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You're really good at casting yourself as a sympathetic victim when in reality you brought on this situation by
1) having expectations about "normal open mic etiquette"
this clearly wasn't a normal open mic situation.
And
2) not asserting yourself.
There's a huge difference between being assertive and being aggressive, and you can stand up for your turn without being a jerk about it.
You expected the night to go one way, but when it did not, you did not change your approach and instead wanted to be invited up to sing. When someone finally did give you the chance, you deferred. You made a choice.
It's obvious the guys tonight were not the most with-it folks to associate with. But you sat there letting your insecurities take hold the longer they droned on, and instead of making the most of your efforts, you wasted them and left in a huff.
I don't know where you got your information, definitely not from my post.
Fred asked if I was going to play, while Ned and Fred were taking turns and ignoring me. Quite a while later, Fred decided it was time to go.
I don't know how I could have stopped Ned and Fred from playing. It would have seemed very aggressive, and not my personality if I somehow got them to stop.
Learn to take advantage of openings like this. I'd wager that if you responded in the affirmative Fred would have told the other two it was time for you to play when the one currently playing finished. That eliminates the requirement you have a hard time acting on.
I know it can be tough to "stand up". Even though I am an extrovert - my wife says I've never met a stranger - there are times when I do exactly what you did. Most people do. The toughest part is recognizing that opportunity and using it.
Notice that Fred decided it was time to go. You responding in the negative told him that the night was over. Responding in the affirmative would have resulted in a longer session and the others would have enjoyed your performance. What you are not realizing is that they want to listen to you.
lol at the same long songs comment. Sounds like they need some fresh input. That is you.
So even when asked directly you made a noncommittal gesture? You could have sarcastically said "WTH would I bring my guitar unless I was going to play?!" That would have showed your anger, answered their question, and you probably could have passed it off as just sarcasm and nothing more negative.
But you played it passive aggressive. Did you want them to BEG you to play? Because they DID ask. See, I know that feeling and that anger. You're pissed at yourself because you don't think people like you and they don't act like they like you but you play the victim rather than just stand up and say - "Yeah - I'd like to see what you think of my songs." Because you were also afraid and were looking for an out so you'd have no chance of failing and would still get to be mad at THEM instead of yourself.
Exactly. The two guys who showed up don't deserve your anger. They didn't ignore you. They were confused by your behavior. If you insist on being angry with someone, look closer to home. Either way, nothing good will come of that.
OP those guys were jerks. Any normal person would have been mad.
Yes, he finally, begrudgingly, asked if you wanted to play. By then, I wouldn't have felt like playing either, as they definitely didn't want to share the stage and obviously weren't into being supportive. They probably would have talked loudly or gone to the bathroom or something while you played.
I spent a good part of my youth around musicians. This kind of situation is not unusual.
I hope you find some other busier, better run open mics and have some fun, and people enjoy your songs. That would be the best revenge on those twerps.
OP those guys were jerks. Any normal person would have been mad.
Yes, he finally, begrudgingly, asked if you wanted to play. By then, I wouldn't have felt like playing either, as they definitely didn't want to share the stage and obviously weren't into being supportive. They probably would have talked loudly or gone to the bathroom or something while you played.
I spent a good part of my youth around musicians. This kind of situation is not unusual.
I hope you find some other busier, better run open mics and have some fun, and people enjoy your songs. That would be the best revenge on those twerps.
Yes, exactly. I would have been even madder listening to them talk rudely while I was playing songs I wrote and had worked hard on.
I saw a concert with BIG bands known throughout the world and they almost cancelled it because only 25% showed up.
When they came on the said right off the bat "We played in front of 300,000 and a crowd of 1, you are somewhere in between" that lightened the mood and they played as if we were 300,000.
So why do you play? For your own well being because that is what you do. Maybe if you played your own material they might of thought, "This is original and really good" and you may have drawn some people in.
Next open mic go and interject yourself into the mix. You are there for yourself and for the other performers that just like people that like music.
You blew your chance. Grow up and get over it.
AND realize that your need for acknowledgement is part of an ego thing. Go about life and do good things. If no one notices you can at least be content with yourself and, if you believe there is a God, rest assured he is pleased.
Yes, exactly. I would have been even madder listening to them talk rudely while I was playing songs I wrote and had worked hard on.
Sour grapes - good job - you've talked yourself all the way around to how it's actually a very GOOD thing you didn't play! Ya got issues lady - including coming on here, helpfully telling us all exactly what we'll say to you (a preemptive attack made in hoping to innoculate yourself from the truth) and then soundly shooting all the advice down.
These are even guys you know because you've been around them all the other times you've been there - and you still couldn't do the exact thing you CAME there to do. So I don't think you really intended to play. You went because you'd rehearsed and wanted to give yourself credit but you were well prepared to come up with reasons why you couldn't play your new songs. This out of fear of not only exposing your musical ability but even worse, showing your own creative work and possibly facing negative feedback that would go to your very soul.
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