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Old 03-11-2018, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Southern California
20,806 posts, read 6,961,546 times
Reputation: 13998

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katzpur View Post
I know there are such folks, but I feel that they're in the minority. People disagree with me all the time. I don't get all upset with them. Mean people are something else. It's really not hard to spot someone who's mean and, as far as I'm concerned, there's really very little excuse for it.
I get attacked with my opinions but even offering an olive branch is denied. But I will still offer something to these folks if they are looking for some support. So much anger, maybe too that's what so many meds do.

 
Old 03-11-2018, 05:47 PM
 
209 posts, read 103,320 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I get attacked with my opinions but even offering an olive branch is denied. But I will still offer something to these folks if they are looking for some support. So much anger, maybe too that's what so many meds do.
Yep, I agree that meds can lead to this buttt anger and hatred on a constant basis suppress our being able to think and shuts down or overrides our frontal cortex (that's where you get a lobotomy to make you brainless - hatred on a constant basis is a non-surgical lobotomy). This leave us with anger and hatred because we're so brainless, nothing override or compensates for being able to reason with our own beliefs.

Ignore the attackers. I had to ignore someone I thought some years ago was a friend. She just volunteered to get together with us and there's no time. I was pissed off with how superficial she was. I responded in a frank but nice way saying exactly what happened. I wished her luck and happiness here and said we already found it going home where we were accepted and had memories to build upon with those who knew and accepted us and looked forward to going to the bike-riding Fire Island in NY.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 05:54 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 1,028,833 times
Reputation: 2679
It depends on how you disagree with someone. It can be respectful, or not. If we post a question, we are not asking everyone to agree with us. We want honest opinions, as long as they are respectful.

I think everyone is capable of being unkind, no matter what we tell ourselves. We could be in a bad mood one day and looking for someone to take it out on. So it just has to happen at times. But we should always at least try to be respectful.

I have spent too much time at forums and blogs ever since the whole thing started, 25 or so years ago. It's a way to learn things and get other points of view. It is irresistible. But I have been called an idiot or worse so many times, just because my opinions are not always mainstream.

Instead of wondering if what we have been told about statins, for example, is entirely true, some people will lash out because you dared to question the "experts."
 
Old 03-11-2018, 05:55 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,199 posts, read 649,451 times
Reputation: 1605
Some people on here are mean. Or accuse you of being a troll. That’s happened to me so many times. I think if I read something and thought the person was lying than I just wouldn’t talk to them. Instead these ppl gang up on you and accuse you of lying and being a troll. Its really annoying especially when you have a problem and want advice. Or if you talk about your life and it’s just your life but others don’t believe you.

I love this place and have met nice ppl on here who have been really nice to me. But then there are rude posters who follow you around and accuse you of lying and being a fake.

Another thing I have noticed is that if you mention that you don’t have much money or are poor then city data will never let you forget it. If you are poor they think you should never have fun, never buy nothing, never date or anything because they think you should only be working or going to school. Nothing else. And they never let you forget it either
But the mean troll comments are the worse

If you think someone is trolling or lying why say anything??
 
Old 03-11-2018, 05:58 PM
 
1,089 posts, read 462,075 times
Reputation: 1852
Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting).
It is like that on all message boards now. My favorites are the ones where the moderators have become this way. I truly don't understand it. I want to discuss things on message boards. It is like some people come to the board not to have discussions but to make pity "house" type burns.

It is so sad. They probably don't have much to say.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Southern California
20,806 posts, read 6,961,546 times
Reputation: 13998
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilyFoxSeaton View Post
It is like that on all message boards now. My favorites are the ones where the moderators have become this way. I truly don't understand it. I want to discuss things on message boards. It is like some people come to the board not to have discussions but to make pity "house" type burns.

It is so sad. They probably don't have much to say.
I'm on two other boards and nothing like this one. They are pretty slow I might add. The ones who do the attacking as I've checked profiles, tell nothing about themselves. Interesting .... People!!!

One thing about C=D it's busy and a lot of options if one wants to get "light" and enjoy some music. J
 
Old 03-11-2018, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
16,799 posts, read 10,317,791 times
Reputation: 36267
Quote:
Originally Posted by whocares811 View Post
Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting). I have noticed this not only toward my own posts, but to many other posters, as well -- posters I can rely on being reasonable, nice and pleasant at least 99% of the time will often have very unkind things, imo, said to them in reply. The weird thing is that I don't think that most of the hostile people are trolls, necessarily, but they just seem to enjoy making others feel bad about themselves.

Do you agree or not? And if you do agree, why do you think those people do that?

