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When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, no one in my family talked about politics on a holiday. There are over 300 hundred days in the year to talk about politics. Why ruin a pleasant dinner?
I've been at a distance from my family for many years now, plus I prefer to celebrate in my own place. I heard from my sister that a certain relative-by-marriage was ruining every Thanksgiving and Christmas for her, because he wouldn't stop talking about "how stupid" people were that voted differently from him.
Never mind that he was unknowingly ridiculing how my sister voted. It didn't even cross his mind that anyone in the family might vote differently.
My sister moved away for her job, and though she misses our family holidays to an extent, she is relieved not to have her holidays hijacked by a blowhard.
He really brought the cheerfulness down several notches with his angry rants, and she is no longer part of his captive audience.
Last edited by Shooting Stars; 11-24-2018 at 10:21 AM..
When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, no one in my family talked about politics on a holiday. There are over 300 hundred days in the year to talk about politics. Why ruin a pleasant dinner?
I've been at a distance from my family for many years now, plus I prefer to celebrate in my own place. I heard from my sister that a certain relative-by-marriage was ruining every Thanksgiving and Christmas for her, because he wouldn't stop talking about "how stupid" people were that voted differently from him.
Never mind that he was unknowingly ridiculing how my sister voted. It didn't even cross his mind that anyone in the family might vote differently.
My sister moved away for her job, and though she misses our family holidays to an extent, she is relieved not to have her holidays hijacked by a blowhard.
He really brought the cheerfulness down several notches with his angry rants, and she is no longer part of his captive audience.
Oh HAIL, all my life of growing up, and I'm 80, politics were never discussed..guess it's all the progress and media of our today's life.
I believe it's called Black Friday because it was traditionally when the retailers would go from being in the red to being in the black. People who worked retail would kiddingly call it Black Friday because it's a tough day at work with all the mobs of people - even in the days before they opened at ungodly hours of morning.
I love the Christmas lights at a time of year when the days are dark longer and I like going to the malls, stores and restaurants that are festively decorated. I love that the stores get in extra merchandise that you don't see at any other times of the year. I try to get the labor part of Christmas done as early and easily as possible so we have time to get together with friends, go places to see decorations and browse in the stores during non-peak times, when we feel like it - or just kick back. If I'm able, I save PTO time so I'm not having to deck the halls while tired and cranky, as that seems a contradiction. We enjoy some family togetherness during the holidays and are fortunate that we like our families and enjoy getting together with them - but in limited doses. It can all be a bit tiring and overwhelming, so I try to space it all out - which also helps prevent holiday letdown when it's over - as in "I did ALL that and it's over just like that"?
But I also understand people who have suffered a loss and find it all depressing - as well as those who find it all tiresome and just don't want to spend the time, money and energy on it. There are no rules - we should do what we enjoy and avoid what we don't.
I don't mean the food is bad - it's just that I would like a traditional Italian Christmas Eve with fish and she caters the same thing year after year. If my house was bigger I would do Christmas Eve myself but then there would be complaints about the Italian Christmas Eve. It's not like she cooks a nice meal herself. As for the presents it's very uncomfortable for those of us who can't afford to reciprocate and she won't listen when we tell her to please not buy us anything.
She is a great person and I didn't mean for it to sound like it came out.
I wish I could afford to disappear for the holidays. It's always the same thing at my sister's house because her house is big and she insists on buying presents for everyone even though nobody else can really afford to do so and nobody needs anything anyway. She serves the same food every Christmas Eve, we open presents (we did Secret Santa last year), then go home and I spent Christmas Day mostly alone except for a few minutes when my granddaughter comes over. It's not like we have family over that we only see once in a while. It's the same people every year except for those who have died that past year. It's all very depressing and I'm not sure why because my family is great for the most part.
Part of it is growing up in Florida where it never felt like Christmas and losing the wonderment of it all when I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. Then being widowed in 2010 really cemented the fact that Christmas is just a big commercialization to make retailers rich. Does anybody know why it is called Black Friday?
