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The whole incel thing is that they've given up and are wallowing in a pity-fest. It is a natural human inclination to blame your problems on others. That so many men have never been caught in the "incel trap" shows that it's not women causing this, it's something wrong with the incels. But the good thing is that at least most of them IMO can be fixed. But they need something to get themselves out of that incel rut, and get them into learning social skills.
You make a lot of good points. Incels and even the Peter Pans/Wendy's in the other thread are not people who are productive and living purposeful lives. They're just taking up space and expecting others to do for them what they won't for themselves.
You make a lot of good points. Incels and even the Peter Pans/Wendy's in the other thread are not people who are productive and living purposeful lives. They're just taking up space and expecting others to do for them what they won't for themselves.
Thank you for your gracious compliment! ... I was never an incel (I fixed that at 17 years old) but my problem was shyness, which in its way is similar to incel-ness in that it prevents a man from approaching women. And we have to face reality whether or not we like it: most of the asking is done by men, and most women have a reluctance to do the asking. If a man won't approach women and ask them out, the men just don't get dates! It's just that simple. Men, if a woman asks you out you are either a Chad or you just got plain damned lucky!
I empathize with these guys because of the similarity between incel-ness and shyness. Both have the same end result. (Except shy men don't blame women. Instead they feel frustrated and get low self-esteem, in my experience with shyness.) By the way, shy guys do get dates, they just don't get as many. Incels get no dates at all. — I fixed my shyness problem about 5 years ago.
I would put your last part differently. Not "people who are [not] productive and living purposeful lives," but rather, people who are leading robot lives in isolation.
The best parts of our lives are our lovers, our friends, our families, the best part of life is people!
Working a job and earning an income are good, but not if you have to enjoy your loot alone.
Being alone for a few weeks is a good thing. (I've gone on 2-3 week camping trips alone. I always met new friends at campgrounds. Campers are very friendly people!)
Being alone all the time is horrible. (Or so I surmise, most I've been alone is maybe 3 weeks.) What was the point of your life after it's all over if the only thing you ever did was earn money, and then enjoy spending it alone?
Once they've fully adopted the group mindset, I think the likelihood of "fixing" them is about the same as the likelihood of "fixing" KKK members.
I agree that the vocal and organized incels ARE a hate group, to the degree that they blame women for their own shortcomings. (Pretend you don't notice the double entendre. ) If incels would just shut up and be miserable in silence that would be just fine with me.
I have a fair experience in psychology, not only minored in Psych in college, but I've been trough counseling myself. I disagree, and I think some of them can be fixed—but only if they want to be fixed. A lot of people would benefit from counseling but few avail themselves of it.
I wish every person in the country had easy access to counseling. I think all of America would benefit from it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
Incels hate women. That's what distinguishes them from normal shy guys that are involuntary celibate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
You can empathize with people that hate women? Based on having read a lot of your posts, I have a very hard time believing that.
I empathize in the same fashion that I sympathize with a poor dog, cat, or squirrel who has been run over by a car. I want them all fixed, if there is any way to fix them.
Looking at the age statistics for celibacy you can see an obvious spontaneous remission rate into perhaps into the 40s (as one article I read said). Incel-ness decreases with increased age. I guess some get lucky and some get smart.
I disagree that some can't be fixed. I agree that there is no way to fix some of the others.
Please understand that seeing unhappy people makes me unhappy. I'd rather help fix them than just simply hate them. I'm not a hater.
I don't think shaming is going to work with this group. Has it ever?
Shaming never helps any group or individual. Neither do threads spewing hatred and judgment. This thread is now closed.
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) If incels would just shut up and be miserable in silence that would be just fine with me.
