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Old 02-12-2018, 04:24 AM
 
10,599 posts, read 17,847,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Transgirl88 View Post
I'm also bisexual but I guess it doesn't matter because I'm a loner and never been in a romantic relationship and only had intimate interactions 3 times in my 29.5 year life.

I'll give my two cents worth(or rather 1 cent worth) of input. I think that people get turned off by bisexuals because they maybe concerned that the bisexual person would not be entirely satisfied dating them because they are attracted to both and may seek polygamous lifestyle to satisfy their bisexuality.

I'm sure if they are assured you do not have any STDs and are a loyal monogamous person(if that's how they roll too) then your chances in finding a romantic partner that fully accepts you would be higher.

Again what the hell do I know about romantic relationships I never had one.. and most likely NEVER will lol!
You know a lot.

100% accurate.

Can't just pick one.

If there is a generalization, it's that you won't typically see males EVER give up the M part of the Bi. I've never known an Bi man who was in a serious long term monogamous relationship and usually in an open one. Some people say a Bi male will outgrow the F part and eventually identify as gay. *shrug

There's a conflict between the sexual orientation and the psychological orientation.

Also, casual recreational sex is much different than romantic focused "relationship" sex.

Ever see Bianca Del Rio's act? She asks the straight girls "Are you a Lesbian?" "No." "Not even in college?"

LOL

Remember that phony Gaga claiming to be Bi? At the same time, telling Barbara Walters she would DEFINITELY marry a man? She was a mercenary, only interested in solidifying her LGBT fanbase. We NEVER saw her with a girl EVER.

Now this brings to mind about the common circumstance of transgender women who identify as Lesbians. But that's another different but interesting discussion. And like Chaz, they've usually floated through a couple stages of LGBT before the T realization.

The Brain wiring: Weird. In both the traditional straight and LGBT world. And not just on this topic LOL.

What about the stereotype brain that women seek relationships and a lot of men are driven to not be monogamous.

I think the best course of action is for Bi people to seek out other experienced mature Bi people but it is crappy to wonder if you'll "ever find" that romantic relationship that is satisfying to the point of monogamy.

Not for any even "ethical or moral" reasons but just the fact that relationships are HARD no mater what. And WHO in the world has the time and energy to focus on more than ONE at a time. (not talking to YOU, Cody Brown!)

Just like mature gay men generally don't want to get involved with newly minted out of the closet gay men, it's a good idea to avoid all other newbies for Bi people, too, IMO. Considering all people lie to themselves let along others.

Remember girls' famous last words: "I thought he'd change".

Last edited by runswithscissors; 02-12-2018 at 04:37 AM..
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Old 02-12-2018, 06:46 AM
 
10,599 posts, read 17,847,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeCastro View Post
This being bi stuff really really sucks. When you say you are bisexual, most people don't even believe you because they think that males can't be bi. Bi people aren't accepted the same way that gays are. I know I can just "pretend" to be straight but why should I? Why isn't there a strong community of bisexuals the way there is for gays? I have never been with a partner that fully accepted me. I just worry I may miss out on true love. People say I should just not tell the partners I am with that I am bi, but why should I have to be with someone who doesn't fully accept me? I already get crap because I am not attracted to my own race so the last thing I need is crap for being bi. I wish I knew what straight people feel like....what it feels like to bring someone you love home to your family and they actually accept them...what it is like to be accepted by most of society. I don't know what I am trying to say really....just needed to vent.
What you're saying is that Bi is not conducive for monogamy.

By definition.

You don't seriously expect a partner to "fully accept you" when you require sex from a different bodied gender do you?

BEING Bi means you can't be monogamous.

Maybe you believe that you can "fall in love" and "change". Unlikely at this point.

Nothing is stopping you from bringing people home. Nothing about this has to do with "the rest of society". LGBT is popular now. Trendy. LOL

Examine the real problem.

(Not a criticism - just a fact - see my previous post)
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Old 02-12-2018, 07:40 AM
 
4,927 posts, read 2,887,350 times
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Yeah, it sounds like a terrible thing to admit, I suppose, but as another poster mentioned, I don't want a man who wants another man. I could be your friend, but not girlfriend. Perhaps that's just some psychobiological construct operating at a level below consciousness, having to do with tribal ties or loyalties, I don't know.

At the same time, I don't wish for you to suffer. It really is a conundrum.
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Old 02-12-2018, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Kansas
25,792 posts, read 21,949,801 times
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I would think another "bi" would be the most appropriate match. As others have stated, I think very often the concern would be that the sexual needs/desires could not be satisfied by one partner, which would make it a different situation than other types of relationships.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:00 AM
 
Location: TN/NC
34,944 posts, read 31,087,664 times
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On paper, if you're with someone, you're with them, and there is always temptation out there, whether you are bi or not.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serious Conversation View Post
On paper, if you're with someone, you're with them, and there is always temptation out there, whether you are bi or not.
This is very true, on paper and in reality.

In reality, though, someone who is bi on paper can want both, and in reality one person can never be "both." My experience mirrors that of runswithscissors: I have never known a bi person who settled down with an opposite-sex partner. Those who did commit ended up with a same-sex person.

In my experience, that is what spooks many straight people from dating bi people - the idea that they will never be enough. So it does indeed narrow what would seem to be a wider dating pool.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:55 AM
 
4,927 posts, read 2,887,350 times
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I was thinking about this some more. It seems to me that if OP feels badly about not ever having a traditional relationship or bringing a loved one home to meet family (I'm not convinced that will never happen), why not focus on other things, things that *will* happen versus the things that won't?

For myself, I can get really sad and tearful if I start ruminating over the sort of traditional things (that aren't going to happen for me, either). In my experience it is more productive to shift my mental focus to those more positive things that I *can* accomplish and enjoy. Professional achievements, relationships with students, and ongoing learning in so many areas.

So, focus on the good stuff and not what you don't have.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post

So, focus on the good stuff and not what you don't have.
Based on his posting history, that is not a strategy that has occurred to the OP.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:48 AM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,662,335 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
BEING Bi means you can't be monogamous.
This is just not true, and very bigoted. Infidelity is a character issue.
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Old 02-12-2018, 11:12 AM
 
447 posts, read 485,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
This is just not true, and very bigoted. Infidelity is a character issue.
Zentropa, I agree with you.

To the other poster- I'm bisexual woman and I'm with my husband for over 20 years, without any infidelity. We just know, we are here for each other and love each other, simple :-)
My husband knows I'm bisexual, and it was never an issue between us. He's straight.
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