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I think the reason that boys lash out after rejection has many reasons. After a relationship, even if brief, girls will cut off and ignore the boy and wont even let him in on why she dumped him. This is frustrating to anyone that wants to know what happened, especially if they didnt see it coming. When this happened you cant even learn from it.
Some women like to hint for what they want, instead of risking rejection themselves and asking straight up. Many women still do this, hinting that they want their guy to do something, trying to "test" him (another female tactic) to see if he will do what they want, and if he fails the test, they say nothing. Do this a few times and eventually the guy gets dumped while he is clueless, then he isnt told why, because the woman is not invested enough anymore to explain it, maybe she feels he isnt worth the explanation.
Guys dont always have knowledgable friends around o let them know what they are doing wrong, so if youre a loner, it takes you a long time to get up to speed on how women work. Women usually have a big support group of friends to ease pain when they get dumped, so they handle it better.
It all depends on how people are raised and treat each other, games is quite a problem with dating for men and women.
Since most people arent good at communicating anyway, expecting them to teach their kids this is probably not going to happen. If they could teach kids in schools better communications skills, be able to give them the big picture on explaining the whys to people, there wouldnt be so much rejection. Of course you couldnt call it a "dating" class, because parents would instantly shoot it down.
I think it depends. Some can give bad advice, like treat the girl like a princess, bring her flowers on a first date etc and then the boy ends up friendzoned.
Of course, parents are prone to giving bad relatioship advise. Parents aren't perfect. Ive heard some of the most stupidest advise about women coming from my mother, Lol. I guess, what I'm getting at is that the way a boy treats his mother is often how he will treat the women in his lives. Same applies to a daughter/father relatioship.
Some guys act like getting freindzoned is the end of their world (just put a bullet to my head) Lol.
It seems a lot of guys (boys) are so accustom to receiving "yes" all their lives and when someone says "no" all hell breaks lose. Lol.
Seriously, if someone cant handle "no's" in everyday life, they really need to seek therapy.
Last edited by hawaiiancoconut; 11-02-2017 at 01:07 AM..
Start paying attention to what is happening on college campuses and you'll be better dialed into what is happening with the last generation or two.
I'm a gen X'er and I have over the years on this forum spent time trying to give young people a break. Of course not all is to blame on young people. Anyone with a rational thought can subscribe to that.
There is also no denying that a core shift has been happening in the last few years. People are more disrespectful of American values among a whole other slew of things. Just the last few yeasr really has thing really sorta gone off the deep end. The therapy dogs and hot chocolate colleges were giving out because Trump won. I mean I woke up everyday for a damn week and my first thought was holly Christ I can't believe Trump won. I was horrified. I get it, but there was vid clips of students on campus literally in the fetal postion crying because Hillary lost. I mean come on, give me a break already. You're team lost, buck up, make plans to regroup and reoganzize to get your message out. Don't cry on the streets like five yr old because she lost. I mean never seen any of that garbage in my whole life.
Safe spaces... lol, really???? You're so tender that contrary views require this? Micro-aggressions? When I was growing up it was some dude being a ******** and you saw it for what it was and you moved on. You didn't try to stifle their views.
The first amendment is under attack. The nitwits up in Berkley are probably some of the biggest wimps I've ever seen. Cost 600k of tax payer dollars to pay for a talk that Ben Shapiro wanted to give. I mean come on. I'm not righty but I've spent enough time listening to him to know that he's just a typical conservative espousing the typical less government drivel that cons tend to say. To call him dangerous is beyond silly.
People on college campuses are in the space to hear, see and take in varieties of data. That is what the college experience is about. To learn to hear wide varying world views and to formulate one's own opinions on he world the universe and otherwise.
To live in an echo chamber insulated from others opinions is stupid beyond measure.
Again, we didn't have any of this stuff till just the last 5 to 10 years. Not sure what happened, but something happened and to say otherwise is doing it ostrich style....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I agree, bozos exist at all ages. The difference is with today is just look at college campuses across the nation. Freedom of speech is under attack. Safe spaces and micro-aggression accusations all over the place. People can't handle differing opinions without causing so much distress. This stuff is much newer. This lack of civivilty stems from being somewhat isolated from the discomfort of dealings with things that make us uncomfortable. All of this would appear to circle back to some over protection on some level.
The past election is a great example how people cant handle rejection. In all my life Ive never witnessed such a thing.
As for the bold: I just recently saw a commercial from a California billionaire (Tom Steyer) to join a movement to impeach Trump, saying along the lines that hes dangerous, and armed with nuclear weapons, Lmao.
