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I've seen this kind of thing, too; guys giving their gf a big hug, for example, while flirting with someone passing by, literally behind the gf's back.
The worst thing, is that I did not even break up with him that night. Glutton for punishment.
I've been outside all morning, shaking my hooters, screaming, "Tiddies OUT" and the fella next door won't even give one leering glance! I calculated and schemed for minutes and now my self esteem is plummeting. He just stands there, kissing his husband like I don't even exist.
I can't help but look either in such a situation and I am a straight woman. I make an effort not to stare.
Yes, I am a 59 year old heterosexual woman and I like to
look at a pretty woman as much as the next guy. But I think I am attracted by a pretty face, not a hot body.
I've been outside all morning, shaking my hooters, screaming, "Tiddies OUT" and the fella next door won't even give one leering glance! I calculated and schemed for minutes and now my self esteem is plummeting. He just stands there, kissing his husband like I don't even exist.
There have been tons of threads about this topic, ad nauseum.
BOTH women and men need to take responsibility for themselves. It's not JUST up to men to "not stare"--frankly, this is the most ridiculous advice I've ever heard. Women have a responsibility to dress in a manner that's befitting their values and morals. You know...if a guy wants to stare at my back end, he can stare all he wants. I don't have eyes in the back of my head. I don't even care if I turn around, and catch him staring, if he has the grace to look away quickly.
If women only project sexual attractiveness then that's the only way people will relate to them. If women want to be taken seriously and to have equality then stop putting your boobs and azz out there for everyone to see. I don't need to be taken seriously every minute of every day. I know how to dress appropriately for the situation. But that said, what you consider proper, and what I consider proper might be 2 different things, and frankly, I won't be necessarily taking your judgements too seriously either.
That's not going to get you any kind of equality or taken seriously. Women can squawk all they want about this little fact of life but it is what it is. I see a half-naked woman on top of a car with her bikini bottoms almost sliding off, well, what's there to take seriously there? What do you expect men to do? You are really, really naiive if you think you can show off your body and think men are going to take you seriously. Don't give me that crap about wanting to feel good about yourselves or feel sexy. You can do that in the privacy of your home. You're making some false equivalencies I think. If I'm wearing a bikini, I don't EXPECT for you to think I'm a rocket scientist. I mean...hey, I MIGHT be, but I KNOW the image I'm projecting isn't "I'm a scholar". I'm OK with that. You're allowed to look. Has anyone here actually SAID "Guys can't look at girls"? I don't think so.
Women can look attractive and feel good about themselves without showing everything in an overt manner. Why not wear a nice summer dress with a pair of sandals and a crocheted sweater on top to cover up in air conditioning? Why not wear a nice pair of capris and a pretty top? Do you really have to show your boobs and buttocks to feel good about yourself?
I have a lot of suspicions about that. I think women who do that, have ulterior motives, yet try to put the blame on men when they get unwanted attention. That's pretty low. Who's doing that? Do you understand what unwanted attention is? Unwanted attention is when a guy puts his hands on a woman, who has no 'right' to her. It's staring at a body part, when you should be looking at her face.
Telling men not to stare is a little lame. There's a difference between looking and staring. And there's a difference between getting caught staring (I'm sure that's happened to most guys) and continually gazing at a woman to the point of making her uncomfortable. That's called leering. Most of us have a problem with that. If you can't tell the difference between the 2, maybe it would behoove you to take some basic etiquette lessons.
That's kind of like putting the cart before the horse. The men don't know not to stare until they've already seen the woman.
That's ridiculous. Again, there's a difference between looking and staring. You should probably learn the difference.
Yes, I too have a good one now, but have dated guys who stared right in front of me. One ex, I was slow dancing with when I noticed he was actually silently flirting with a girl slow dancing behind us with someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
I've seen this kind of thing, too; guys giving their gf a big hug, for example, while flirting with someone passing by, literally behind the gf's back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
The worst thing, is that I did not even break up with him that night. Glutton for punishment.
Well, since guys usually know that I'm bi, they generally think it's ok to look and that I will look, too, so it's all good. And sometimes that is true. But I do prefer they aren't rude, and if it's a constant thing, eventually I'm gonna start feeling like "why am I even with you?" Like I appreciated the times when a guy I was with pointed out a woman who was the kind of look I liked to look at, maybe she had cool colored hair or tattoos or she was sporting some awesome goth fashion, she stood out for some reason. But when it was every...woman... In fact, I had a male friend/coworker, completely platonic, but we'd go out for lunch sometimes and he would be commenting on literally EVERY woman on the street. I got to a point I wanted to ask..."Dude, do we need to like...hire you someone, so that you can calm down, or what?"
But it still felt super cool to have my boyfriend, oh, I dunno, actually think about and care how I might feel. After having the complete opposite for so long, a man with some empathy?? Holy yoga pants, Batman! That's really something.
Yes, I am a 59 year old heterosexual woman and I like to
look at a pretty woman as much as the next guy. But I think I am attracted by a pretty face, not a hot body.
I'm a 60 yr. old hetero woman, and heck, a pretty picture is a pretty picture. I can admire and admit someone has a pretty form.
Heck, last weekend, my husband and I were in a Poker Run. He didn't hear who had won. So I told him, "you know the chick with the pony tail and the long legs? She won." He knew exactly who I was talking about. We're all supposed to pretend girls aren't pretty? Nobody said that.
Everybody's happy except entitled busy-bodies who need to tell other people what do do.
No, It's the guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, blame deflecting men.
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He just stands there, kissing his husband like I don't even exist.
