know, you wake up in a bathtub, surrounded by ice, and your kidney missing. Should you have known better?


ANYTIME anyone says "She should've known better" that's blaming her for her assault.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Westwood, MA
5,037 posts, read 6,923,971 times
Reputation: 5961
There's a pretty clear line where women should start taking responsibility for assault situations: when women are committing the assault.

For assaults where women are the victim, though, what does it even mean for them to take responsibility? Is there some sort of responsibility pool where we all sit around and decide how bad she should feel about being a victim? I'm pretty sure any woman who has been the victim of an assault has already suffered some pretty severe consequences. It's not like we have some magical machine that can make assaults un-happen but have only so many goes so we have to be really careful about who gets to use it. Are you asking if there is some level of transparently awful male behavior that somehow becomes a defense? "Your honor, she came back to my apartment even though she hadn't run three background checks, so all that awful stuff I did is OK, right?" Or even better, "I gave her something to drink and was able to slip something in without her seeing, so it's cool, right?"

Blame rests entirely on the person who is doing the illegal or immoral thing. I get that some people want to judge those who get passed-out drunk on occasion. That's fine. It's not a particularly responsible thing to do. The punishment should not be sexual assault. Judge the passed-out people who had nothing bad happen to them; the assault victims have already had something worse, leave them alone. I feel like men would understand this concept better if we were equally likely to be the victims of sexual assault.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:44 PM
 
7,357 posts, read 11,762,019 times
Reputation: 8944
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian75 View Post
I’m not saying he isn’t responsible but I still feel the woman should take some responsibility for her own safety.


She probably did. She probably thought everything was under control until he slipped that Mickey Finn into her drink. Every woman who gets raped immediately blames herself. I don't know why you think they don't. And they should only ever blame the assailant.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
6,915 posts, read 3,950,948 times
Reputation: 12876
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Plenty of women (if not most women) regret a night and don't call it rape. But at the same time, taking advantage of someone who is so impaired that she can't make informed decisions doesn't make him much of a stand-up guy.
And allowing herself to get to the point where she is too inebriated to be making informed decisions, like the fact that going to a strange guy's home is a bad idea, much less imbibing a drink that could contain God knows what drug, doesn't make her much of a stand up gal, either. And she's the one who should be in a right enough state of mind that she controls what happens and what doesn't, and whether she becomes a victim or not. If she's going to hand over her power in every situation she's going to have a very rough life.
 
Old 10-17-2017, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
6,915 posts, read 3,950,948 times
Reputation: 12876
Quote:
Originally Posted by homina12 View Post
Women actually should be able to go to the home of a recent acquaintance who is male and be safe. That's really not a high bar to set, is it?
I'm reading the OP that this woman met the guy that night and went home with him. That is not a "recent acquaintance," that person is a perfect stranger.
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