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You weren't there; I was. She didn't "sit with me." She came after me, and it didn't hurt in any ordinary way. Did you read the whole thread? I don't believe that she had "the best intentions," either. She was causing me pain and she enjoyed it. Why do you think my dad had to stop her. You weren't there.
I know that this thread is about whether you are self-deluded about your own intelligence. I'm suggesting that a shift in perspective might help answer that question. If you choose to be a victim, then remember that it is entirely your decision to live life in that role. If you choose to blurt out your credentials to assert your position, which I would describe as that of 'victim', then perhaps you should not be surprised when people are taken aback.
I don't think anybody was taken aback but you, if you even were. And while I hate your response--because I think it's abusive--I love your voice. So sure of yourself, so authoritative! Wrong very often, it appears from reading your other posts, but very clearly and cleverly crafted nonetheless. Nice writing.
You're not paying attention (not that it matters, or is important, and I don't really care), but if you had paid a little closer attention you would have seen how I fought off being a victim. I'm thinking your last, over-the-top remarks were inspired by my story hitting a little too close to home. Daughter complaints? My guess, anyway.
I'm a high school dropout with no formal schooling, even trade school, of any kind. I'm 64.
I guess my story is a bit different. I was successful at most everything I did...not because I am so smart, but because my "normal" on how ambitious, hard working and honest one should be differs from the masses. Instead of trying to do less for more (like many people), I always do 110% and then work up from there.
My businesses were successful because I don't give up. I also don't count my own time...if I did I would have gotten depressed on how little I was making considering my 60 hour weeks.
I'm not famous but I created a 30+ year business that made a profit every year when I ran it (20 years). I raised three children and still am married to my childhood sweetheart. After I finished my physical (retail, etc) careers I published my own web magazine and had millions of viewers. My little site was as popular as zipcar and northface (online).
I sold that site and started another just for fun - authored a couple Amazon books and they sold in the thousands, which is pretty good for eBooks from a unknown author.
I'm still at it......but in the end, it's all dust to dust. The business accomplishment that will keep my name in the books are two patents. But, really, who cares? I have realized that after about two generations, no one cares anymore. Sure, you will be in the family tree and some of your kin will care, but that's about it.
So I guess the big question is - what should we expect? For me, the real success was raising the kids, staying married AND the financial independence that came with the 30-40 years of work and constant saving and investment.
Now - and for the rest of my life - it's about balance. My health and happiness are really #1 - they allow me to help myself and then to help others.
if you do things to help people every day, you are a success. Maybe you should take up some kind of teaching position and impart your knowledge to people....if it is helpful and good, then your "Karma Points" will add up fast.
In the end - really - we are all just ants on the planets. Very few people have are Salk, FDR or Elon Musk.
As far as "how smart you are" - I was very lucky to be blessed with a mixture of reason, logic, common sense AND some intelligence. Without sounding too crude, I am usually right about things - even my wife (after 45 years) will agree. This is not magic or a 170 IQ. This is only because I don't get caught up in the emotion of things and think about them while looking closely at others who have done a similar thing (or at history). You can be pretty accurate most of the time.
Everyone falls somewhere on the Bell Curve on most everything. Maybe you are a great lover. Maybe your cooking is amazing? Maybe you can pick up a camera and really understand what looks good to the eye.
@craigiri: I'd say you were a huge success in life. And you're right about teaching (and everything else, too, but especially about this); I've been teaching off and on for nearly 50 years and it's the greatest source of happiness.
Several posters have mentioned a sort of nihilistic perspective; it's all dust in the wind. Yes, but my problems are not such that I want to adopt some all-encompassing, negative world view that is a little bit overkill for the issues at hand. A mere *mood* of feeling, gee, I'm probably not as bright as maybe I think I am, does not rise to that level.
I know that this thread is about whether you are self-deluded about your own intelligence. I'm suggesting that a shift in perspective might help answer that question. If you choose to be a victim, then remember that it is entirely your decision to live life in that role. If you choose to blurt out your credentials to assert your position, which I would describe as that of 'victim', then perhaps you should not be surprised when people are taken aback.
I understand the intent of this advice and know very well how it can help some people.
However, surely you see how you are in fact re-victimizing the OP. She has already expressed some of the type of sentiment you are advocating. But that's not enough. Now you're shaming her for not fully giving her obviously abusive mother the benefit of the doubt.
I understand the intent of this advice and know very well how it can help some people.
However, surely you see how you are in fact re-victimizing the OP. She has already expressed some of the type of sentiment you are advocating. But that's not enough. Now you're shaming her for not fully giving her obviously abusive mother the benefit of the doubt.
Stop. It's harming, not helping.
I was hoping someone would defend me. Thank you. And if you look closely. I gave mother the benefit of the doubt in other instances, just not on the hair braiding issue. How could anyone venture an evaluation without seeing her face, the body language, me crying and screaming.
Whenever someone posts something obnoxious, looking at their -- thousands, in this case -- other posts and there is a clear pattern. Fine. It has nothing to do with me.
I understand the intent of this advice and know very well how it can help some people.
However, surely you see how you are in fact re-victimizing the OP. She has already expressed some of the type of sentiment you are advocating. But that's not enough. Now you're shaming her for not fully giving her obviously abusive mother the benefit of the doubt.
Stop. It's harming, not helping.
All children perceive hair braiding with tight braids as painful because it involves the sense that your eyeballs have been tied to your ears. Anyone who goes through life claiming that this is an example of child abuse is pulling one over on you.
All children perceive hair braiding with tight braids as painful because it involves the sense that your eyeballs have been tied to your ears. Anyone who goes through life claiming that this is an example of child abuse is pulling one over on you.
In and of itslf, perhaps. But in the context of everything else, you are simplifying. Absurd.
All children perceive hair braiding with tight braids as painful because it involves the sense that your eyeballs have been tied to your ears. Anyone who goes through life claiming that this is an example of child abuse is pulling one over on you.
Not every hair braiding experience is identical. You are honing in on one example and equating it to YOUR own experiences 1) with no context and 2) with pure speculation.
Again, harming, not helping. Enough is enough.
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