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Simple factual or logical posting demeanor can be mistaken for being aggressive when the poster in question is just here to post facts and not here to make friends.
On another note there are certain posters that tend to derail every thread with jokes and wisecracks. Being lighthearted is great, but some people seem to be incapable of serious discussion and have an ultra thin skin so they get offended at things others might not get offended at. I'd rather have more information thrown at me to get me to think and adapt my viewpoint, rather than censorship in the off chance I might get offended.
I love it when people throw a bucket of cold water on me and give me constructive criticism.. it's such a rare quality to find in people. They'd rather play pretend friendly and gossip about you behind their backs. Constructive feedback allows me to change, gives me different perspectives... people telling me what I want to hear.. not so much. Challenge me. I suppose this is why women don't like doormat men now that I think about it.
Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting). I have noticed this not only toward my own posts, but to many other posters, as well -- posters I can rely on being reasonable, nice and pleasant at least 99% of the time will often have very unkind things, imo, said to them in reply. The weird thing is that I don't think that most of the hostile people are trolls, necessarily, but they just seem to enjoy making others feel bad about themselves.
Do you agree or not? And if you do agree, why do you think those people do that?
(And, yes, it is easy to say "just ignore them", but I am the type that takes things to heart, and an unkind comment can spoil the rest of my day -- or at least an hour or so of it.)
*The exception is on Current Events and P&OC forums sometimes, in which I am very opinionated and often blunt, although I try very hard to never be actually insulting to other posters.
Kids aren't the only BULLIES and there are plenty of adults on CD that ARE.
Oh lordy dear one, you can't be thinned skinned on an open public forum. What you view as an attack others view as just the way they communicate. Try not to take it so personally. I'm know I've offended people on this site, it wasn't intentional. Communicating with written words is different from communicating in person. Many subtle nuances are missed. Yes, you will run into hateful, ignorant people, just like you will in real life. Make it their problem and don't give it a second thought. You can't give anyone the power to ruin one second of your life through negativity and ignorance. Kick that negativity to the curb where it belongs and train yourself to replace it with something positive.
Okay I'll tell you one of my secrets. Do not use this against me. LOL. I have about 100 episodes of The Andy Griffith show on my DVR. Sometimes I binge watch it when I've had a bad day. It always makes me feel happy. I love Mayberry
Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting). I have noticed this not only toward my own posts, but to many other posters, as well -- posters I can rely on being reasonable, nice and pleasant at least 99% of the time will often have very unkind things, imo, said to them in reply. The weird thing is that I don't think that most of the hostile people are trolls, necessarily, but they just seem to enjoy making others feel bad about themselves.
Do you agree or not? And if you do agree, why do you think those people do that?
(And, yes, it is easy to say "just ignore them", but I am the type that takes things to heart, and an unkind comment can spoil the rest of my day -- or at least an hour or so of it.)
*The exception is on Current Events and P&OC forums sometimes, in which I am very opinionated and often blunt, although I try very hard to never be actually insulting to other posters.
I've noticed that too. Not only "nice" posters, but new posters, posters who disclose too much of their own vulnerability, posters who do not "conform", posters who make a typographical error, or, although they actually know better, some how transpose "their" for "there" - that appears to discredit entire posts.
In my ten years on City Data, I have seen bullying, been bullied, and defended those who were bullied.
There appear to be commonalities among those who bully. There are cliques here. There are people who meet with opposition no matter how innocuous their post, and their are those who have followings. Sort of like teenagers in films such as "Mean Girls" or "Carrie".
I'd say that these folks have a sadistic streak. Which is colloquial for saying that I think they are probably sociopaths. And sadists. That's my educated guess.
Why would I write in an academic style at this forum? Why would I provide a reference list? That makes no sense at all.
And I sure as heck don't talk like an academic. That's the last thing I want to sound like. I did, though, while I was there. I learned the slightly snooty way of talking, so I could fit in. I did everything possible to fit in, and I did, and I graduated.
Now I am talking about it here, in a completely different context. I don't know why I or anyone would make this all up and lie about it. What a stupid waste of time that would be.
I agree that it would be a stupid waste of time. But it would be naive to think it's not prevalent, because it is. Just not in your case, I guess.
What threw me off is this notion that you can use one style of writing as a common practice but have another, distinctively different academic style for work, you might say. Good writing--and clear thinking--is not, to my mind, something you can turn on and off as the occasion demands. It is an integral part of who you are. But you characterized the work language as "snooty" and criticized events that are really a function of your distaste for the whole matter.
I agree that it would be a stupid waste of time. But it would be naive to think it's not prevalent, because it is. Just not in your case, I guess.
What threw me off is this notion that you can use one style of writing as a common practice but have another, distinctively different academic style for work, you might say. Good writing--and clear thinking--is not, to my mind, something you can turn on and off as the occasion demands. It is an integral part of who you are. But you characterized the work language as "snooty" and criticized events that are really a function of your distaste for the whole matter.
Academic writing is completely different from informal writing on a forum. No comparison. For one thing, when you write an academic paper you go over and over it many times and make sure everything is perfect. WHY would we do that here? We can't spend our lives re-writing and perfecting our forum comments!
TabulaRosa summed it up perfectly. Too many people get offended over simple logical comments where no offense is intended. Probably because we don't spend a lot of time re-writing and perfecting our comments (see what I did there). Honest feedback gets interpreted as hostility and attacks. Makes it very hard to hold a good discussion when everything get's interpreted through the lens of "they disagree therefore they are attacking."
Not every one that participates on CDF is a nice person
Just because you are accused of saying something wrong does not mean you did
“No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.”
Plato
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