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Old 01-01-2019, 05:52 PM
 
Location: New York Area
13,957 posts, read 5,523,444 times
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This reflection is written on the occasion of the New Year, for many people a time for reflection, and looking backwards as well as forward. I am now 1 3/4 years after my 60th, less four days.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa View Post
Several days ago, I passed my 60th birthday. I would like to use the word "celebrated" but that is not accurate. My life is overall good; I have a wife who means everything to me, has been undyingly loyal, as have been my two children. I am quite proud of both of my children and my wife. I cannot say otherwise that there are no complaints.

Physically I am doing well, for which I am grateful. Of course there are the usual issues; thinning hair, a bit too much weight, and a slower jogging pace.
One poster, at the end of the "60" thread, Reflections on hitting 60 posted that "the warranty for your body runs out in your fifties.". I responded that "I purchased an extended warranty that seems to have been honored for at least 1 3/4 years. Hopefully a lot longer." I am actually down about 20 pounds since my 60th. I had been down 25 but the holiday season and short daylight happened. Oh well. But overall my blood pressure is lower, and I am down to taking blood pressure pills three, rather than seven, days a week. And I have recovered TIA on Halloween 2017 and taken low-dose aspirin to avoid a repeat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa View Post
The losses over the decade, however, or more profound and troubling. Going to my 50s, I was a long time member of a closely knit law firm. On the surface, everybody cared about everybody. With several notable exceptions, this was illusory. Several of the people have remained close and loyal, but the fabric was frayed and ultimately broke for reasons relating to developments in the practice of law.
The followup from this has been most interesting. One of the people who caused the rupture fared no better in the merger which he engineered and from whom my mentor and I fled. He was ousted on one-days' notice after he was back-stabbed. Now he's back with my mentor and I, who reconnected in May 2017. My mentor's loyalty was always strong and unquestioned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbgusa View Post
Without mincing words, the losses have been among family and friends. Certain of those losses are through death and illness.... Others mystify me more because I have always assumed that the need for friends was ingrained into the human psyche.

Instead, most people I have known a long time are on the surface friendly, but avoid or cannot wait to end conversations. Maybe it's technology. Maybe it's just being in the 50s and 60s. However, I do not want to be too negative since many of the friends and family members both that I have lost or that remain were good to me well beyond the call of duty on numerous occasions. I hope I returned the friendships amply.
Here, the email blast of the previous post, and a few direct discussions, have made this situation a lot better. All but one of the "major friendships" has been repaired.
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Old 01-02-2019, 03:49 PM
 
Location: New York Area
13,957 posts, read 5,523,444 times
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Any similar reflections on the New Year?
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Old 01-02-2019, 08:14 PM
 
2,842 posts, read 2,589,794 times
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Only 363 days until 2020! All the vision treatment and correction type companies are sitting on a once in a lifetime ad/marketing campaign....

If a "Numerologist" tries to say anything about 2019 being such and such ask them which calendar they are referring too... Gregorian reduces to "3", Jewish reduces to "1" etc...

Vargas women images are dancing in my mind as I try to be nicer to people I encounter in service jobs dealing with the general public and compliment those that are exceptional....

Everyday is a blessing as long as I have my health and the reckless, distracted and destructive are not near me...

Yesterday was New Years Day, so I am singing the The Beatles "Yesterday" to reflect...


Thanks for reminding me of a great song by Diana Ross!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV72YrB1454


and Marmalade
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFZr7siZbh0
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Old 01-03-2019, 09:07 AM
 
Location: New York Area
13,957 posts, read 5,523,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Only 363 days until 2020! All the vision treatment and correction type companies are sitting on a once in a lifetime ad/marketing campaign....
Great point. Sort of like 9/9/99 or 8/8/88. On the latter date the high temperature in NYC was in fact 88F. It was not 99 on 9/9/99, and the high was 75 on 7/7/77. However, I am sure there will be plenty of days in 2020 when it is 20F in January, February and December 2020 and 20C (68F) at some time in the day between March and October 2020 (and even some odd days in other months).
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
If a "Numerologist" tries to say anything about 2019 being such and such ask them which calendar they are referring too... Gregorian reduces to "3", Jewish reduces to "1" etc...
Explain please.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Vargas women images are dancing in my mind as I try to be nicer to people I encounter in service jobs dealing with the general public and compliment those that are exceptional....
Explain please.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Everyday is a blessing as long as I have my health and the reckless, distracted and destructive are not near me...
Quite true but there is always someone around who is distracted. Reckless and destructive are usually avoidable.
[/quote]Explain please. Yesterday was New Years Day, so I am singing the The Beatles "Yesterday" to reflect...[/quote]Fun fact, the working name of that song was "Scrambled Eggs."
[/quote]Explain please.Thanks for reminding me of a great song by Diana Ross!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV72YrB1454


and Marmalade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFZr7siZbh0[/quote]The first omitted the singing part. The Marmalade song was a great one-hit wonder in 1970.

Comments on my post?
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Old 01-03-2019, 09:53 PM
 
2,842 posts, read 2,589,794 times
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Your post is interesting and spun off the synaptic flow in my varied musing response.


The numerologist musing was to illustrate the importance of context (not everyone uses the same calendar, hence: 2+0+1+9 = 12 which reduced to single digit per numerology is 3

Jewish calendar at this time in 2019 is 5779 which in "numerologist" lingo reduces to 1
Chinese calendar 4716 at this time in 2019 would reduce to 9.

