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Old 03-18-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Twilight Zone
950 posts, read 692,241 times
Reputation: 676

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Hard to believe but I've had this toxic friend from way back in 1971 and we still go on excursions every week.
What makes him toxic is his sarcasm and insults and obsession with serial killers and cannibals. He likes to graphically describe how the body parts are dismembered and eaten. He actually defends them but he says he just likes to push my buttons. So I guess I have to tolerate.

He's sarcastic and his insults are quite straightforward. Many times, he comes out directly and calls me an Idiot. On the other hand, there are many times where he realized the insult was totally uncalled for and he apologizes. So he has a good side too.

Actually,he has a very good side because many times when I needed a favor, he was the only one that would drop everything to come help me out. He's made quite a number of sacrifices for me.

During the 1970s we used to meet only once a month. But nowadays we meet every week and on the same day each time. He's always there waiting for me at the designated location. In fact, I don't even have to phone him the day before to remind him because our weekly meetings are so ingrained.

So despite his cannibalistic obsession and his general toxicity, I greatly value his friendship. In fact, I would say without hesitation that he's the best friend I've ever had. Certainly the longest lasting one because it began in 1971.

So do you have any toxic friends that you keep and even appreciate? And what makes you keep them?
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Old 03-18-2018, 02:39 PM
 
13,395 posts, read 13,505,661 times
Reputation: 35712
He's not toxic. You are gaining benefits from the relationship. What you're describing is a friend with strange idiosyncrasies.

Toxic is when there are no benefits and the person is inflicting harm in some way.
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Old 03-18-2018, 05:00 PM
 
Location: on the wind
23,297 posts, read 18,824,628 times
Reputation: 75297
Short answer: of course not.

Opinion: "toxic" is an overused non-specific buzzword.

Definitions:

Friend: someone with whom a person has a bond of mutual affection, a companion, soulmate, confidant, alter ego, etc.
Toxic: poisonous, dangerous, virulent, injurious, deadly, noxious, etc.

This isn't hard to figure out.
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Old 03-18-2018, 05:10 PM
 
4,927 posts, read 2,907,143 times
Reputation: 5058
Well, the interest in cannibalism is pretty scary. Snopes rebutted this false news story about a supposed restaurant in Tokoyo which was (legally) serving human flesh. The story was completely false:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/to...at-restaurant/

But given that lots of folks, me included, won't touch any animal "foods" (no cows, pigs, chickens, veal, lamb, fish, dairy, etc.), that fake news story is horrific. They even have photographs. I nearly lost my lunch.

I wouldn't hang out with somebody who had an interest like that, no matter what they did for me.
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Old 03-18-2018, 05:50 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,054,161 times
Reputation: 16753
There's no shaking my head emoji big enough for this.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
4,488 posts, read 1,642,981 times
Reputation: 4136
Quote:
obsession with serial killers and cannibals
I would feel uneasy being around someone like that.
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Old 03-18-2018, 06:38 PM
 
4,927 posts, read 2,907,143 times
Reputation: 5058
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hapa1 View Post
I would feel uneasy being around someone like that.
Right: he's talking about that stuff because it *interests him.* Watch out that you don't end up being LUNCH.

Last edited by KaraZetterberg153; 03-18-2018 at 07:17 PM..
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Old 03-18-2018, 09:10 PM
 
Location: western USA
675 posts, read 644,926 times
Reputation: 745
He sounds like a weirdo. In college, I did have one "bff" who deep down kind of annoyed me, but he also accepted me as is (I'm disabled), and I think I needed that. He wasn't a psychopath. He just had an annoying sense of humor, annoying voice, good hygiene but didn't dress or shave flatteringly at all, and his ADHD was a bit challenging to be around.

We never kept in touch after college, and only then did I realize that this guy was a tad bit taxing. Maybe if you can ease out of this somehow (gracefully or otherwise), you'll feel tat same weight being lifted (but I think on a grander scale, tbh).

Good luck, and try to find what's actually best for you and no one else.
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Old 03-18-2018, 09:13 PM
 
Location: TN/NC
35,072 posts, read 31,302,097 times
Reputation: 47539
I have a friend in my life that, while not toxic, is so weird as to be nothing but entertainment value.
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Old 03-18-2018, 10:44 PM
 
4,096 posts, read 6,216,301 times
Reputation: 7407
Yeah scary friend.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gOE-q20RcDM
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