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EXCEPT -- this is not a restaurant. When you go to a restaurant and the servings are oversized, it doesn't matter about asking for a take-home box, because you have paid for it. It's yours.
I went to an evening memorial service for a beloved person. It was held in a restaurant reserved for the ocassion. The grieving family footed the bill for everything. After a while dinner was available buffet style. After everyone had eaten, the staff removed the dinner selections and brought out the desserts. A woman at my table expressed shock and irritation that the leftover dinner courses had not been made available for her and others to bag up later and take home. She was mightily offended. I was speechless.
I have cooked for a LOT of people and have never encountered this. When someone likes my cooking normally they ask for a recipe. That is NORMAL behavior. I am more than happy to give leftovers, but when I do it it's by my choice, not some weirdo scooping things into containers. I find that extremely odd because as a chef I am happy to give leftovers without resorting to such means. Honestly, it would weird me out and make me think they are extremely low-class guests. Especially to do so without asking. When someone shows you hospitality, that is rude and insulting.
Last edited by EastBoundandDownChick; 01-24-2018 at 02:22 AM..
I guess we're lucky you don't post on sex forums too.
This is a really great point. ^^^
Except for this one time.
Everyone here has made out this guest to be a rude and greedy psycho, when maybe she was being polite by bringing her own containers so as not to inconvenience her hostess whose food is SO magically delicious that she ALWAYS offers the leftovers.
I could accept this if it wasn't for her asking for seconds, having a bite, and then not eating it. If she knew that he ALWAYS gives leftovers and thoughtfully brought her own container, she would have just told him that outright and not been sneaky about it.
I could accept this if it wasn't for her asking for seconds, having a bite, and then not eating it.
OP said she "ate a little." Who knows how much she actually consumed? Maybe her eyes were bigger than her stomach? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We only have one side of the story, which was told, of course, in the OP's favor. The OP can hardly judge her guests for behavior that she, in fact, may have set in motion herself.
It sounds more like a power struggle than anything, with the OP being pissed that her guest usurped her authority by asking for leftovers rather than waiting until the OP deigned to offer them.
Well, I mean... there's not really much gray in this, is there?
There shouldn't be a struggle. Who does the soup belong to? You are GIVEN leftovers; you don't TAKE leftovers. The guest finangled her way around that. LOL
Well, I mean... there's not really much gray in this, is there?
... The guest finangled her way around that. LOL
Whether or not she finagled it IS the gray, yes.
If people want to assume the guest is 100% crazy, rude and wrong, they can believe she brought containers with the intent to scam her host out of some food.
If people want to ponder the possibility that the guest was being considerate, they might believe she brought containers because her host ALWAYS provides them anyway.
Sorry for over-describing the food. I participate in cooking forums and this is just how we talk about food.
After reading your posts, I agree the guest’s behaviour was tacky and manipulative. The asking for second servings and eating only a few bites of each plus bringing the tupperware were the giveaways to her intentions.
I happened to run into this gal last Tuesday, the day before the cold took me down. She mentioned she had eaten the best mac and cheese ever when she babysat her granddaughter on Monday. Her SIL is a chef. She said she always raids their frig when she babysits. She mentioned she always confesses and apologizes…. “but his cooking is so good!â€
Perhaps entitlement is involved after all.
Thank to each of you for your help in helping see what is going on with this odd behaviour. I don’t like manipulative friends so thank you for helping me avoid one.
Before jumping to the conclusion she is manipulative consider this, perhaps she craves the pleasure of another person's home cooked meal and she comes prepared for leftovers. That way she gets to prolong the good experience of enjoying another person's culinary skills at home. Don't give up inviting her over, just reassure her at the beginning of the meal you always cook a lot and will be sending some leftovers home with her.
I am marginal cook, I cook just enough to get by. My friends are polite enough to say I am a good cook but I don't think so. It is my friends and family members that are the fantastic cooks and I am hopeful that I get leftovers each time I go to a meal there. Not because I am too broke or frugal to cook my next meal, but because I enjoy the cooking of others over my own cooking.
Yes, the asking for a 2nd helping then whipping out her own bowls is odd. I don't ask for leftovers because I know with my crew they are offering. Shoot I would even buy the groceries for the meal if they would cook more often!
We had a guy show up at a potluck with a big bag and lots of containers. While everyone waited for him to pull out all these bowls of amazing food he just left it sitting on the floor.
