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I'm 26 and I've never had a girlfriend. I come from a dysfunctional family, have had major anxiety issues since I was a child and started having suicidal thoughts when I was 16. After hitting rock bottom when I was 22, I'm currently under medical surveillance even though I'm not taking meds at the moment (I don't when I am stable).
Needless to say, having a girlfriend has always been the last thing on my list. I don't think I would have ever had the mental availability that it requires. My mental health will always be precarious for the rest of my life and so any romantic relationships, although not forbidden, are not recommended.
From the outside, I'm a completely average Joe. Regular looks, go the gym, have a few hobbies, go out with my friends, etc. No one would ever suspect of anything.
I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day over a drink. He's the only one who knows what I've been through. We usually start talking about life after a few drinks haha. He asked if I don't ever feel sorry for never being able to have a relationship for the rest of my life.
I told him I have fully accepted my situation. It's completely devoid of emotion, it's a logical and practical decision.
Truth be told, it's a rather easy one for me since I don't exactly have a line up of women interested in me. I don't think I've ever noticed one looking at me.
Why is the power of acceptance looked upon as "bad" or negative by society when sometimes it's the best for everyone?
Why is the power of acceptance looked upon as "bad" or negative by society when sometimes it's the best for everyone?
It sounds like your friend just wants to make sure that you're living your best life, so to speak, rather than outright judging or pressuring you. All you have to say is, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm happy with my life the way it is."
I'm 26 and I've never had a girlfriend. I come from a dysfunctional family, have had major anxiety issues since I was a child and started having suicidal thoughts when I was 16. After hitting rock bottom when I was 22, I'm currently under medical surveillance even though I'm not taking meds at the moment (I don't when I am stable).
Needless to say, having a girlfriend has always been the last thing on my list. I don't think I would have ever had the mental availability that it requires. My mental health will always be precarious for the rest of my life and so any romantic relationships, although not forbidden, are not recommended.
From the outside, I'm a completely average Joe. Regular looks, go the gym, have a few hobbies, go out with my friends, etc. No one would ever suspect of anything.
I was having a conversation with my best friend the other day over a drink. He's the only one who knows what I've been through. We usually start talking about life after a few drinks haha. He asked if I don't ever feel sorry for never being able to have a relationship for the rest of my life.
I told him I have fully accepted my situation. It's completely devoid of emotion, it's a logical and practical decision.
Truth be told, it's a rather easy one for me since I don't exactly have a line up of women interested in me. I don't think I've ever noticed one looking at me.
Why is the power of acceptance looked upon as "bad" or negative by society when sometimes it's the best for everyone?
I have been pondering the same question for some time as well. I have been out of relationship for about a year and a half now and while I have been on many dates I havent found anyone that I could click with so at one point I just said to myself "**** it. I am just gonna kick back and do whatever I feel like". Yes, its harder financially living alone, sex life non-existent (Im too paranoid for hookups and one night stands) and overall I do feel sad sometimes because no one really cares about me that way. But other than that, things are pretty ok.
When I told my close friend about my shift of paradigm his take was that I took a stance of a defeated person. It is of course all a matter of perception and could be argued either way, but I dont care. I do me and it's my business how I do it.
Your friend is just curious about your mental awareness and direction.
As long as he wasn’t pushing an agenda or relating to you about it in a negative way I wouldn’t stress over it. It simply shows he has some form of personal investment towards you.
As far as why would someone care about what other do?
Everyone believes their way is the right way. It’s easier to deal in absolutes than it is to smear everything in greys
If you’re ok with not having romantic relationships, then I don’t see the problem. If you were horrible at tennis or just had no interest in tennis, I don’t think people would keep encouraging you to play tennis. Why should romantic relationships be any different?
It sounds like your friend just wants to make sure that you're living your best life, so to speak, rather than outright judging or pressuring you. All you have to say is, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm happy with my life the way it is."
THIS^
People are meddlers so don't concern yourself with that. You did write about this so something is on your mind. Deep down, do you really not want a girlfriend or do you think that due to who you are it would not be fair to that person?
It sounds like your friend just wants to make sure that you're living your best life, so to speak, rather than outright judging or pressuring you. All you have to say is, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm happy with my life the way it is."
People are meddlers so don't concern yourself with that. You did write about this so something is on your mind. Deep down, do you really not want a girlfriend or do you think that due to who you are it would not be fair to that person?
See, there's the difference. I don't see this situation in terms of what I want. My wants and needs are irrelevant here.
What matters is what is right and causes the less trouble and pain to everyone involved (including myself of course).
It sounds like your friend just wants to make sure that you're living your best life, so to speak, rather than outright judging or pressuring you. All you have to say is, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm happy with my life the way it is."
Oh yes I know that he wasn't saying that to annoy me. I just used it as an example.
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