Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yeah but 90% of straight men would have done the same thing. Ariana, a great looking young woman showing lots of skin (short skirt or short shorts?) in a dour setting. Sorry girl, don't go to a formal service dressed like you are for rent. It's actually more disrespectful to the older ladies in the building.
Even if a woman is naked, that does not give anyone an excuse to touch her (same applies to men dressed skimpily). Period. This is what we call "rape culture," and you should not be perpetuating it.
Quote:
And I think the pastor was oblivious about it. Hugging a woman, particularly a big breasted woman, it is nearly impossible to avoid contact with breasts. Even if you do the careful butt out, lean-in from the shoulders thing, you are still embracing boobs people. Many women I work with are huggers; I don't go running to Employee Relations when I'm forced(?) to embrace a female co-worker's body.
I have very large breasts - so large that I've literally knocked books (at the library where I work) off shelves with them. And I still know the difference between an accidental swipe/brushing and a grope. It's 100% obvious. And unless you hug with your arms crossed, which is weird, there is no need for hands to touch breasts during a hug. Again, there is an obvious difference between GROPING and "contact with the breasts" during an embrace... the latter doesn't bother me, the former generally would.
The guy being 60 doesn't excuse or explain anything.
90% of men would not do the same thing.
A woman's choice of dress might make it more likely that I or any man, or woman, has a sexual thought or 50 about her, but what we do is still 100% our choice.
Big breasted was not aimed at Ariana, I was giving an example of hugging other women, many who have unavoidable breasts in a hug. Should people never hug?
"Unavoidable breasts"
Well that is a new one.
It'll be helpful if we stay on topic. This was beyond a hug. He had a grip under her arm, around to where he could feel her breast, for more than a minute, and in the seconds where they laughed and she could have possibly put some space between them, he gripped her tighter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE
The pastor was likely a friendly paternalist of which there are many. Old school guys do this, they are tone def more than pervs. I don't believe he was being a pervert in front of thousands (millions on TV).
He's kind of like Joe Biden, just a loving old school guy who isn't careful enough at times. It's like giving affection to toddlers, you want to touch them because they're so cute but you shouldn't.
And by your terms, I guess by late father groped his grand daughter.
Your dismissive vocabulary is alarming.
Let's check the list: tone def, friendly paternalist, old school, affectionate. I think you may have just won Blow-Off Bingo.
"Friendly paternalists" get away with this kind of stuff ALL the time. I've dealt with so-called "friendly paternalists" since the age of 11, when my BFF's dad would parade through the house naked under an open bathrobe when we were there for sleepovers.
They do it because they can get away with it because so many of you are quick to defend with these dismissive terms. He can't just run up and touch her breasts because that would make him a monster. No, it's better if he does it sneakily, so that in the event someone DOES notice, he can have a believable defense ready.
And I can't believe you brought up old Pervy Uncle Joe Biden, when in this very thread I have posted two links that show him being inappropriate with teen girls and women in very similar circumstances. Wake up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elmejor77
Well, actions speak louder than words.
Maybe ...
maybe...
maybe ...
I think you've forgotten why you started this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by elmejor77
We are heading towards a world of extremes. In a few years women will walk down the street either semi-nude or wearing burkas.
It's already happening in all types of situations: opioids crisis, driving (breathing) while black, mass shootings becoming more and more frequent, etc.
The root cause is the same: people cant relax anymore, everything has to be extreme.
Dogs and cats living together ... Chaos!!
Now you've gone off the rails. I didn't realize that Ariana had caused all the mass shootings.
Are you saying this solely because of his age, or because he's a pastor? If he's only 60, that's NO excuse unless he has early-onset demetia or something... you must be young to think that's old enough to be called a "dinosaur," or that he can't understand "modern times." That's 10 years YOUNGER than my mother, who works full-time and mostly on computers. We have programmers that age here in Silicon Valley, and people older than 60 who run those high-tech companies. Pulease; the guy is just a garden-variety perv.
I meant he is old school, he has a pre-internet mindset. I Heard the term "dinosaur" for the first time in a James Bond movie...I think Moneypenny called that to Pierce Brosnan when he was flirtitious….very different attitude back in the day with Sean Connery and Roger Moore.
Now you've gone off the rails. I didn't realize that Ariana had caused all the mass shootings.
No, she's just the product of modern times. People living in hypersexualized bubbles, afraid of everything, and ready to shot to kill anything that moves.
No, she's just the product of modern times. People living in hypersexualized bubbles, afraid of everything, and ready to shot to kill anything that moves.
The pastor was a bit off base making comments about her name and Taco Bell menu items. Maybe that was a poorly executed attempt at humor, who knows. I watched the vid and he looks like he's a tad too friendly but I'm not so sure about labeling it groping, he probably shouldn't have had his arms around her like that, but again, in the interest of being fair who knows. I wouldn't have done it like that and maybe the guy wasn't trying to be offensive and is a touch feely guy, don't know.
I saw the video and it reminded me of nothing so much as what a twelve year old boy would try to do in a dark movie theater, and then brag to his friends about it afterwards. "Dude, I swear I touched her boob!"
My feelings about men are that most normal men have boundaries. They may appreciate pretty women but they know the women are not available to them. Abnormal men look at any woman as a possible sex object or partner. Age, relationship, marital status of the female does not matter.
I also feel there are some men who rise to positions of power and realize (or think) that they can get away with sexual assault. If they were a janitor, they might behave themselves, but now that they are a bishop or the head of a major network, they feel invincible.
The pastor was a bit off base making comments about her name and Taco Bell menu items. Maybe that was a poorly executed attempt at humor, who knows. I watched the vid and he looks like he's a tad too friendly but I'm not so sure about labeling it groping, he probably shouldn't have had his arms around her like that, but again, in the interest of being fair who knows. I wouldn't have done it like that and maybe the guy wasn't trying to be offensive and is a touch feely guy, don't know.
Chowhound, I understand and appreciate your interest in being objective and fair. But in my opinion, everyone has a responsibility to be cautious for just the reasons you're astutely pointing out. There's a fine line between being "a tad too friendly" and outright groping - actually, they are the same imho.
Why risk putting someone else in that position, when simply being thoughtful and aware of one's behavior will almost always avoid it? The days of it being okay to be a touchy feely guy are over and people need to pay attention and take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.
It'll be helpful if we stay on topic. This was beyond a hug. He had a grip under her arm, around to where he could feel her breast, for more than a minute, and in the seconds where they laughed and she could have possibly put some space between them, he gripped her tighter.
Yeah, that was what I found gross, he really dug into the side of her breast to grip on to her. For those trying to claim it was due to height difference, that would be a great excuse if he moved his hand as soon as he "accidentally" touched her. Instead of doing that, he basically doubled down, while on camera. There's no excuse for that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And I still know the difference between an accidental swipe/brushing and a grope. It's 100% obvious. And unless you hug with your arms crossed, which is weird, there is no need for hands to touch breasts during a hug. Again, there is an obvious difference between GROPING and "contact with the breasts" during an embrace... the latter doesn't bother me, the former generally would.
