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I'll contribute an example that stands out in my mind:
For the past three years, one of my better friends has attended the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas in June. Each of the three years, he's headed out there with the intention of playing either one or two $1,500 tournaments; if only one, then he'll also be playing cash games on the side, for which he might budget about the same amount of money ($1,500). So we're talking a poker budget of $3,000, plus a budget for expenses--keep that in mind. Given that we have long been friends because of the game, I always get calls and text updates about how he's doing--I make some of the calls myself, because I am genuinely interested. This year, when discussing the arrangements he was making for his trip, he started out by telling me that he was staying at a Super 8 off the Strip to cut down on cost. Okay, fine--I considered that to be evidence of his frugality with which I am well-accustomed; I did however include a warning to consider that it wouldn't be 'worth it' if it somehow threw off his commute to the Rio casino and hotel, which is the site of the WSOP. Penny wise and pound foolish and all of that--he said it wouldn't, it was still close and that he'd plot out his means of getting to and from the casino beforehand. Okay, sounds good then. This is something I would assign to the frugality category, but not really an example of what the OP is talking about.
Not so for what I'm going to mention in a little while. When he got to Vegas this year, he first communicated via text/Facebook as he mentioned some small non-WSOP tournament he planned to also play (so add another few hundred into the poker budget of 3k), talked about the bad beat he ended up taking in that small tournament (a cliche in poker conversations, but the 'badness' of this particular beat was somewhat unusually bad), mentioned that the Super 8 was in a somewhat shady (by his estimation) part of town and that it may or may not have been a good decision to book a room there, etc. Ok, cool--day 1 in Vegas didn't go particularly well, but day 2 was the big one--the beginning of his first WSOP event. He'd call me beforehand, and I told him I looked forward to hearing from him.
So next day rolls around, and I get the call, maybe around 1 PM Eastern, 10 AM Vegas time.
Me: 'Hey, man, how's it going?'
Friend: 'Well, here we are at the WSOP....'
Me: 'Awesome, eh. I wish you the best of luck today, sir.'
Friend: 'Thanks, man, I appreciate it. It's good to be back...and they even have free Rockstar energy drinks this year...you can drink unlimited Rockstars for free if you want.'
Me: <considers hanging up phone without saying another word>
...ok, so let's deconstruct this. Here's a guy with an insurance sales job that brings in maybe 60K per year in a low cost-of-living area, willing to spend ~$3300 on poker tournament buy-ins alone in the course of the week of the year to which he looks forward the most, and...he basically leads off the Report From Vegas (TM) by informing me that tournament series sponsor Rockstar has decided to oh-so-generously offer their product for free to all tournament series participants in 2018? That's the f*cking headline? Really? Let me here add the detail that, in thirteen years of playing poker/being friends with this person, I've never, ever seen this guy drink an energy drink of the Monster/Red Bull/Rockstar variety. Coffee, sure--that tended to be our mutual energy drink of choice when we'd make late-night casino runs to Niagara Falls or what have you. But, because it's free (!!), he was willing to 'experiment' with a product he'd never consumed before (and which could certainly induce anxiety/cloud rational thinking if consumed in large enough quantity) with a $1,500 registration fee on the line.
That, my friends, is a textbook case of a person unable to turn down free stuff.
Last edited by Matt Marcinkiewicz; 10-08-2018 at 03:15 PM..
Friend: 'Thanks, man, I appreciate it. It's good to be back...and they even have free Rockstar energy drinks this year...you can drink unlimited Rockstars for free if you want.'
Me: <considers hanging up phone without saying another word>
...ok, so let's deconstruct this. Here's a guy with an insurance sales job that brings in maybe 60K per year in a low cost-of-living area, willing to spend ~$3300 on poker tournament buy-ins alone in the course of the week of the year to which he looks forward the most, and...he basically leads off the Report From Vegas (TM) by informing me that tournament series sponsor Rockstar has decided to oh-so-generously offer their product for free to all tournament series participants in 2018? That's the f*cking headline? Really? Let me here add the detail that, in thirteen years of playing poker/being friends with this person, I've never, ever seen this guy drink an energy drink of the Monster/Red Bull/Rockstar variety. Coffee, sure--that tended to be our mutual energy drink of choice when we'd make late-night casino runs to Niagara Falls or what have you. But, because it's free (!!), he was willing to 'experiment' with a product he'd never consumed before (and which could certainly induce anxiety/cloud rational thinking if consumed in large enough quantity) with a $1,500 registration fee on the line.
