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I have what is a sexual fetish (urine and feet) and I've even though people say "So long as it's consentual, it's fine", there still seems to be this idea that liking certain things is a mental illness regardless of whether people enjoy it.
My psychiatrist doesn't seem to think so but my family and friends say otherwise. What do you think?
if it has changed your personality, or negatively effected your life. for instance, having a fetish for feet may not be harmful or destructive until you can no longer have natural sex. (you can only maintain an erection & ejaculate during a footjob or to foot/urine pornography, for example) or, if these fetishes are connected to a powerplay fetish that is negatively effecting your mental state or your life. (for example: if you have a foot fetish because you're masochistic or & you believe you do not deserve natural sex or the sex that most enjoy, rather, you only deserve the lowest part of the body. Or if the humiliation of kissing and smelling the feet of your partner's or being urinated on turns you on, but you can no longer enjoy natural sex, or your self esteem has dropped so low that you no longer feel worthy of natural sex with partners, and this drop in self esteem can be connected to your constant need or consumption of these fantasies.
I have what is a sexual fetish (urine and feet) and I've even though people say "So long as it's consentual, it's fine", there still seems to be this idea that liking certain things is a mental illness regardless of whether people enjoy it.
My psychiatrist doesn't seem to think so but my family and friends say otherwise. What do you think?
When it causes significant psychological distress and/or becomes detrimental to functioning across various domains (i.e. it is affecting one's ability to care for one's self, threatens one's livelihood, impedes one from forming and maintaining desired relationships, creates situations where you are breaking laws, victimizing others, etc.)
You know what they say; "kinky" is when you use a feather; "perverted" is when you use the whole chicken.
Hey, whatever you do in the privacy of your own home that doesn't hurt anyone else, knock yourself out. I would use discretion on who you share that information with, though, it could be used against you. Be careful you don't end up sitting on the same park bench in heaven with David Carradine.
I wonder about that myself. It is pointless to speculate about where fetishes come from though, but they are a very real thing. Some fetishes preclude you from realistically finding a partner easily, if you cannot be turned on sexually without them. Finding a partner who is compatible in other ways is hard enough, but to find one with a compatible personality AND a shared sexual proclivity greatly lessens the odds.
In my case it has meant being celibate for the last 10 years, by choice, just because my partner (who arouses me) options have narrowed to the point of near impossible to find. And mine BTW involves nothing illegal, immoral or victimizing. So, yes, a fetish can affect your life in ways outside of the bedroom, and like many other things, you don't choose what turns you on - it just develops along with the rest of your psychology.
In a bizarre way it makes me understand things, like pedophilia, more. The only option for someone like that is 100% celibacy or committing a horrendous crime.
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