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They're learning their social skills through the media, FB, texting and others. Which means not learning much at all. Put the phone away, get your nose out of the phone, and look up for a change. You just might learn something.
I think it has something to do with a lot of men either having no father in their life as they grow up and/or really bad male influences or father figures as they grow up. It is not just that they can't handle rejection they have issues with aggression and being super aggressive.
They think a woman owes them something and they have power and control over them. A guy like Harvey Weinstein is the perfect example.
I do not like really aggressive guys to me they screw it up for other men. Because it makes men with certain personality types have to what is unnatural for them and be extremely aggressive as well just to be able to compete, and breakthrough. I think some men are being taught that being super aggressive and not taking no for an answer is the only way to get a woman.
I think it has something to do with a lot of men either having no father in their life as they grow up and/or really bad male influences or father figures as they grow up. It is not just that they can't handle rejection they have issues with aggression and being super aggressive.
They think a woman owes them something and they have power and control over them. A guy like Harvey Weinstein is the perfect example.
I do not like really aggressive guys to me they screw it up for other men. Because it makes men with certain personality types have to what is unnatural for them and be extremely aggressive as well just to be able to compete, and breakthrough. I think some men are being taught that being super aggressive and not taking no for an answer is the only way to get a woman.
I've read articles about how the stories that are marketed to men and boys often feature the hero pursuing a hesitant love interest, and only through persistence and wearing her down does he succeed.
I think this sends the wrong message. Like, "don't accept rejection! Try harder!" and when that doesn't work, then anger and frustration ensue. More significantly to my own thinking is the prevalence in the gaining of the love interest as the wrap-up of these stories. Like that's how you know the guy did a good job, that's his reward. He "got the girl." Hero gets the girl. These stories were always presented in such a way as to be formative. To speak to a boy's dreams and a man's sense of purpose.
So there is this exaggerated sense of unworthiness and misery and failure that many guys feel if they struggle to find love. Followed by the entirely predictable anger and bitterness. And the problem of abstraction, where they see love and women as a goal, a commodity, a cardboard cutout in a very particular shape...and have a very hard time wrapping their minds around women as people, indeed, just like them in many ways.
You combine that with guys who didn't have a solid male role model or an intact set of (functional, healthy) parents to show them how love works, how relationships work, and how to be respectful, loving and good...and totally still a man!...
This isn't just creating guys who can't handle rejection, or who always strike out, but it's creating another generation of dysfunctional relationship partners, too, who create more unhealthy households with stress and problems, where yet another generation of troubled boys (and girls!) get to grow up. Their parents didn't know how to do relationships well and now neither do they, all paying it forward like that.
I think it has something to do with a lot of men either having no father in their life as they grow up and/or really bad male influences or father figures as they grow up. It is not just that they can't handle rejection they have issues with aggression and being super aggressive.
They think a woman owes them something and they have power and control over them. A guy like Harvey Weinstein is the perfect example.
I do not like really aggressive guys to me they screw it up for other men. Because it makes men with certain personality types have to what is unnatural for them and be extremely aggressive as well just to be able to compete, and breakthrough. I think some men are being taught that being super aggressive and not taking no for an answer is the only way to get a woman.
Harvey Weinstein isn't an example of your average guy..he's a complete scumbag.. that's like saying women have a problem because there's so many stories now of women teachers having sex with their students..
Sure more and more stories are coming out of Hollywood but I don't think the average guy is nearly that level vile..
Plus when you're dealing with men in power I think that's a whole different ballgame also psychologically..
Maybe its just part of the overall degradation of society. Like manners, common courtesy, proper etiquette, etc. People seem really self absorbed to me, and totally disconnected from the people around them.
Maybe a lot of it has to do with how families are disconnected. Mom has to work, so shes not home raising little Mary and Johnny, therefore, they learn on their own how to act, and most likely from their peers who moms are also not home. Mom and dad work hard, and when they are home don't want to be bothered. Not because they don't love their kids, but everyone needs a little time to de-stress after a long day.
Media raises the kids and teaches them how to act. In the 1960's media did a decent job of that for the most part.
You had Andy Griffith, Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Walt Disney and Hallmark showing you what might not be available to you at home if you were one of the FEW kids being brought up in a single parent home.
What do you have now? Beavis and Butthead? Southpark? SpongeBob? Johnny Bravo?
