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Old 03-11-2018, 02:54 PM
 
5,917 posts, read 4,194,647 times
Reputation: 16313

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
Some try to be experts about my body and what works, and NO ONE knows that but me, the owner of my body. No lab numbers, no MD's etc and certainly no person anywhere.
OK, but c'mon...you're talking about ONE person. There are indeed many, many experts (or call them what you want) on many other topics in the world. The fact that they may keep adjusting or adding to their knowledge base makes them MORE of an expert, not less of one.

 
Old 03-11-2018, 02:55 PM
 
5,917 posts, read 4,194,647 times
Reputation: 16313
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
That's definitely sometimes the case. It's either someone who's been back time and time again with different user names but who has the same specific problems, or it's someone who creates an unusual but plausible situation just to mess with the regulars. A lot of times people start out nice and helpful, but then realize that they're just wasting their time with a jerk who's messing around or has no interest in actual advice.
It seems to be more and more frequent recently, at least to my eyes.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
40,585 posts, read 39,242,198 times
Reputation: 77062
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
Some try to be experts about my body and what works, and NO ONE knows that but me, the owner of my body. No lab numbers, no MD's etc and certainly no person anywhere.
Great.

That doesn't mean there aren't experts out there on the millions of other topics besides "jaminhealth's body."
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:09 PM
 
2,224 posts, read 730,417 times
Reputation: 3405
P&OC? What's that, please?

I'm thinking that perhaps it's just not one that thing that inspires abusive responses but a myriad of things, including (in no particular order of importance):

1. There is a very broad range of things to which people are over-reactive, and if you push that button the back story can be rather powerful, whether it actually matches the intention of the other poster, or not. [I don't like being called snobbish, for example, just because I like classical music, read non-fiction and know something about art, ballet and poetry. Or worse, "snobby," which is arguably not even a word.]

2. Sometimes, if you own a business, rivals will attempt to destroy your reputation, for obvious reasons, and employ all sorts of devious means to do this, especially if you're in direct competition with them. This is more common than you would think and there have been several books written about it.

3. The self-esteem of people is frequently offended if someone has accomplished, or even attempted to accomplish, something which they were too timid to try, or tried and failed to do. As a result, they try to put the person down in a misguided attempt to feel better about themselves.

4. Some people operate from a self-defined position of authority, constantly handing out advice as if they were fonts of wisdom when in fact they're not: this is particularly annoying to those of us who are--or think they are--genuine fonts of wisdom, with neither side really having a clue how useless and ordinary they actually are.

5. Many people (80%?) are genuinely kind and well-meaning, but about half of those do not process language well enough or think deeply enough to be of use to anyone when it comes to verbal expression of ideas. Most of us fall into this category and those who don't are often resented.

6. Some people are malevolent. In the mental health forum I just recently ran headlong into this notion of Machiavellian ("mach")/narcissistic/psychopathy which apparently is a thing now called The Dark Triad:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

And people are proud of it, and admitting to it. I find this neither attractive nor amusing.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:20 PM
 
5,676 posts, read 899,598 times
Reputation: 14846
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
One person's "blunt" is another person's "insulting," apparently.
Just want to clarify is that I think that MOST of the time, my bluntness only applies to my opinions on a subject -- not to someone's else's post or opinion about it. For example, I am very blunt in stating that I think that most televangelists are hypocrites and/or crooks, and that I think that people who give to them are gullible and stupid -- but I won't say to Poster QXFW, "QXFW, I think it was stupid that you gave $5,000 to Rev. Greedy." So, yeah, maybe I am insulting everyone who has given to these vultures, but I don't scold any poster(s) in particular for doing so -- and I certainly won't scold anyone for making a serious error in their personal lives. (Which ties in with my dislike of people who continue to "kick people when they're already down", to use a cliche'.)

P.S. to Everyone: Thanks for all the replies -- glad I'm just not being paranoid!
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:22 PM
 
5,676 posts, read 899,598 times
Reputation: 14846
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraZetterberg153 View Post
P&OC? What's that, please?

I'm thinking that perhaps it's just not one that thing that inspires abusive responses but a myriad of things, including (in no particular order of importance):

1. There is a very broad range of things to which people are over-reactive, and if you push that button the back story can be rather powerful, whether it actually matches the intention of the other poster, or not. [I don't like being called snobbish, for example, just because I like classical music, read non-fiction and know something about art, ballet and poetry. Or worse, "snobby," which is arguably not even a word.]

2. Sometimes, if you own a business, rivals will attempt to destroy your reputation, for obvious reasons, and employ all sorts of devious means to do this, especially if you're in direct competition with them. This is more common than you would think and there have been several books written about it.

