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Old 01-28-2018, 07:31 PM
 
4,927 posts, read 2,887,350 times
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I don't think there's anything wrong with expressing a healthy sexuality, and to deny it is prudish, which is dumb. I just broke up with my long time boyfriend. And the one before that died recently, poor guy. It usually takes me six to twelve months to find somebody else; I really don't have anybody in mind and wonder how long it will take this time.

Many times women colleagues in orchestras who have never been married have asked me, how come you always have a boyfriend or husband? The answer's pretty simple, really: I treat men with respect, I like them, I don't quarrel with them or criticize them, put them down, whine or complain, act jealously, or demand unreasonable things. No man that's worth anything will stick around for any of that. I also feed them well--good food, good coffee, good wine. And so worn out and tired they don't have the energy to pursue anyone else.

Why these women don't find anyone really has to do, I think, with their perception of men as adjuncts to their egos, a "thing" to be used, rather than a person.

Your thoughts?

 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:14 PM
 
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You left out how you meet your men in the first place. That is the big hurdle that keeps many from not having a significant other - meeting someone who fits with oneself. Or meeting anyone at all. And then having that person be equally interested. And you have to attract someone in the first place.....
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post

Why these women don't find anyone really has to do, I think, with their perception of men as adjuncts to their egos, a "thing" to be used, rather than a person.

Your thoughts?
I filed for divorce ending a 16 year relationship because of this. I was not a thing, I would not allow myself to be treated as such. I made this very clear to her before hand. Unfortunately it was like trying to explain algebra to a kitten, or she just didn't give a damn. I have never asked.
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
You left out how you meet your men in the first place. That is the big hurdle that keeps many from not having a significant other - meeting someone who fits with oneself. Or meeting anyone at all. And then having that person be equally interested. And you have to attract someone in the first place.....
Concerts, dinners, the grocery aisle, through friends. Lots of gym time, yoga, art shows, professional functions, school, riding a bicycle. You have to get out. I don't own a television.
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
I filed for divorce ending a 16 year relationship because of this. I was not a thing, I would not allow myself to be treated as such. I made this very clear to her before hand. Unfortunately it was like trying to explain algebra to a kitten, or she just didn't give a damn. I have never asked.
That's so sad and so funny at the same time. Women are stupid sometimes. I bet she still hasn't figured it out. It works both ways, of course, but if you denigrate the person you're with--what does that make you???
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:31 PM
 
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KaraZetterberg153, and your age is what?
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
KaraZetterberg153, and your age is what?
I love Matisse. Are you an artist?

And you never, ever, ask a woman her age.
 
Old 01-28-2018, 08:57 PM
 
9,511 posts, read 5,395,030 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
That's so sad and so funny at the same time. Women are stupid sometimes. I bet she still hasn't figured it out. It works both ways, of course, but if you denigrate the person you're with--what does that make you???
I have seen it in other women before. It's arrogance. Just where it comes from I don't know for sure but I think it runs along the lines of entitlement. Men do this too, it's a human condition it seems.
 
Old 01-28-2018, 09:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
I have seen it in other women before. It's arrogance. Just where it comes from I don't know for sure but I think it runs along the lines of entitlement. Men do this too, it's a human condition it seems.
Well it sure isn't love and it sure isn't loving. Run in the opposite direction!!! Easy to say, I know, but you can't get blood out of a stone, or love from a person who is not loving.
 
Old 01-28-2018, 09:03 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,693,227 times
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Multitude of reasons why some people don't find love.

Lack of the ability to connect.
Bad timing.
Lack of desire to find it or experience it.
Bad attitudes.
Bad location.
Etc.

The list goes on and on. There's no real universal concept that can be placed on relationships because they're such a highly individualized experience. No one knows what's going on in another person's personal life but that person. All of the things you listed you do can be left up to interpretation. Treating someone, the way you want to be treated is the only universal truth that can be applied here. Also this isn't a gender thing. People just suck sometimes.

*shrugs*
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