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Is that the only side effect of those pills ? You don't feel numbed or debilitated ? Hazy ?
Are you sure it's not anxiety ? Can you easily distinguish between anxiety and fear ? I ask because I had anxiety my whole life (until recently), just didn't know what it was, as stupid as it sounds - but there's nobody inside you to put label on all feelings. I thought it was nervousness, but its proper label is anxiety.
I only ever took similar pills for 3 days, and decided to rather fully process all grief, than be a debilitated vegetable whole life.
Before you get used to them, make sure you write down all the changes. Body is very good at adapting, and month from now, you might get used to a new "normal".
Don't let the doctor (whose livelihood directly depends on enslaving you to the pills, at least forever) let decide your life.
Initially when I first started taking the medication, I noticed immediately that I became more alert and focused and more motivated. I started to take initiatives that I'm not sure I would have taken before. Other than that I did experience stomach pains and irritability at times.
Yes, I also have anxiety. The doctor said the medication sometimes helps with anxiety but it didn't really do anything for mine. It seems to have only helped with some aspects of depression.
I have been on this medication for about 8 months now.
I wouldn't take an SSRI on a dare or for a million dollars, and especially not if I noticed it was changing my thought processes. They have long been associated with - among other side effects - homicidal and suicidal ideation and impulses, and I believe this is being silenced by Big Pharma.
Actually the doctor is suggesting the next thing we try if this doesn't work is to continue taking this in conjunction with SSRI.
I’m kind of scared for you, OP. It doesn’t take much for intrusive thoughts to turn into ideation.
I’m not your doctor or even “a” doctor (duh, but it has to be said) but I think you might do well to notify whom ever prescribed this for you.
My personal experience with a psychiatric diagnosis consists of PTSD, which I’ve never been medicated for but I am ASD with ADD & that was managed in the past with old-school stimulants.
When I decided to resume treatment a few years ago, I unfortunately saw one of those cuckold doctors that wouldn’t prescribe controlled substances & she wanted me to try Wellbutrin.
It’s supposed to be a “blood-level” drug that takes days to weeks to build up to a therapeutic level but I took ONE dose & thought I was losing my mind. Never again! I’ll buy meth off the street before I’d ingest Wellbutrin, since doctors are losing their prescribing authority for what actually works.
Interestingly, I found out this last year, after taking one of those DNA genealogy tests (I paid for the health feature) that I have a gene variant that causes me to have adverse reactions to around 25% of all available pharmaceuticals & many of those are psychotropics. So maybe it wasn’t actually “all in my head” but rather; in my DNA.
Are you talking about 23AndMe? Because I took one of those tests and opted for the health screening. I don't think I saw anything about a gene variant that causes adverse reactions to medications, is this something your learned from their analysis or did you analyze your raw data somehow?
I wouldn't say that I am having suicidal thoughts or anything like that though. Actually, there is an increased sense that I am not ready to die. I remember even having a dream where I was in a dangerous situation and this even carried over into the dream, I was extremely terrified of dying. There's also just more contemplation around death and what it really is.
Another effect of this is that it has shifted my views further against any form of capital punishment or revenge killing. I have reached a point where I basically can't see myself supporting the killing of anybody. Murderers, terrorists, rapists, child molesters, ex-Nazis I would not be in favor of killing any of them. Sure it may sometimes be necessary for self defense, but if it's simply an option I always oppose it.
No, and I used A/Ds for decades. I very much doubt an A/D itself is going to change your personal beliefs about such things. Those views can change over time in anyone's life. Our views change because of experiences we accumulate over time, by hearing the beliefs and opinions of people who move in and out of our lives. You are also simply older...time ahead of you has decreased and time past has increased. That in itself does change you. You may be placing more value on some things in life than you did before. Just as you shifted from formal religious beliefs to an agnostic, your views about the existence of an afterlife shifted in the same manner. You used to trust what someone told you was going to happen. Now you don't. You want more tangible proof of reality and rely less on faith. It could be that the A/D clarified your thinking patterns that happened to be foggier while under the influence of depression itself. The A/D doesn't change the content of your thoughts, it changes how you react and manage them.
I agree with this. 30 is a big step, it is traditionally a year that can - for some - bring much more serious thoughts because you'll never really be "young" again. It is a milestone year.
This, coupled with more alertness and awareness due to the Welbutrin, may be the perfect storm for the OP.
I started taking an ant-depressant called Wellbutrin and one of the effects I've noticed is that the way I look at death seems to have changed. It's like, I now realize the magnitude of it...the end of everything you've ever known. Growing up I was religious and believed in an afterlife, although even then I suppose I never thought seriously about how I was going to one date be in that afterlife. Over time, I became agnostic and lost faith in there being an afterlife (although I still haven't ruled it out). But even still, in the times when thoughts of dying would come to me, the thoughts would revolve around what I would experience during the dying process. However, I never really thought about the state of not existing anymore. I tended to worry more about feeling pain but not really about dying. Like, I would not see a painless death as being scary. But ever since I started taking this anti-depressant, all that has changed. Now the thought of not existing anymore is horrifying. And I find myself pondering it much more. And not just for myself, but even when I hear about someone else's death, I don't just think about whether or not they felt pain they felt before dying, but also about how everything they'd ever known came to an end.
