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I've always had a hard time remembering people's names. I've worked on remembering techniques since I was a young man. I STILL have trouble remembering names!
I'm told that is not unusual - and that's not really what my question is about.
Because I also sometimes "misplace" a face. Say I meet an acquaintance - a neighbor. And they are a half block from where I'm accustomed to seeing them. I might look at them, and think to myself, "where the eph do I know this person from?"!
Ok, the context changed, right? It's still embarrassing! BTW, once the guy said, "Hey, it's Jim!", my brain goes click, click, click, and everything falls into place - and I know the guy.
How about this one. I go to a neighbor's holiday bash. One of the people is a neighbor from a ways closer to town. He's an acquaintance I've met several times, been to their house, had drinks with - but not a close friend or someone I talk with regularly. I see him and my brain connects him to a closer neighbor, whom I have about the same level of contact with. My mind tells me this is Ned, the closer one, when he is really Jeff.
It wasn't an out-of-context "who IS this" - which has happened to me since I was young. It was like my brain was telling me this was one person - Ned - whose wife my memory clearly identified - when in reality it was another - Jeff - whose wife was standing a short distance away and whom I did not recognize. It was a complete disconnect - and I don't think I figured it out until the next day. At some point it all snapped into place, and I just had to "OMG, did you? You did!" myself.
I've just always figured I was a bit absent-minded. My mind is always working (but isn't everybody's?), and usually about something other than what I'm doing. So my internal focus is one place, and when I have to focus on something in real life, it takes a while to gather all those pertinent threads up.
So, does anybody else do/experience this? Or should I just start talking to myself and be done with it!
When I first meet people there's a 99% chance that I won't remember your name, but I'll admit its because I'm not really listening to it. I figure most new people I meet are not anyone I'll have any meaningful dialogue with. Not because they aren't interesting but because that's just how things work out. I admit that this is pretty rude and something I want to change about myself. I kind of work backwards on this. If we've just met and we're having a good conversation, the last thing I'm thinking about is your name. I just really want to focus on what you're saying. I'll get your name at the end. But I think I owe people the respect of trying to remember their names, because I always feel bad when I dont - like somehow I can't be bothered to acknowledge them as a person. And if they remember my name? Double gut punch!
That being said, I do find that if I'm having a really good convo with a stranger I'll often say, "Your name is so and so, right?" And I'm usually spot on if not close. So maybe they just have to bring their 'A' game.
I struggle to remember names and to place faces sometimes. But I meet a lot of people, constantly (more or less) since I am an extrovert with a very busy social life and a participant in a couple of big communities of people. If I am actively engaged in my social stuff (nothing going on at home preventing me from being gone, say, a couple of nights a week) then I'm meeting at least a dozen or more new people every week. There's no way I'm going to remember all the names.
Also, I'm a visual learner. So if I read a name I'm more likely to remember it, than if I hear it spoken to me. Social media has been a godsend for my name-remembering situation.
I used to be great at names but over a 37-year career of dealing with many people, I lost the ability. Now I only work part-time in retirement, but it involves attending industry events and talking to people. Thankfully, most of these events require name tags, and when they don't, it's hell.
I used to be great at names but over a 37-year career of dealing with many people, I lost the ability. Now I only work part-time in retirement, but it involves attending industry events and talking to people. Thankfully, most of these events require name tags, and when they don't, it's hell.
Yeah! I can understand that! I could tell some stories from when I was a young man and working in a public contact position. But I won't, because they were all so embarrassing!
It was ironic - I brought up this topic - and today, in town, a gent who is walking by looks at me and says "Hey, Tom!".
But I'm not Tom.
So I said, "No, Hiero, but that's all right, I do the same thing!" Made my day a little better!
Some people have better face memories than others. I have problems remembering names of people when I first meet them in a group. With a single name I can often associate the name with something that jogs my memory. With several new names, my mind sort of freezes.
My DH has a poor face memory, in most cases, although I think he does a better job with guys than with women. I have decent face memory. But I’ve drawn a blank on someone before.
I do know about having trouble with out of context faces. It can be maddening.
All the time. I have a friend who is actually faceblind, but I'm like one degree removed from it. I had trouble picking my favorite cousin out of a crowd at the local carnival once and ended up wandering up to random girls and squinting at their faces. Couldn't tell if my college boyfriend was standing 30 feet away or not. I stared at a guy on the other side of the commuter rail tracks for like 20 minutes. Wasn't my boyfriend. It's often embarrassing and upsetting.
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