He honestly thinks Americans (me and you) are so stupid to believe one person in USA is given a device with nuclear launch codes, that he or she can lock themselves up in room somewhere and start turning keys and pressing buttons without going through a stringent protocol involving numerous people when it comes to authorizing the release of nuclear weapons, LMAO. How ridiculous is that! More ridiculous is that a lot of people believe him, LOl.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
He honestly thinks Americans (me and you) are so stupid to believe one person in USA is given a device with nuclear launch codes, that he or she can lock themselves up in room somewhere and start turning keys and pressing buttons without going through a stringent protocol involving numerous people when it comes to authorizing the release of nuclear weapons, LMAO. How ridiculous is that! More ridiculous is that a lot of people believe him, LOl.
Um, how do you think it happens? It only takes the President to launch a nuclear attack. The Secretary of Defense has to authenticate that it came from the President, but they have no authority to veto it.
There is one person, and one person alone, that authorizes the release of nuclear weapons. That's it. Not multiple people. No checks and balances (just an authentication).
My problem is I might be too selfish to be honest. I've been with enough women to know I must be doing something right but most of my experiences with women haven't been anything of substance other then lust. I'm 29 now but find myself becoming even more indifferent.
Dating though really shouldn't feel like a chore, it should be fun!
GUYs if a women really has high interest in you she makes things easier for you not harder, and no this doesn't mean she automatically sleeps with you the first date, but finally at the age of 29 I am learning the difference between chasing women and being persistent with them. Women do not like to be chased, especially not over chased, but they like a man who is persistent. There is a difference. As soon as a women stops reciprocating with you in any major way move the hell on to the next!!
Great points. Usually things should just click. Media convinces guys that they should jump through tons of hoops, but those relationships don't usually work. Women know what they want and if they want you, they're not going to make it that difficult for you.
The past election is a great example how people cant handle rejection. In all my life Ive never witnessed such a thing.
As for the bold: I just recently saw a commercial from a California billionaire (Tom Steyer) to join a movement to impeach Trump, saying along the lines that hes dangerous, and armed with nuclear weapons, Lmao.
He honestly thinks Americans (me and you) are so stupid to believe one person in USA is given a device with nuclear launch codes, that he or she can lock themselves up in room somewhere and start turning keys and pressing buttons without going through a stringent protocol involving numerous people when it comes to authorizing the release of nuclear weapons, LMAO. How ridiculous is that! More ridiculous is that a lot of people believe him, LOl.
Well, my "dangerous" comment was really talking about Ben Shapiro. Just for clarification. It terms of nukes I always heard growing up anecdotally that there is a whole slew of protocol and steps that has to happen and that multiple people are involved. I don't know that any one person can just start launching nukes. I can't imagine that there isn't a very detailed protocol that was developed, especially in the heat of the cold war nuke build up. At the end of the day I don't truly know, just guestimating here a bit.
We're getting into the POC realm where most of those idiots over there make comments about things along these lines where the average civilian really at the end of the day doesn't have all the info to be make such "factual sounding" comments. I just laugh at half the crap people over there say that don't have a clue how things actually work.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
It terms of nukes I always heard growing up anecdotally that there is a whole slew of protocol and steps that has to happen and that multiple people are involved. I don't know that any one person can just start launching nukes. I can't imagine that there isn't a very detailed protocol that was developed, especially in the heat of the cold war nuke build up. At the end of the day I don't truly know, just guestimating here a bit.
It's not detailed. Now, individuals that are supposed to launch can defy orders, but...
Authorization of a nuclear or strategic attack[edit]
Only the President can direct the use of nuclear weapons by U.S. armed forces, including the Single Integrated Operational Plan (SIOP). While the President does have unilateral authority as commander-in-chief to order that nuclear weapons be used for any reason at any time, the actual procedures and technical systems in place for authorizing the execution of a launch order requires a secondary confirmation under a two-man rule, as the President's order is subject to secondary confirmation by the Secretary of Defense. If the Secretary of Defense does not concur, then the President may in his sole discretion fire the Secretary. The Secretary of Defense has legal authority to approve the order, but cannot veto it.
I think the crux of the problem is that when men get rejected or dumped, a woman seldom, if ever at all, tells them why she's doing it. Not even generic reasons, like whether the rejection is due to something they did (e.g. tried to kiss her), something they are (e.g. not attractive enough), or something genuinely non-personal (e.g. lives too far). So they can never learn from their "mistakes", and do it diffrently next time with the next person. They just get rejected with what's basically a non-verbal "too bad, so sad!". And that's if they made an actual mistake, rather than simply initiated things with the wrong person.
Heck, that's enough to rile anyone up! But since men are shamed into not showing they emotions, and they're shamed early and often, the negative energy builds up and gets released into all sorts of unhealthy ways.
Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 11-02-2017 at 11:02 AM..
I used to take rejection very personally like the type of "you're ugly, get the hell away from me" type of personally. At the time, I was younger. But now as I have gotten older, after so many rejections you start to not care as much. I don't take it personally unless the person is extremely crass about it. You can reject someone without being an ass about it.
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