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Agreed with everything, except the bold. That's not helpful advice either. Giving someone advice or pointers on how to possibly get over a hump, sure. But just saying "get over it"- is least helpful suggestion there is.
How does one get the thicker skin? You can't just tell them to get it, and they pick it up at a store. What are some ways you suggest a sensitive person become more of a hardened person whom rejection doesn't bother? Some people have been getting rejected constantly or for years, and it still bothers them on a more personal level than what it should. Very low self-esteem people. How do they move past that?
Learn somehow to handle a "no"? For example, through professional therapy or self help books?
Learn somehow to handle a "no"? For example, through professional therapy or self help books?
I don't mean not taking no for an answer. Unless one is a rapist, then they're gonna have to accept when someone says no. But, how does someone who's sensitive to something just not be sensitive? That's the question. Just saying "Get thicker skin" or "Don't be so sensitive" doesn't give you anything .
There are Highly Sensitive People, and they're VERY fragile. Someone could coldly reject them. Then weeks after the fact, they're still upset or embarrassed about it. Even if they know it's silly to still be harping on it, they can't help but still be embarrassed or upset from the experience. If one is THAT sensitive or fragile, what do they do to start not being that way?
Last edited by HappyRain; 11-07-2017 at 11:26 PM..
Agreed with everything, except the bold. That's not helpful advice either. Giving someone advice or pointers on how to possibly get over a hump, sure. But just saying "get over it"- is least helpful suggestion there is.
How does one get the thicker skin? You can't just tell them to get it, and they pick it up at a store. What are some ways you suggest a sensitive person become more of a hardened person whom rejection doesn't bother? Some people have been getting rejected constantly or for years, and it still bothers them on a more personal level than what it should. Very low self-esteem people. How do they move past that?
Fair enough
Getting rejected is part of asking people out. So you either have to learn to accept it, or you continue to sit on the bench. Don't let rejection keep you from trying. People shouldn't give up, because they got rejected. You might ask out or attempt to talk to 12 or 15, maybe even 20 people and get nothing but no's or no interest at all and poor reception to your conversation. You might also ask out 3 people and all of them say yes. This goes back to the ''You miss 100% of the shots you don't take'', which I've referenced several times. The best shooters in the NHL, don't even score most of the times they shoot a puck or attempt a shot. If you stop shooting the puck because you've went 10-15 shots with no goals, then you aren't ever gonna score one.
The same could be said for wanting to give up, if you have been getting dates, but can never get a second date. There's plenty of people that can get dates and have no problems with getting an initial chance, then they just can't get over the hump to get that second date.
And another thing, a lot of people get rejected for things that are not beyond their control, and they don't even realize it. Just for instance, how many of these guys that get on this forum and talk about how they always get rejected or can't even get a number, or haven't had a date in 2-3 years, or can't get a second date, or that they're a 30 year old virgin and it isn't exactly by choice or something that they're happy with? How many of these guys do you think are going around and venting to potential dating prospects or their date when they finally get one? I find it hard to believe that most of them are not doing this. And when they do this, it turns their date(s) off for various reasons. First of all, they're showing they're insecure about it, right off the bat. And second, they're possibly even insulting these dates, completely unintentionally by making their dates think ''Okay, he hasn't had a date in 2-3 years, no other women even wanna go out with him. Obviously, there's a reason for this, so why should I give him a chance? and it's insulting that he'd think that I wanna date him, when no one else does. Does he just think that I'm an idiot?''. And this just throws out yellow and red flags of all kinds. If you need to vent to someone about these things, make sure it's to your friends and family, not to your dates/potential dating prospects and certainly not to somebody that's gonna go and blab to them about it.
This is another reason we need to keep an eye on the boys a little closer. We do put a lot of expectation on boys. Making a living for their families, being successful, putting kids in college etc. I think we expect more from boys.
i don't think it's any worse then it ever was..I think because of social media it's just exposed a lot more now like everything else.
The internet and social media makes things seem more extreme then ever because it's the first generation with it.
If social media was around in past generations you'd see the same complaints..back in the day there was no voice for these people except close family and friends.
i don't think it's any worse then it ever was..I think because of social media it's just exposed a lot more now like everything else.
The internet and social media makes things seem more extreme then ever because it's the first generation with it.
If social media was around in past generations you'd see the same complaints..back in the day there was no voice for these people except close family and friends.
Back in the day wasn't so bad in some respects. You didn't have a willing audience to listen to your complaints. Too much and your friends and family would tell you to get over it, or start distancing themselves from you because you were a kiiljoy. Social media enables negative attention which unfortunately so many thrive on, because to them, negative attention is better than none at all. I think for some, they use the Internet to hide behind, get validation from, yet all the while remaining stuck where they are. They're not improving themselves but rather getting support to stay where they, miserably, are.
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