(And, yes, it is easy to say "just ignore them", but I am the type that takes things to heart, and an unkind comment can spoil the rest of my day -- or at least an hour or so of it.)



*The exception is on Current Events and P&OC forums sometimes, in which I am very opinionated and often blunt, although I try very hard to never be actually insulting to other posters.
While I am generally a kind person in person, I have to admit that I can be a little testy on forums. Has nothing to do with the anonymity , but more to do with me reading something someone posted and feeling I need to be honest with them. Also, if someone is posting something to simply irritate others (happens all the time on the political forum), I will counter with some terse reply.

I think you have to have a certain degree of thick skin to participate on internet forums. They aren't for the weak at heart. If I took every cruel thing that was posted toward me on here, I would be crazy, but when that happens it just makes me more determined to not let it get to me.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 07:38 PM
 
Location: So Ca
14,590 posts, read 14,095,095 times
Reputation: 12518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katzpur View Post
Mean people are something else. It's really not hard to spot someone who's mean and, as far as I'm concerned, there's really very little excuse for it.
More than once I've wondered about what these people must be like IRL. Probably exactly as awful as they are on this forum...most of them use a great deal of projection.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 07:43 PM
 
209 posts, read 103,320 times
Reputation: 389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
It depends on how you disagree with someone. It can be respectful, or not. If we post a question, we are not asking everyone to agree with us. We want honest opinions, as long as they are respectful.

I think everyone is capable of being unkind, no matter what we tell ourselves. We could be in a bad mood one day and looking for someone to take it out on. So it just has to happen at times. But we should always at least try to be respectful.

I have spent too much time at forums and blogs ever since the whole thing started, 25 or so years ago. It's a way to learn things and get other points of view. It is irresistible. But I have been called an idiot or worse so many times, just because my opinions are not always mainstream.

Instead of wondering if what we have been told about statins, for example, is entirely true, some people will lash out because you dared to question the "experts."
I'm seeing that more and more these days and it comes from the top. In info tech, our job was to question and come up with an alternate solution. That was never an attack. It was analyzing and reasoning.

The world would be boring without differing views. I'm sorry you've been called an idiot. Yep, we're here for varying opinions and we form our own. I agree that depending on how much sleep I've had, my answer may differ but I don't attack. That's just not how I grew up. I don't follow the leader and am not mainstream either . Mod cut.
We're on the same wavelength. If you have a different opinion from mine, that's great. I'll look at it and think about it and agree or disagree but NEVER EVER by attacking. As you said, "But we should always at least try <I'd delete the word "try" and say> and be respectful."

Again, I'm sorry you've been attacked so much. You don't know who we are and what our backgrounds are. But you can tell a bit about our characters by how we respond.

I hope things change for you. I hope things change for those who attack.

In Peace.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-11-2018 at 10:11 PM.. Reason: Discussing forum moderation.
 
Old 03-11-2018, 07:44 PM
 
3,552 posts, read 1,028,833 times
Reputation: 2679
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
While I am generally a kind person in person, I have to admit that I can be a little testy on forums. Has nothing to do with the anonymity , but more to do with me reading something someone posted and feeling I need to be honest with them. Also, if someone is posting something to simply irritate others (happens all the time on the political forum), I will counter with some terse reply.

I think you have to have a certain degree of thick skin to participate on internet forums. They aren't for the weak at heart. If I took every cruel thing that was posted toward me on here, I would be crazy, but when that happens it just makes me more determined to not let it get to me.
I agree that we have to expect things to get rough on forums. Whenever people get into debates, in real life also, emotions get involved.

But sometimes it goes to extreme here. Then the OP can start to feel they're being mobbed.

I have been a regular on blogs and forums where I was a minority of one. It's more challenging than hanging out where everyone thinks just like you. That would not be interesting to me. So I crash an atheist forum where everyone is so smug and happy about their atheism, which they are absolutely certain is true. These people are smarter than God.

That is a challenge to me, and I learn a lot from it, and I don't mind if they get riled up and insult me.

Or when people are absolutely sure that mainstream medicine is always wonderful, always based on scientific evidence. They can get extremely angry if you challenge that faith.

In those cases I know I will be attacked and insulted, so I just try to be tough. I am there to teach and to learn.

But if I post a sincere question, let's say on the teachers' forum, because I recently started teaching, I don't really expect to be told my thinking is bizarre, because I curved the grades. I am looking for expert opinions, that are hopefully carefully thought out and based on experience.

Should you curve grades doesn't have a simple answer. It would be great to have a respectful discussion on pros and cons and when you should or shouldn't. But when I am told my thinking is bizarre, that throws everything off, and then I say "same to you and many more," and we are back in the school yard. And no interesting discussion happens.
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