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One can have intimacy and a close bond without sex.
I think you avoided heartbreak because you avoid close bonds. Sex probably doesn't have that much to do with it.
Agree. However, the o.p. even thinking that a sexual relationship would engender a stronger bond is telling. Fraud post. The o.p. cares. They are not happy. You have true sociopaths that don't have the normal urges and desires of normal people. They don't start threads on C-D about it. They make national news headlines when they (eventually) go off the rails. O.p. I don't want to see you or your exploits on CNN Live. Please go and exercise your prostate the way G-d intended. For the good of us all.
No, I don't think so. Because Teresa is an Asian, and Asians are known for their strong sense of Duty to their families. It's part of their culture. So I believe that her Familial Duty would overshadow our relationship. I respect her for that.
One of the guys I used to dance with (when he lived in my area) married a woman from Thailand, and he told me the same thing. He thought it was a very refreshing change from the "American" approach to relationships. He went to Thailand with her before they were married and met her entire family, and it is a totally different concept of family than we have here.
Hitachi has a great magic wand massager!!!! It does NOT lie, no disease and works every time. ummmmmm
And when you are done with it, just toss it in a drawer (or in a box under the bed) until the next time you need it. No jealousy, no sponging or asking for $$, no cheating, no lying, no surprise kids popping up out of nowhere that were made 15-20 years earlier.
Boy, if they made men who could be controlled by simply flipping a switch...
Agree. However, the o.p. even thinking that a sexual relationship would engender a stronger bond is telling. Fraud post. The o.p. cares. They are not happy. You have true sociopaths that don't have the normal urges and desires of normal people. They don't start threads on C-D about it. They make national news headlines when they (eventually) go off the rails. O.p. I don't want to see you or your exploits on CNN Live. Please go and exercise your prostate the way G-d intended. For the good of us all.
Or maybe you can just leave this thread instead of making smart-ass comments. Once people are done kicking around the LBGTQ folks, they are going to start in on those of us who dare to believe that you don't "have to" have sex in order to have a good life. Or a good relationship, for that matter. Sexual intimacy has become so cheapened in our society that it's lost its other original purpose (besides making babies). The intimacy is gone, only the sex remains... people -ing like animals.
Maybe I am odd -- entirely possible! -- but for me, sexual relations and sexual attraction go in hand-in-hand, but this does not necessarily have anything to do with love. I am a 64-year-old female who has been married for 30+ years, and my husband and I love each other much and have always been faithful to each other, but in the past few years when we have tried to have sex, it has almost always resulted in failure, so I would just prefer that we save us both the frustration. Also, for the last few years, I have not felt "sexy" because I no longer look sexy, even though I am a size 8 and keep myself well-groomed, so attempts at sex that end in failure just make me feel even more undesirable.
I just think think that unless a woman is VERY lucky or she resorts to plastic surgery -- or she spends a LOT of time at the gym and is religious about sticking to a great skin care regimen -- most women just aren't sexually appealing/attractive after the age of 50 or so, and neither are most men. (Although it seems that if a man is physically fit and looks it, their good looks can last into their 70's.) All this is just my opinion, of course!
So, in short, I do love my husband and he loves me, but we don't exactly have the hots for each other any more, and I only miss the lack of sex sometimes.
Anyway, some of you might get a laugh out of the following --
Having gone beyond my middle age, I find that I prefer sexual abstinence. If I wanted to, I could use drugs to solve my prostate problem. But I prefer not. This way my mind is at peace rather than having urges that only frustrate and cause so much stress.
Even with my last girlfriend, I never felt the slightest desire for intimacy. I don't know how Teresa felt about it but since she never mentioned it, I presume she felt the same way. Anyway there are many other recreational activities that one can engage in socially so we never experienced boredom at all. The relationship would have still continued if she had not been called back to the Philippines to care for an ailing family member.
Although there is some feeling of disappointment at her departure, there is no heartbreak at all, which is obviously due to lack of intimacy. This is why I avoid intimacy because in case of separation it will prevent any heartbreak.
One does not need sex in order to express affection. It can be also done by holding hands or hugging,etc. Does anyone agree with me? Also do any of you others practice sexual abstinence too? And why?
Maybe I am odd -- entirely possible! -- but for me, sexual relations and sexual attraction go in hand-in-hand, but this does not necessarily have anything to do with love. I am a 64-year-old female who has been married for 30+ years, and my husband and I love each other much and have always been faithful to each other, but in the past few years when we have tried to have sex, it has almost always resulted in failure, so I would just prefer that we save us both the frustration. Also, for the last few years, I have not felt "sexy" because I no longer look sexy, even though I am a size 8 and keep myself well-groomed, so attempts at sex that end in failure just make me feel even more undesirable.
I just think think that unless a woman is VERY lucky or she resorts to plastic surgery -- or she spends a LOT of time at the gym and is religious about sticking to a great skin care regimen -- most women just aren't sexually appealing attractive after the age of 50 or so, and neither are most men. (Although it seems that if a man is physically fit and looks it, their good looks can last into their 70's.) All this is just my opinion, of course!
So, in short, I do love my husband and he loves me, but we don't exactly have the hots for each other any more, and I only miss the lack of sex sometimes.
Anyway, some of you might get a laugh out of the following --
Wow, yes men and women are still sexually appealing after 50 or else they would all curl up and die . My mother is 72 and still gets hit on by men. Just because you and your spouse have failure in that department and no "hots" for each other doesn't mean that everyone does. Don't project your failures on others , there are many marriages that are still going strong after 30 years and kudos to them!
Wow, yes men and women are still sexually appealing after 50 or else they would all curl up and die . My mother is 72 and still gets hit on by men. Just because you and your spouse have failure in that department and no "hots" for each other doesn't mean that everyone does. Don't project your failures on others , there are many marriages that are still going strong after 30 years and kudos to them!
Yes, I agree -- everyone is different, but MOST people do not look good after 50. Many do, but most don't. And, also, I repeatedly stressed that my opinion is just that -- my opinion! Opinion is not necessarily fact, but my opinion is based just on what I have observed and heard from others in my generation. But, again, my opinion might not be actual truth.
I also agree that people who can maintain sexual attractiveness and continue to have sexual relations are to be congratulated.
Yes, I agree -- everyone is different, but MOST people do not look good after 50. Many do, but most don't.
Most don't know.
However, thankyou for your honesty. Don't you think with you it is more the "being married for so long, have done everything there is to try" and you are just over it. If it has to do with looks you could just tunr the lights off.
I think your dynamic is the case in most marriages over 10 years. I have a hard time believing those people (on CD mostly) who are together forever and they still bone like bunnies. There may be a few but I think the majority has sex a few times per year or less.
I don't think in most cases it has to do with looks - people who are (no longer) attractive find other people who are (no longer) attractive, so that equals it out.
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