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i get the feeling that you resemble these characteristics to some extent, based on how you seem to be pidgeonholing people without knowing them in a more personal way
i don't mean this to be disrespectful but I am pointing it out as I think "projection" is a common tendency
another way to answer your question would be....Insecurity. people "play it safe" or behave in a stolid manner to 'keep things calm' or whatever because they fear the consequences of risk
it'd be a mistake to think it is exclusive to folks who go to church or may appear to you as 'scowling'. think broader than that
i get the feeling that you resemble these characteristics to some extent, based on how you seem to be pidgeonholing people without knowing them in a more personal way
i don't mean this to be disrespectful but I am pointing it out as I think "projection" is a common tendency
another way to answer your question would be....Insecurity. people "play it safe" or behave in a stolid manner to 'keep things calm' or whatever because they fear the consequences of risk
it'd be a mistake to think it is exclusive to folks who go to church or may appear to you as 'scowling'. think broader than that
Yes. I used to identify with these people very much. But in some ways I was a little more free thinking (if that makes sense) so I never really "fit" in completely. So I had to leave the community. Or not necessarily leave it, but just expand beyond it.
I think a lot of people are just afraid of the world and they really shouldn't be. I tend to think that all people are basically kind of the same inside, personally. But there are some (maybe more judging types in the Meyers Briggs system) who get used to things being a certain way, and they are either unable or afraid venture out beyond their safety zone. I can see that in their faces sometimes. It's kind of normal behavior, but it sort of bothers me that so many people are fearful to step outside their comfort zones.
Another example is that they refuse to listen to "worldly" music, or watch movies that are R-rated, or read books that are not approved by their church communities, etc. Maybe they had restrictive parents. I really don't know.
They might have a wild Girls Night Out. But you know that there would be absolutely no alcohol allowed. And no hemlines above the ankles.
A night out with the boys would be similar. No alcohol. Safe. Family friendly. They might discuss their particular religious texts and how to be a better representative of their particular guru or deity to their friends and family.
They might even hold such events in a more restricted setting, such as a person's home. Or a more family friendly environment. But not for the reasons most people would. It would be to protect them from "worldly" influences. Done out of "principle" rather than from how they feel like handling it at the time.
We all make choices as to the best way to live our lives, and that is their choice. They believe that they are living according to their faith. So, why is that any of your business, other than you feel like you "got out" and that you're better than they are?
We all make choices as to the best way to live our lives, and that is their choice. They believe that they are living according to their faith. So, why is that any of your business, other than you feel like you "got out" and that you're better than they are?
Interesting question. Part of it is that I think they are really misunderstanding their own faith origins. I "got out" because I finally understood the intent of the ancient religious texts, which, ironically to them, I think was all about breaking down those walls that are so easy to put up. Temple walls were a symbol in the texts. Walls which I am still guilty of putting up and reinforcing too often, since I still have a little bit of that old mentality myself.
I put that word in quotes because some might get a different impression from my title. But have you ever wondered why a person would choose to have so many "ugly" friends and people their lives?
I'm not judging people who are fat or non-traditional looking, or doing anything like that. Some of them might be endowed physically or blessed with good features. I'm referring to the facial expressions. You can tell a lot about people's personalities from their photos. Some of them look almost mentally "sick" and you wonder why they would want to be around so many people like that.
I think I'm pretty average, personally. But I think I get along with most people on some level. I try to accept all kinds of people. Such as the people I come into contact with every day. And I think that we should try to get along with everyone.
But there are always certain people who try to play it so "safe" that they only want to surround themselves with safe people too. Maybe they attend certain kinds of churches and feel "safe" around the people there. They may even be in artistic circles in certain religious communities. But their communities tend to reinforce their fears and beliefs. I feel sorry for these people. If you look at the people in their circles and gatherings it looks like everyone is really "uptight" or something. They might have certain good qualities, like in some ways they may be very respectful and old-fashioned. But then, as a result, it's like the women would always wear long dresses. Like Karen Carpenter. Not always, I'm exaggerating. But it's just kind of out of place in today's world.
But I worry about them never being happy because they are so scared to break out of that traditional shell. I also feel like they tend to be more superstitious and not very trusting. It's not as if they don't have the potential to blossom into something more beautiful. But they just would prefer to keep building or reinforcing their psychological walls. And it just makes them look ugly when they have the potential to be beautiful.
This is hard to describe. Can anyone relate to what I'm saying?
Considering some of your recent topics – having trouble relating to "traditional people" coworkers who you defined by Myers Briggs personality types (you know, the ones you find unflattering) because you consider yourself non-traditional, quirky and non-judgmental(!), bristling at other people's small talk about holiday plans which you find nosy and invasive (which you admitted to actually basing off reading an article and not from personal examples in your own life), and now more about how "ugly" the "uptight" are since you, yourself are so – what? loose and go with the flow? ...
Social physician, heal thyself.
You might benefit from musing with a counselor to examine your own biases, opinions, and feelings which you are covering up with all of this "concern" for others.
I see you have added more about your own religious past. How 'bout you do you? Maybe some day, those others will be as enlightened as you seem to feel you are now.
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