People who need people. . (college, parent, adult)
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It's not so much that I need a lot of people, it's that the people I do need, I miss very much.
My wife left with my son a few weeks ago. I miss my boy. My best friends that I grew up with and have known for 23 years all moved to a different city about 3 years ago. I don't miss the wife but, my son and my friends were my broskis... no matter how well I might get along with anyone new I meet... the attachment almost never forms... well I have been at my current job for 1 1/2 years but, I don't ever see myself breaking bread with even my 3 or 4 favorite people there.
I had my mom, then my friends, then the Army for 7 years, then the wife and child...
...but now, it feels like I really have no one to come home to. I still like my apartment though; bathroom, no freezing to death sleeping in a car, and a place for me and my son to play when I do see him...
It feels like actual crushing loneliness to me, I don't know how people deal with this. ...and I know I'm still blessed that I have some people who will pick up the phone, and my son still calls me "Daddy!!!" but, the old expat, he's stronger than I could ever be. I don't think I would wake up with only passing acquaintances to look forward to...
on't miss the wife but, my son and my friends were my broskis... no matter how well I might get along with anyone new I meet... the attachment almost never forms... well I have been at my current job for 1 1/2 years but, I don't ever see myself breaking bread with even my 3 or 4 favorite people there.
I had my mom, then my friends, then the Army for 7 years, then the wife and child...
...but now, it feels like I really have no one to come home to.
It feels like actual crushing loneliness to me, I don't know how people deal with this. ...and I know I'm still blessed that I have some people who will pick up the phone, and my son still calls me "Daddy!!!" but, the old expat, he's stronger than I could ever be. I don't think I would wake up with only passing acquaintances to look forward to...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sand&Salt
^^^That is really rough! How crushing---so sorry to hear it. Anything we could say would come off trite.
I hope you get to see your son fairly regularly and at least get calls often! Best to you in an untenable situation.
Being empathic and sympathetic is good and kind. I wouldn't say the situation is untenable though.
Being alone with no one to come home to is the reality of many many people. RageX can be assured that he is not alone in facing this situation - many people find themselves in similar circumstances.
RageX says he had his mom, then friends, then the Army for 7 years, then a wife and child - and now he feels he has no one - and passing conversations or interactions with others are not resulting in any attachments.
Obviously, some people deal with loneliness much better than others. Crushing loneliness can be brutal for those who experience life in that way.
If it helps at all, RageX, be assured that you are not alone in experiencing life as you describe - and you say you're even lucky enough to have "some people who will pick up the phone and call you" which is something valuable. I do hope you get to see and spend time with your son.
Thank you so much for your support. What you call logging in, or keystrokes, really helps me out.
Let me be clear: I would NEVER entertain thoughts of anything final, ok? I do not believe there is ANY kind of post-mortal existence. This is all we get until all have to return to non-existence.
Also, possibly hundreds of millions of people the world over all got it harder than any of us. There's millions of people IN the US that got it rough...
I'm anti social, like people and enjoy conversation with some people but large crowds of people and I just get uncomfortable. Ir can take me an hour or so to relax in a business meeting
* Like company maybe half the time
*Okay with or without people around
That's the way I answered the poll. I actually ponder this topic often. I grew up in a big family. 7 people total, in a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. Privacy and quiet were premiums to me. I still relish alone time, even though I love my husband, and I enjoy his company. I look forward to days off, just me in the house.
A few years ago, my husband had a training class in San Diego (where my oldest son lives). So I went with him. While my husband was in class, I had a couple of hours to kill before my son was coming by the hotel to pick me up.
I decided to take a walk in the Old Town neighborhood. MY pace, shopping in the various shops that I wanted to, stopping and people watching, looking at old tombstones...etc. At one point, stopped in a coffee shop and bought a coffee and scone, and then sat outside and just...enjoyed my space and the moment, watching people and the scenery. The owner of the coffee shop came outside and visited with me for a few minutes, asking me how I was enjoying my time, etc. (I guess it was obvious I was from out of town. LOL)
I loved every minute of my alone time. It felt very peaceful and happy to me.
But you know...I knew I'd see my husband at the end of the day, and I knew my son was coming to pick me up for sight seeing soon...so I was alone in the moment, but not because I HAD to be. So...I just don't know.
But on the other hand, when I was young and single, I lived alone...and I don't really remember being lonely. But I have always had people I could be with, if I wanted to.
A few years ago, my husband had a training class in San Diego (where my oldest son lives). So I went with him. While my husband was in class, I had a couple of hours to kill before my son was coming by the hotel to pick me up.
Is being alone for two hours in a city so rare as to be made into a special example?
Last edited by matisse12; 01-03-2018 at 04:04 PM..
I'm right in the middle. I lost so many of my best friends when I was growing up due to changing social circles, people moving, and the like, but unfortunately I was never really able to find any new people to take their places. I have mainly kept to myself since, as I don't have a very reliable way to talk with anyone and therefore I don't really try to meet new people because it just frustrates me when I can't stay in touch. However, I know that at heart, I still like people, and once I change my current situation I look forward to meeting some new people and hopefully start over, for lack of a better term.
Is being alone for two hours in a city so rare as to be made into a special example?
Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
That seems to be a common occurrence on C-D; some to whom a particular thread doesn't actually apply seem determined to make it so...
Alone for two hours isn't "alone" (it's so confusing, isn't it?)...
I do hear you. (not confusing though)
I also took it as being alone out in the world or particularly in another city was so very foreign and a special experience to her that she felt her two-hours alone would make an excellent, very fine example.
Meeting her challenge of striking out on her own in a city for two-hours or just being alone in a city for two hours was something she wanted to express - while others do this a million times over in their life for years, decades, or a lifetime and find the example jaw-dropping.
Last edited by matisse12; 01-05-2018 at 02:57 PM..
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