I guess I could hide my car, turn off my phone and tell the family I'm heading up north to see a friend in the NC mountains for a few weeks......
Do you expect your family members to be different people over the years?
Sounds like you have a nice sister, lucky you.
I don't mean the food is bad - it's just that I would like a traditional Italian Christmas Eve with fish and she caters the same thing year after year. If my house was bigger I would do Christmas Eve myself but then there would be complaints about the Italian Christmas Eve. It's not like she cooks a nice meal herself. As for the presents it's very uncomfortable for those of us who can't afford to reciprocate and she won't listen when we tell her to please not buy us anything.
She is a great person and I didn't mean for it to sound like it came out.
I wasn’t thinking the food was bad lol , just that if you don’t like or are bored with the food you don’t go, or you offer to take something or you just enjoy someone else catering a meal. You can always do your own Italian Christmas Eve type meal yourself another day during the holidays. As for presents you can make something,or bake cookies presented in a nice tin.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth
I know so many seem to suffer during this short time of our lives and I knew when I got so sick and tired of the crazy and commercialism of it all, when I took my daughter who was 18 and took a vacation to Honolulu, we took off on Christmas morning and escaped to a beautiful warm sunny beach and away from the wild stuff of buying this and that and making nice for everyone....grrrr
I was in my mid 40's and scaled down more and more after that fateful trip and Christmas.
I enjoyed many many holidays in my younger years and wouldn't give up those memories, but now I could almost sleep thru it all. Here today, gone to Maui.
It's interesting my daughter who is now in her 50's takes her grown children on far away vacations now for the last couple yrs for the holidays. She's even getting sick and tired of the nutty stuff. They are beach people and go to islands. This year she says she and her son are going to Sydney to escort her daughter back from the 6 month course studies at Univ of Sydney.
Anyone else with an experience kinda like this.
My grandmother died during the holiday season 13 years ago. Since that happened my mother and I don’t really care about the holidays at all. Neither one of us have decorated our homes. Sure we have dinner together when circumstances allow (not this year BTW.) Overall, not really celebrating the holidays is something we are at peace with.
The last four years I’ve gone to a holiday performance of my favorite artist in Ohio and the friends I have there have given me more love than most of my extended family has or ever will. I don’t get crucified for being an atheist, having transsexual or gay friends, or being single with no kids at 30 by my friends. You can’t show respect for me or how I conduct my life, I will not let you be in my presence to voice that disrespect.
Hmmmmm, having been a brat and then in the service, I take it the other way.
The only thing I object to is that in most of the western world (but not all) is that to them, Christmas ends on the 25th. One of the local radio stations, for instance, stops playing the music on the 25th, having been constantly playing it for 5-6 weeks before.
Christmas doesn't end on the 25th but rather, starts. One can see that some recognize that in that tree recycling doesn't end till after 12th Day. One can see it on the Spanish channels.
But.....given the commercialism of the world, that message isn't there, far from it.
Fortunately, I am both conditioned against that message and now, isolated from it.....and in some ways, abuse it.
I am conditioned against it because of my upbringing, when on Christmas Day, it might be a quiet day because relatives are elsewhere and then, the celebration is on another day. I am isolated from it because I don't get TV, at all (my work station changed so not even there), anymore. And.....I abuse it a little, knowing I have many more days to get those presents and cards in the mail.....if I ever do.
Then, there is the sharing. A decade or a bit more ago, my brother was teaching at a military school and two Muslim students came with him. Their father wanted them to experience the rest of the world, to see how others celebrated. I followed the tradition that I had learned growing up, of having extra gifts for unexpected guests, and gave at least one of them (the other may not have been there) "Lost Moon". I don't recall others being so ready but as said, it was one of the traditions I learned growing up.
excessiveness, especially if trying to do things moderately during the year, for the sake of balance. a one-day holiday with this, and then "back to normal" again 'just like that'. unrealistic expectations supposed to equal "real happy times"--not really...
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