He ate five full plates of food and then pulled his tubs out of the bag and loaded up all of the food from the potluck. Then tried to steal the hosts tomatoes.
This cracked me up.
My sister and her husband used to have a friend who showed up at a party at their house with a half-empty bottle of booze and then left with a full one.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by profnot
Thanks to each of you for your post. I have read each one carefully and gained many insights.
My apologies for disappearing. I came down with a cold on Wednesday.
Sorry for over-describing the food. I participate in cooking forums and this is just how we talk about food.
After reading your posts, I agree the guest’s behaviour was tacky and manipulative. The asking for second servings and eating only a few bites of each plus bringing the tupperware were the giveaways to her intentions.
I happened to run into this gal last Tuesday, the day before the cold took me down. She mentioned she had eaten the best mac and cheese ever when she babysat her granddaughter on Monday. Her SIL is a chef. She said she always raids their frig when she babysits. She mentioned she always confesses and apologizes…. “but his cooking is so good!”
Perhaps entitlement is involved after all.
To answer a few questions -
While I was cooking lunch, I had set aside a few plastic containers for her to take home some food if she wished. I always offer. I’m flattered when people take food home.
The guest is 66 and lives alone. A few posters said she probably doesn’t cook. I think that is true. I’ve told her I like cooking.
Her finances and mine are similar. We are both fine.
Someone posted: “If someone tried the above on me, they'd land outdoors in the snow.”
LOL !!!
Someone posted: “…this scam of pretending to be hungry for more, eating just a bite, and then acting like 'oh I may as well take the rest of mine home now!' And 'golly, I just happen to have containers with me’.”
Bingo !!!
Thank to each of you for your help in helping see what is going on with this odd behaviour. I don’t like manipulative friends so thank you for helping me avoid one.
I'm glad you posted her circumstances, profnot. When I read your OP, I was reminded of my elderly unmarried Aunt who had lived alone all her life. Home cooked food offered to her by family and friends felt like love to her, and she'd pack left overs to take home, stating it just tasted so good. We loved my aunt, who is now deceased, but she did have some odd behaviors. One of them was getting you to wait on her. "While you're up, can you get me a pickle to go with this". You bring her a pickle, and it's much too big, can you please cut that in half. That sort of thing. She was loving, and supportive, and sweet, but you did get the impression she was lacking in someone to dote on her. Home cooked food felt like doting, I think. BTW, she left a large estate after being a state employed social worker all her life. So yes, she was frugal. But generous with her gift giving, despite giving gifts we still grin and wonder about all these years later.
You never know the blessings you inadvertently give people, and my guess is she felt very blessed by your delicious food and friendship.
I was surprised by the behaviour of someone I met last fall at some group social meetings.
In late Dec, I invited this gal over for lunch. I made a tasty beef stew with cognac, lots of freshly roasted herbed vegetables, and garnished with creme fraiche. For dessert, we had warm berries topped with cream whipped with Frangelico, toasted and ground hazelnuts, and cardamom.
After she ate her generous serving of stew, she asked for a second helping. I was flattered but surprised since the first serving was huge and she is tiny. She is my guest and might have a furiously high metabolism, so why not? So I gave her another big serving.
She ate a little then put bowl aside.
Same thing happened with dessert.
Hmmmmm? I was curious.
Then she mentioned she brought tupperware with her and could she take her uneaten food home?
I transferred contents of bowls to tupperware, of course.
I've never had this happen. I didn't mind giving her food but the expectations and behaviour were something I have never seen before. I've been puzzled about this for weeks.
Is this odd? Do people do this all the time? Or does she place frugality over manners more than I do? Her finances are fine (I know bc she has asked me for some advice re investments, etc).
What do you think?
I have a cousin like this, cheap as cheap can be. I presume she'll take her fortune with her, she'll be buried in a coffin full of $20 bills.
Say goodbye to this moron. She has no couth whatsoever, no class, no boundaries. Trash in other words.
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One of them was getting you to wait on her. "While you're up, can you get me a pickle to go with this". You bring her a pickle, and it's much too big, can you please cut that in half. That sort of thing. She was loving, and supportive, and sweet, but you did get the impression she was lacking in someone to dote on her. Home cooked food felt like doting, I think. BTW, she left a large estate after being a state employed social worker all her life. So yes, she was frugal. But generous with her gift giving, despite giving gifts we still grin and wonder about all these years later.