In the 1960s no kids were drugged to keep them docile in school. They all got hit instead. Which is better, psychotropic drugs or a spanking? The kids learned how to act because if your parents weren't around to pop you upside the head, a neighbor would do it, or the teacher would do it. Now, you just have a kid acting up, being drugged and learning how to act from the media
How do a group of totally self absorbed, disconnected people learn to handle much, lol? How do they have any positive social interaction at all?
It amazes me when people talk about pursuing someone, its like they have to run them into the ground. Everything is all or nothing. Extreme.
There is a song by Lynyrd Skynyrd called, "Gimme 3 Steps". A guy is dancing with another guys GF. Her BF gets mad and goes after the guy doing the dancing. The first guy is cooly apologetic about it and leaves. If the same song was done today, neither guy would back down, and you would have a massacre in a club.
You hit on someone 3 or 4 times, and then you move on. Easy. You only have to try once if the reply is, "f-off!".
I've read articles about how the stories that are marketed to men and boys often feature the hero pursuing a hesitant love interest, and only through persistence and wearing her down does he succeed.
I think this sends the wrong message. Like, "don't accept rejection! Try harder!" and when that doesn't work, then anger and frustration ensue. More significantly to my own thinking is the prevalence in the gaining of the love interest as the wrap-up of these stories. Like that's how you know the guy did a good job, that's his reward. He "got the girl." Hero gets the girl. These stories were always presented in such a way as to be formative. To speak to a boy's dreams and a man's sense of purpose.
So there is this exaggerated sense of unworthiness and misery and failure that many guys feel if they struggle to find love. Followed by the entirely predictable anger and bitterness. And the problem of abstraction, where they see love and women as a goal, a commodity, a cardboard cutout in a very particular shape...and have a very hard time wrapping their minds around women as people, indeed, just like them in many ways.
You combine that with guys who didn't have a solid male role model or an intact set of (functional, healthy) parents to show them how love works, how relationships work, and how to be respectful, loving and good...and totally still a man!...
This isn't just creating guys who can't handle rejection, or who always strike out, but it's creating another generation of dysfunctional relationship partners, too, who create more unhealthy households with stress and problems, where yet another generation of troubled boys (and girls!) get to grow up. Their parents didn't know how to do relationships well and now neither do they, all paying it forward like that.
Totally the wrong message. I've learned my lesson...in a rather pleasant way. I've learned that women who like you, even if there is a little push back, they are not going to make it super hard for you.
As for the role models and parenting household. It is a cycle of trouble and dysfunction.
Totally the wrong message. I've learned my lesson...in a rather pleasant way. I've learned that women who like you, even if there is a little push back, they are not going to make it super hard for you.
I couldn't agree more. Repped!
To reiterate TJenkins602's message, there's a fine line between a woman's hesitation with a new person, and her stringing that person along with no intention to give him a chance romantically.
Totally the wrong message. I've learned my lesson...in a rather pleasant way. I've learned that women who like you, even if there is a little push back, they are not going to make it super hard for you.
Imho, young men should be taught, "dont bother asking any girl out unless she flirts with you first. Its possible that shes interested in you, buts also possible shes pretending for any number of reasons. Advise them also to forget dating web sites and buying women drinks in bars and trying to hook up. In all cases, theres a high likelyhood of rejection.
A few months ago smeone I know actually said this and it made sense. He said women get so many messages by men they ignore they get hit on hit constantly, and their egos are large because of the attention. He basically said, "make your money, live your life, and let a woman know she's into you first." I took his advice and surprise I met a 20 year old (she was 19 when I met her ) woman at school. I opened the door for her, asked what her name was, got her number, and basically stopped there. She showed romantic interest and I asked her out. We've been dating for almost a month now, things are going well so far.
A few months ago smeone I know actually said this and it made sense. He said women get so many messages by men they ignore they get hit on hit constantly, and their egos are large because of the attention. He basically said, "make your money, live your life, and let a woman know she's into you first." I took his advice and surprise I met a 20 year old (she was 19 when I met her ) woman at school. I opened the door for her, asked what her name was, got her number, and basically stopped there. She showed romantic interest and I asked her out. We've been dating for almost a month now, things are going well so far.
I agree with that. Live your life and make your money. Allow things to happen in dating.
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