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Hard to believe but I've had this toxic friend from way back in 1971 and we still go on excursions every week.
What makes him toxic is his sarcasm and insults and obsession with serial killers and cannibals. He likes to graphically describe how the body parts are dismembered and eaten. He actually defends them but he says he just likes to push my buttons. So I guess I have to tolerate.
He's sarcastic and his insults are quite straightforward. Many times, he comes out directly and calls me an Idiot. On the other hand, there are many times where he realized the insult was totally uncalled for and he apologizes. So he has a good side too.
Actually,he has a very good side because many times when I needed a favor, he was the only one that would drop everything to come help me out. He's made quite a number of sacrifices for me.
During the 1970s we used to meet only once a month. But nowadays we meet every week and on the same day each time. He's always there waiting for me at the designated location. In fact, I don't even have to phone him the day before to remind him because our weekly meetings are so ingrained.
So despite his cannibalistic obsession and his general toxicity, I greatly value his friendship. In fact, I would say without hesitation that he's the best friend I've ever had. Certainly the longest lasting one because it began in 1971.
So do you have any toxic friends that you keep and even appreciate? And what makes you keep them?
Opinion: "toxic" is an overused non-specific buzzword.
Definitions:
Friend: someone with whom a person has a bond of mutual affection, a companion, soulmate, confidant, alter ego, etc.
Toxic: poisonous, dangerous, virulent, injurious, deadly, noxious, etc.
Well, the interest in cannibalism is pretty scary. Snopes rebutted this false news story about a supposed restaurant in Tokoyo which was (legally) serving human flesh. The story was completely false:
But given that lots of folks, me included, won't touch any animal "foods" (no cows, pigs, chickens, veal, lamb, fish, dairy, etc.), that fake news story is horrific. They even have photographs. I nearly lost my lunch.
I wouldn't hang out with somebody who had an interest like that, no matter what they did for me.
He sounds like a weirdo. In college, I did have one "bff" who deep down kind of annoyed me, but he also accepted me as is (I'm disabled), and I think I needed that. He wasn't a psychopath. He just had an annoying sense of humor, annoying voice, good hygiene but didn't dress or shave flatteringly at all, and his ADHD was a bit challenging to be around.
We never kept in touch after college, and only then did I realize that this guy was a tad bit taxing. Maybe if you can ease out of this somehow (gracefully or otherwise), you'll feel tat same weight being lifted (but I think on a grander scale, tbh).
Good luck, and try to find what's actually best for you and no one else.
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