3. The self-esteem of people is frequently offended if someone has accomplished, or even attempted to accomplish, something which they were too timid to try, or tried and failed to do. As a result, they try to put the person down in a misguided attempt to feel better about themselves.

4. Some people operate from a self-defined position of authority, constantly handing out advice as if they were fonts of wisdom when in fact they're not: this is particularly annoying to those of us who are--or think they are--genuine fonts of wisdom, with neither side really having a clue how useless and ordinary they actually are.

5. Many people (80%?) are genuinely kind and well-meaning, but about half of those do not process language well enough or think deeply enough to be of use to anyone when it comes to verbal expression of ideas. Most of us fall into this category and those who don't are often resented.

6. Some people are malevolent. In the mental health forum I just recently ran headlong into this notion of Machiavellian ("mach")/narcissistic/psychopathy which apparently is a thing now called The Dark Triad:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

And people are proud of it, and admitting to it. I find this neither attractive nor amusing.
Good post -- and "P&OC" refers to the CD forum, "Politics and Other Controversies".
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:22 PM
 
5,917 posts, read 4,194,647 times
Reputation: 16313
Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
Just want to clarify is that I think that MOST of the time, my bluntness only applies to my opinions on a subject -- not to someone's else's post or opinion about it. For example, I am very blunt in stating that I think that most televangelists are hypocrites and/or crooks, and that I think that people who give to them are gullible and stupid -- but I won't say to Poster QXFW, "QXFW, I think it was stupid that you gave $5,000 to Rev. Greedy." So, yeah, maybe I am insulting everyone who has given to these vultures, but I don't scold any poster(s) in particular for doing so -- and I certainly won't "scold" anyone for making a serious error in their personal lives. (Which ties in with my dislike of people who continue to "kick people when they're already down", to use a cliche'.)

P.S. to Everyone: Thanks for all the replies -- glad I'm just not being paranoid!
Good point! I can see how that distinction might get lost many times.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:40 PM
 
Location: in my mind
4,691 posts, read 6,278,800 times
Reputation: 9330
I've spent time on various forums over the years. In the time I've been on C-D, my impression is that it is a lower-empathy forum, in general. Its more a place for people to share opinions, and to enjoy disagreeing with and confronting others, and asserting ones views as correct, than to share understanding, compassion, and empathy with others.

I don't think this is exclusive to C-D though. I think that in very large, open forums, this is how things tend to be.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 03:41 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 1,028,833 times
Reputation: 2679
Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
Just want to clarify is that I think that MOST of the time, my bluntness only applies to my opinions on a subject -- not to someone's else's post or opinion about it. For example, I am very blunt in stating that I think that most televangelists are hypocrites and/or crooks, and that I think that people who give to them are gullible and stupid -- but I won't say to Poster QXFW, "QXFW, I think it was stupid that you gave $5,000 to Rev. Greedy." So, yeah, maybe I am insulting everyone who has given to these vultures, but I don't scold any poster(s) in particular for doing so -- and I certainly won't scold anyone for making a serious error in their personal lives. (Which ties in with my dislike of people who continue to "kick people when they're already down", to use a cliche'.)

P.S. to Everyone: Thanks for all the replies -- glad I'm just not being paranoid!
I know I say my opinions directly, or bluntly. It is not meant as an insult to anyone, but some people take it that way. For example, I have expressed my opinion on statin drugs in the health forum and some people got very offended.

Recently I described how higher education can go awry. Some people got offended, and insisted I was lying, that I didn't get a Ph.D., my story wasn't true, etc.

In general, it seems that if you criticize something respected, like higher education or the medical system, for example, someone will resent that.

Ok, fine, if you want to get upset and disagree. But there is no reason to be insulting.

I also sometimes argue at a blog, unrelated to CD, where the author is a devout atheist, who I often disagree with. I have been called an idiot there many times, just because I argue against their atheism. I realize, at that blog, I am running into the fire and expecting not to get burned.

But my point is, the way people argue is often by insulting rather than by reasoning. I guess it's easier that way.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 04:13 PM
 
2,224 posts, read 730,417 times
Reputation: 3405
>> Recently I described how higher education can go awry. Some people got offended, and insisted I was lying, that I didn't get a Ph.D., my story wasn't true, etc.

Well, that was me, and I'm sorry, but you don't write like an academic. Really. You don't. Not saying that's bad or good, but could that be why you ran into trouble? Language, professional language especially, is important.

Academic language has to do with the back story, what have you read? And the answer should be, everything. Or at least everything in your field. You are expected to know this stuff. If you don't fit in, it may be because of that.
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