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Hmmmm - I wonder how many people come to an open mic night with their instruments and chicken out? Meaning just showing up with an instrument is not 100% reliable in predicting if you'll end up playing.
So yes, probably a lot chicken out - YOU did, you just won't admit it to yourself.
No I wasn't scared at all. I got over that years ago.
But neither did you. You didn’t even bother to get your guitar out of the case and when asked if you were going to play you shrugged in a non commital way.
If there is one thing I’ve learned is if I don’t care about my time and my work nobody else will.
I never said I shrugged in a non committal way. Fred asked me, even though he could see Ned and Ted were playing non-stop. I made some kind of hand gesture to explain that I could not stop them.
It would have been Fred's job to keep things organized, but he spaced it out.
I think I see what you mean. The aggressive types will never change and become more considerate.
That's ^^^ not a fair statement either.
You're really good at casting yourself as a sympathetic victim when in reality you brought on this situation by
1) having expectations about "normal open mic etiquette"
This clearly wasn't a normal open mic situation.
and
2) not asserting yourself.
There's a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive, and you can stand up for your turn without being a jerk about it.
You expected the night to go one way, but when it did not, you did not change YOUR approach and instead wanted to be invited up to sing. When someone finally did give you the chance, you deferred. You made a choice.
It's obvious the guys tonight were not the most with-it folks to associate with. But you sat there letting your insecurities take hold the longer they droned on, and instead of making the most of your efforts, you wasted them and left in a huff.
Are we seriously to believe that Ned and Ted are "alpha male types"?
I am using that term very loosely. What I mean by it is people relatively low on empathy, relatively high on assertiveness. It could be men or women, often it's men.
I have had many conversations with men who NEVER ask anything about me. If I talk about myself, they quickly turn it back to them. They want to make sure you know about their great accomplishments. They are obviously low in empathy, and very focused on self-promotion.
So I am calling them alpha males, even though they might not be real first class alphas.
I am sort of glad I let them know I was not thrilled with how they acted. There was no other way I could have done it. If I tried to explain it to them, I would have said things I shouldn't say.
I hope that after I left they looked at each other and thought "Boy are we dopes. We never gave that lady a chance to play."
I never said I shrugged in a non committal way. Fred asked me, even though he could see Ned and Ted were playing non-stop. I made some kind of hand gesture to explain that I could not stop them.
It would have been Fred's job to keep things organized, but he spaced it out.
You made a “ who knows” gesture ,left your guitar in the case. I’m sorry but that just strikes me as not making an effort. Why not get your guitar out and when asked told Fred I’m waiting my turn
I am sort of glad I let them know I was not thrilled with how they acted. There was no other way I could have done it. If I tried to explain it to them, I would have said things I shouldn't say.
I hope that after I left they looked at each other and thought "Boy are we dopes. We never gave that lady a chance to play."
Next time you go get your guitar out and try and go first, and stop waiting for others to care.
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