Has anyone else experienced thoughts or feelings like this while on anti-depressants?
Perhaps a better way of thinking about death is to consider what things were like for you before you were conceived. Before you were conceived, there was NO YOU. So things were like NOTHING for you before you existed. After you die, you will, again, no longer exist. So, not only will you not care, you will be incapable of caring. Care is reserved for the living.
I wouldn't say that I am having suicidal thoughts or anything like that though. Actually, there is an increased sense that I am not ready to die. I remember even having a dream where I was in a dangerous situation and this even carried over into the dream, I was extremely terrified of dying. There's also just more contemplation around death and what it really is.
Thank you for clarifying and the apt re-direction. Nothing in your OP sounded suicidal. For others to take that tack was unfortunate but some people here just wait for threads about medications like this to get on their soapboxes about the horrors of Big Pharma. Big Pharma certainly has it's negative influences, no one's denying it but they are not the end-all be-all cause of everything that can go wrong with a person' life. TBH, you sound like a very thoughtful person who recognizes changes in their perspectives as their life rolls along. Not a bad thing at all.
If the Wellbutrin has helped you stay functional in your everyday life, great. That's the intent. It's not supposed to blot anything out or prevent you from contemplating important things that might come up.
I wonder if exploring philosophical works about death might be helpful or clarify why you seem to be focused on it more right now?
"Interestingly, I found out this last year, after taking one of those DNA genealogy tests (I paid for the health feature) that I have a gene variant that causes me to have adverse reactions to around 25% of all available pharmaceuticals & many of those are psychotropics."
That IS interesting. May I ask which test?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cell jin
Are you talking about 23AndMe? Because I took one of those tests and opted for the health screening. I don't think I saw anything about a gene variant that causes adverse reactions to medications, is this something your learned from their analysis or did you analyze your raw data somehow?
Yes; it was 23andMe & yes; I found it by analyzing my own raw data. I found it somewhat accidentally, as I was actually cross-referencing a list of genes associated with Autism against my own DNA (I am HF ASD with a severely autistic 14 year old son).
The gene: CYP2D6, is on chromosome 22 & has been “linked” with autism but of course; many people will have variants on that gene but will not be autistic; as autism is “multifactorial”. It takes several variants on over 20 different genes, plus it would require the environmental trigger that must coincide with the genes.
Sure enough, when I pulled up CYP2D6; the link to the majority of the blue highlighted snp’s that I could select, came up with the red “Clinical Variations” box. Several of the snp’s came up with warnings such as this: “ ** With Drug-Response Allele” **”.
“CYP2D6, a member of the cytochrome P450 mixed-function oxidase system, is one of the most important enzymes involved in the metabolism of xenobiotics in the body. In particular, CYP2D6 is responsible for the metabolism and elimination of approximately 25% of clinically used drugs ...”
The atypical drug metabolisms can result in either diminished therapeutic value, increased toxicity, or stronger side-effects to the pharmaceutical products listed in the overview.
So, that was an unexpected but very valuable learning experience!
Yes; it was 23andMe & yes; I found it by analyzing my own raw data. I found it somewhat accidentally, as I was actually cross-referencing a list of genes associated with Autism against my own DNA (I am HF ASD with a severely autistic 14 year old son).
The gene: CYP2D6, is on chromosome 22 & has been “linked” with autism but of course; many people will have variants on that gene but will not be autistic; as autism is “multifactorial”. It takes several variants on over 20 different genes, plus it would require the environmental trigger that must coincide with the genes.
Sure enough, when I pulled up CYP2D6; the link to the majority of the blue highlighted snp’s that I could select, came up with the red “Clinical Variations” box. Several of the snp’s came up with warnings such as this: “ ** With Drug-Response Allele” **”.
“CYP2D6, a member of the cytochrome P450 mixed-function oxidase system, is one of the most important enzymes involved in the metabolism of xenobiotics in the body. In particular, CYP2D6 is responsible for the metabolism and elimination of approximately 25% of clinically used drugs ...”
The atypical drug metabolisms can result in either diminished therapeutic value, increased toxicity, or stronger side-effects to the pharmaceutical products listed in the overview.
So, that was an unexpected but very valuable learning experience!
Thanks for the info, I need to do that. Do you just google the gene variants you have to find this info?
I wouldn't take an SSRI on a dare or for a million dollars, and especially not if I noticed it was changing my thought processes. They have long been associated with - among other side effects - homicidal and suicidal ideation and impulses, and I believe this is being silenced by Big Pharma.
What does this have to do with the OP and Wellbutrin?
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