And maybe he was just making conversation.
Did he actually end up consuming untold free cans of Rockstar causing him to blow his game? Or get rolled by shady characters at his cheap motel?
Lol. It would be difficult to top this example for the honor of most pathological instance of what you were getting at or attempting to get at in the OP
Thank you. I think it sometimes could qualify as a mental disease.
I have a pack rat relative that loves hotel soaps/shampoos. . . .
I noticed my family was having this problem especially and they stopped having many guests. So, one day, I decided to start taking some and using them myself. It was fun to be able to smell different things and not have to worry about having shampoo and soap for several more months or so, lol.
I have never understand these kind of people. They are the kind who would get a refill on their drink just because it's free. If they were eating out, they would order what they think is the most value for their money, rather that what they feel like eating. They would take the more valuable of any two items if given the choice, rather than their preferred item if it didn't have the higher market value. They would stuff themselves at a food buffet. They would stand in line for an hour at a store or fast food restaurant that was giving away a free but inexpensive item.
Some of them are so annoying I hate to even be around them if I think they are going to behave that way.
Does anyone have any insight into this particular kind of madness? What causes these people to be this way? Did they have some kind of bad childhood experience? Why do they still behave this way?
The most important question is why do you care so much what other people do? Why are you allowing yourself to get angry over something that absolutely doesn't affect you whatsoever? You must accept that you can not control everyone around you and they have a right to be that way if they want. It is pretty creepy that you are so emotionally invested.
I think my love of free stuff is rooted in the idea that no matter how little or how much money I have, I must always make choices on what I'm doing with it. If I choose to spend $100 here, I will then be closing the door on any other options I might have had, to spend it there, there, or there instead. The choices must always be made.
I have been very poor, and I have had what my boyfriend and I call "stupid money" before. I've known the psychological and emotional realities of living both ways. And the constant, is that unlimited money doesn't exist and choices must always be made. (I understood this less when I was poor, and before that changed for me...I had that irrational outlook that if only I got some windfall of cash, it would be like unlimited money, I could get all the things I'd wanted and wanted, and not been able to get before...)
So getting a free meal means I won't have to choose to put money into buying a meal, I can hold it and do something else with it instead. Though the hotel toiletries thing is more a matter of "that one time when I run out of shampoo and I thought for sure I had more under the sink, I'll sure be glad I picked up all these little bottles..." And when I snag little tins of strawberry preserves from the restaurant, it's mainly because I love them and I'll be happy to have them in my packed lunch. Some things are just useful!
But like others, I definitely draw the line at taking junk I don't need or really want, like beer coozies or sun vizors or those little rubber bracelets. I don't want pointless clutter like that.
My mother takes the love of free things a few steps further.
1.If she's going to an event with free door prizes, she will invite as many of us as possible, then keep our tickets so she has multiple chances to win.
2.When she goes to a church pot luck, she takes the cheapest thing possible, often a bag of frozen vegetables. Then she tries to take others' leftovers home with her.
3.Her favorite food is food that someone else desperately needed. Growing up, we were friends with a family who had 7 kids. My mom loved to drop by their house at dinnertime, knowing her friend's manners would require her to invite us to stay. Then my mom didn't have to make dinner, and she could watch her friend trying to stretch a single chicken to feed the 9 of them and the 4 of us. She said it felt like the miracle of the loaves and fishes.
4.Another example of someone else's food being her favorite: During the recession, I was feeding a family of four on $50/week. She would stop by my apartment at dinnertime and insist on eating our dinner, then packing up leftovers to feed my dad and sister. Sometimes those leftovers were my kids' dinners, taken right from their plates. I would end up cooking more for the kids and then my husband and I would go hungry another night. If I told her there was no extra food, she would sit in front of my young kids while they ate and make begging faces and act like she was crying because she was hungry. She knew how little money we had for food and suggested we get food stamps, because "I could help you with money for food but since I'm already paying taxes, you might as well get my tax dollars as food stamps so the money comes back to the family." She couldn't understand why my family didn't go to her Thanksgiving dinner that year.
The most important question is why do you care so much what other people do? Why are you allowing yourself to get angry over something that absolutely doesn't affect you whatsoever? You must accept that you can not control everyone around you and they have a right to be that way if they want. It is pretty creepy that you are so emotionally invested.
You must accept that some people like to analyze others, and this is the psychology section.
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