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Old 11-28-2017, 01:24 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,304 posts, read 1,131,336 times
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Yeah I live in my head. I dont have friends in real life so theres no one to talk to. Also I'm not close to any family so anyone I talk to all day is just customers and people that I work with. It's hard. Sometimes something will happen and I won't have anyone to tell. Or I have conversations with myself in my head and think about things. But I never say them out loud so it's like they aren't real. I think about that a lot too.

I talk to people in my head too. Throughout the day. Not imaginary people but people I have known or family. Sometimes it's a serious conversation, sometimes it's like a letter I'm writing in my head. It gets lonely but I ahve gotten pretty used to living this way.
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Old 11-28-2017, 12:21 PM
 
1,104 posts, read 916,580 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy View Post
Yeah I live in my head. I dont have friends in real life so theres no one to talk to. Also I'm not close to any family so anyone I talk to all day is just customers and people that I work with. It's hard. Sometimes something will happen and I won't have anyone to tell. Or I have conversations with myself in my head and think about things. But I never say them out loud so it's like they aren't real. I think about that a lot too.
Yeah me too. It feels sad to go home feeling like all you've done is sit around in your head all day and it's especially unpleasant after when something nasty happens too. You try to work things out within yourself. It's hard and it feels crazy but it is completely normal.
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Old 11-28-2017, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 5,005,208 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiaLia View Post
When you say "live in your head a lot" do you equate that with "stuck in my head", "depressed", "conducive to overanalyzing things to death"? I'm not clear on what you mean by "live in your head a lot". I guess I'm saying that a whole lot of help to humanity has come from people who are very, very, focused and brilliantly imaginative. They are known to be in their heads a lot. Maybe what you're talking about is being stuck in negative thoughts -- that's what you're finding detrimental. Is that right? If so, I think being in one's head a lot and being stuck in one's head a lot are two totally different things.

I'm so glad you brought this up. I was going to.
And he answers:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wordsmith12 View Post
Things have improved tremendously. For my part, I've ceased being judgmental. I'm letting things go. No more holding grudges.

My point was that kids come first. When you're a parent, you learn to be unselfish -- to put another human being's needs before your own. Thus, it pushes you to come out of your head. You're thinking about your child, not yourself (at least not nearly as much).
Wordsmith, you are an adult and clearly a thinking one, so make of this what you will. I'm some stranger on the Net, so I don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

You presuppose that having kids will change you. You presupposed that having them could end your [apparently vital] time to yourself / in your head. You presuppose now that when you have kids, they come first, and that you learn to be unselfish.

Let me assure you, this is precisely like the folks who get married because they think if they do they'll settle down, stop sleeping around (and thus remove all the difficulties which can come from such activity). They think getting married will force the change they seek, like a magic pill to overcome.

That is NOT a reason to want kids. Kids NEED a lot of attention, REQUIRE a lot of time -- but that doesn't mean they'll get it. A person who is selfish before a child is born ONLY becomes unselfish through determination and decision, NOT via a magical transformation whereby they suddenly wake up and realize a small, helpless person now relies on them.


If that actually happened, there wouldn't be any neglected kids in the first place, kids with parents who are caught up in their own dramas and so neglect their children.


I am NOT saying you would do so; only you can know such a thing. But it's food for thought, especially if you really think having kids would FORCE a particular frame of mind, attitude toward how one practices life, or level of personal accountability.

Don't have kids because you think it will make you a better person. Your place in the world and how you view it is not a child's responsibility, and even if you were really trying odds are good you'd be unconsciously placing an undue burden on a kid with NO foundation or idea how to handle it, screwing them up before they even have their shot.
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Old 11-28-2017, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
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Standing ovation for Urban Sasquatch!! So true.
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Old 11-28-2017, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
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Yes.

Love the quote...




mschrief;50236228]Yes, that is the only place I do not have to hear anyone's critical works, insults, etc.

In the words of Lyle Lovett:

… I live in my own mind
Ain't nothin but a good time
No rain just the sunshine
Out here in my own mind…[/quote]
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Old 11-30-2017, 10:12 AM
 
58 posts, read 41,235 times
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It was first suggested that I was "living in my head" a couple of years ago. I didn't really understand what the phrase meant. But once I did, I realized it was how I had lived most of my life.

And I realized that I had missed most of my life. Instead of being present, and living the moment, I was grinding the past or stressing about the future. So I just wasn't there.

There are so many moments, especially of my children's childhoods, that I wish I could remember more clearly. I wish I had been more present for conversations with my parents (especially my Dad, now too ill to speak), and my grandparents.

But all of this is now past. I am studying mindfulness, and trying to appreciate and live the present moment, the real one, not the one in my head. I can't recommend it strongly enough.
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Old 11-30-2017, 11:31 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,944 posts, read 31,079,407 times
Reputation: 47329
Definitely. There is a reason I post so much on here. When I've been in environments where I interact with others in real life more, I post less.
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Old 11-30-2017, 11:48 AM
 
Location: OHIO
2,575 posts, read 2,064,773 times
Reputation: 5966
I understand what you mean and I am the same way. I am such an anxious person, struggle with depression and control issues.Sometimes the best thing for me is to do something to distract me. To GET OUT of my head, or just redirect my thoughts and forget about all the pointless stuff I am fixating on.


I do this by being with friends, reading a great book, researching something that interests me, painting/drawing, doing math/puzzles, cleaning, working out, etc. There's many ways to try and achieve this without having kids. I could have 6 kids and still feel how I feel because in the end it's something I need to work on within myself.
Not saying you wouldn't be a wonderful parent, but only have them for the RIGHT reasons.

Last edited by crd08; 11-30-2017 at 12:21 PM..
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Old 11-30-2017, 12:17 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,658,614 times
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I definitely live in my head, and it's both a comfort and a curse. For the most part, I'm happy in here. I like myself and can even make myself laugh. But I can also pick fights with people in my head, worry about things that never happen, and ruminate on past failures.

And I wouldn't necessarily call myself an introvert. When I was younger, I used to love to go to parties and be around a crowd of people. Now I do that less and less, although it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Just not as many opportunities.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:42 PM
 
343 posts, read 315,167 times
Reputation: 555
yes! i wish i could be more in the present moment..i wish we could connect with our emotions and heart more...uggh...the mind is a terrible thing to waste, however is does get tiresome when you think toooooo much!
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