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And he's lying if he says he gets along 100% with his wife. People tell me stuff like that, I'm like, mmm, mkay.
I have been in a relationship (bad one) that had zero conflict. It was because I felt so
powerless that I never disagreed or openly questioned anything. There was always the unspoken
threat that he would leave if I didn't like the way things were and I was young and
stupid enough to allow that set up to keep him. Here is an example. I mentioned I was uncomfortable with his private lunches with female special friends. He tells me that it's unattractive to him when I am insecure and naggy. So I never mention it again.
So "no conflict" can be true but a sign that the wife does not ever speak her mind or disagree.
I feel the same way. I have spent A LOT of time researching certain subjects. You don't have to be an official "expert" to educate yourself. Wacko thinks you must be an MD to express any opinion on health. You must have certain financial credentials or your opinions on the stock market are worthless.
A lot of people these days are skeptical of authorities and like to research things online. There is nothing so unusual about me. But Wacko can't stand to hear it from me. Maybe because I'm a woman, I am not allowed to be smart? (His wife was raised as a Republican and never wavered for an instant. That tells me she is not really a thinking person.)
Wacko told me 90% of his assets are in equities, even though he is 66 years old. There is NO financial expert in the world who would ever advise that.
Do you tell him that he is wrong to have 90% of his assets in equity ???
I am trying to figure out if your discussions include you trying to tell others they are wrong.
That is very different than respecting their views and also having your own.
I have been in a relationship (bad one) that had zero conflict. It was because I felt so
powerless that I never disagreed or openly questioned anything. There was always the unspoken
threat that he would leave if I didn't like the way things were and I was young and
stupid enough to allow that set up to keep him. Here is an example. I mentioned I was uncomfortable with his private lunches with female special friends. He tells me that it's unattractive to him when I am insecure and naggy. So I never mention it again.
So "no conflict" can be true but a sign that the wife does not ever speak her mind or disagree.
This is Wacko's second wife, and they are together over 10 years. Wifey inherited money, so she probably doesn't need Wacko financially. Maybe she really loves him? But no conflict at all, ever?
I have noticed that Wacko is not very concerned with accuracy, so he could be exaggerating. Trying to make me think his conflicts with me are my fault.
He has told me that Wifey is on antidepressants. This was supposedly because of her first husband, who was mentally abusive. But why does she still need them if life with Wacko is so wonderful?
This is Wacko's second wife, and they are together over 10 years. Wifey inherited money, so she probably doesn't need Wacko financially. Maybe she really loves him? But no conflict at all, ever?
I have noticed that Wacko is not very concerned with accuracy, so he could be exaggerating. Trying to make me think his conflicts with me are my fault.
He has told me that Wifey is on antidepressants. This was supposedly because of her first husband, who was mentally abusive. But why does she still need them if life with Wacko is so wonderful?
Honestly it sounds like your interest in Wacko is way beyond "band member"
Good4Nothin - Reading your original post, although you've been a target, I'd say that you weren't born that, and there is hope and the possibility for another way, with relief. Sometimes we're cursed a bit by where we are, the region we deal with, and the unfortunate "bad mix" of varying people and personalities clashing. In other words, it's more of a combination of people and the environment, rather than the fault of you or a specific person.
I'm a musician too. I've had good relationships with other musicians, but some head-butting too. The difficult people have been very talented, but not leaving enough space for other's thinking.
Why would you make things up like that? I am physically UNattracted to him, quite intensely. And I have a BF.
See your wording?
You said "make something up like that".
Nobody is making anything UP.
We are expressing our experienced, objective opinion of the facts that you presented. And the "emotion" in your descriptions.
OPINION. I expressed the same opinion around 100 replies ago.
No disrespect intended but are you anywhere on the autism spectrum?
That's how it "feels" to me.
And this interest in the man's WIFE and relationship is totally out of line for someone who's "just" interested in playing music with two guys. At age...what? 65? 66?
The condescending name calling "wifey". The history of her marriages and depression and medication.
STOP. Go write a song or something. Do MUSIC. You say you have a boyfriend. Are your communications normal with him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
This is Wacko's second wife, and they are together over 10 years. Wifey inherited money, so she probably doesn't need Wacko financially. Maybe she really loves him? But no conflict at all, ever?
I have noticed that Wacko is not very concerned with accuracy, so he could be exaggerating. Trying to make me think his conflicts with me are my fault.
He has told me that Wifey is on antidepressants. This was supposedly because of her first husband, who was mentally abusive. But why does she still need them if life with Wacko is so wonderful?
This is Wacko's second wife, and they are together over 10 years. Wifey inherited money, so she probably doesn't need Wacko financially. Maybe she really loves him? But no conflict at all, ever?
I have noticed that Wacko is not very concerned with accuracy, so he could be exaggerating. Trying to make me think his conflicts with me are my fault.
He has told me that Wifey is on antidepressants. This was supposedly because of her first husband, who was mentally abusive. But why does she still need them if life with Wacko is so wonderful?
Why does his relationship with his wife matter ??
He either treats you with respect or he doesn't.
If I get treated wrong by someone it makes no difference to me if they treat
everyone this way or if I am the "lucky" one or first.
Are you thinking if he treats her bad then it's okay that he treats you bad ??
Or if he doesn't treat her bad it's okay that he treats you bad.
What does it matter how he treats her ??
Why does his relationship with his wife matter ??
He either treats you with respect or he doesn't.
If I get treated wrong by someone it makes no difference to me if they treat
everyone this way or if I am the "lucky" one or first.
Are you thinking if he treats her bad then it's okay that he treats you bad ??
Or if he doesn't treat her bad it's okay that he treats you bad.
What does it matter how he treats her ??
I am thinking that if he is capable of being respectful to his wife, he should be capable of being respectful to me.
He claims they never argue, ever, about anything. Making it seem like he's a peaceful person. And that I am the one who has a problem.
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