The numerology reference is also figurative in that by virtue of asking an anonymous audience on the internet for thoughts on something of your personal experience triggered the technique of how numerologist's will try to make something personal out of numbers to those they are 'reading'.


The "Vargas women images are dancing in my mind as I try to be nicer to people I encounter in service jobs dealing with the general public and compliment those that are exceptional...." is an effort to display a pleasant trigger (of my choosing) when encountering something unpleasant, and at the same time making an effort to reinforce the positive elements of what one encounters in everyday life.


The "Everyday is a blessing as long as I have my health and the reckless, distracted and destructive are not near me..." is a response to your health comments. In that, I am thankful to be physically healthy and am fortunate to have not had any errant distracted, reckless or malevolent person cause me harm.


I'm glad you are doing well health wise, but I don't know you at all other than you tend to post interesting things on the forums I often choose to peruse. And since you did not get a response, and were seeking one, decided to reward you with some mental stimulation and perhaps channel your 'reflective' mode by posting songs about reflections...


The "Yesterday was New Years Day, so I am singing the The Beatles "Yesterday" to reflect..." is my playful attempt at reflections recursive quality. A sort of taking a digital snapshot of one's point on the continuum that is City Data.



As for my personal reflections on your comments:
Can't speak directly to the mentor - 'mentee' law firm relationship dynamic, but can speak to the aging reflection topic. I'm about 8 years your junior and it hit me when my eldest sibling passed four years ago. As the youngest of large family the relationships with those I hold dear is more important in the quality of being together rather than worrying over perceived slights.


I think the aging process tends to bring out certain types of response: along the range of reinforcing or reestablishing old friendships before they disappear from loss of another or the moving on to (self perceived) positive interactions with those we feel a duty to interact with (coworkers, family, etc).



Another aspect is the sort of the season's It's A Wonderful Life feeling where we may consider that some mild positive interaction of paying it forward will have a cascading effect and reward someone else along the continuum.


I'll leave you with another classic song by the Hollie's in the spirit of my playful responses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYzfTdIZoP0


In a vignette, my rambling responses to your comment were a written attempt to transfer an experience from my youth when the lone elderly grandparent I had any shared history with - and who at times lived with us at my parents house in my teen years - casually tickled my feet while quietly walking by an engrossed teen curled up on the sofa reading an Agatha Christie mystery on her way to her favorite comfortable chair.


Have a Happy New Year jbgusa!
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Old 01-04-2019, 11:07 AM
 
Location: New York Area
13,957 posts, read 5,523,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Your post is interesting and spun off the synaptic flow in my varied musing response.*************

Have a Happy New Year jbgusa!
I still promise a response.

On another note a poster had a question about law firm economics and the forces that drove one firm with which I was associated to extinction, and two others to related difficulties. Note, I did not cause those difficulties.

OK, here goes.

During the "yuppie period" of the late 1980's investment banking began to take the "cream of the crop", meaning the top 10% of prestigious law schools and business schools alike. In 1984 $50,000 or so (from memory, maybe my numbers are wrong) was a top-tiered salary for a first year associate in a major law firm. That mushroomed to $200,000 or so (again from memory) by 1990, in response to "competition" from investment banks. In fact, a close friend left the practice of law for such an entity in September 1985. Hourly billing rates of first-year associates went up commensurately. No one gave a moment's thought to the impact of those billing rates on client bills. Also, office expenses ballooned. Big firms were taking ten or so floors of Park Avenue office space. That went into billing as well. At some point clients began to push back.

The first major firm to go under was Finley Kumble (nicknamed "Finley Crumble) in late 1987. Myerson Kuhn, baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn's firm, was not far behind. In March 1994 the venerable, old-line firm Shea & Gould (think Shea Stadium) went under. In May 2012, Dewey LeBouf (think former governor Thomas E. Dewey) went bankrupt. Below the surface of spectacular big-firm bankruptcies were small to mid-size firms such as ours, and the one into which we merged.

We were faced with the same pressures; unsustainable leases, and partners who considered themselves "entitled" to large salaries. Firm meetings concerning new ventures often turned into arguments about how to spend money expected in the future. In our case additional space was acquired in late 1997 which was rented out. In anticipation of additional business from a mortgage foreclosure defense operation those tenants were asked to leave. When the business did not materialize we merged into another firm, effective January 1, 2013. The new firm, counting the six attorneys and three secretaries from our firm that "survived" the merger, had 42 lawyers (Firm X). Within the year that had dwindled, if memory serves me, to 28. Given the prime White Plains office building in which we were located, this created tensions. My mentor squared off with another partner. Three of the partners from Firm X more or less back-stabbed my mentor, by siding with the other partner. The fight was petty; over which office to meet a new client we were introducing. Therefore we left for a larger, but still mid-sized mid-Manhattan firm, effective beginning of 2014 (Firm Y).

That firm, in hindsight, had peaked. This was aggravated by litigation against the firm generated by a past greedy partner who copped a guilty plea for tax fraud. I was out of the firm by the end of 2014. My mentor left in April 2017 and we reconnected. In the time between I survived with business I generated, and that both my mentor, still at Firm Y, and attorneys at Firm X sent my way.
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Old 01-04-2019, 11:20 AM
 
Location: New York Area
13,957 posts, read 5,523,444 times
Reputation: 11162
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Your post is interesting and spun off the synaptic flow in my varied musing response.
Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
The numerologist musing was to illustrate the importance of context (not everyone uses the same calendar, hence: 2+0+1+9 = 12 which reduced to single digit per numerology is 3
I may be a bit dense but I finally get it, I think.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Jewish calendar at this time in 2019 is 5779 which in "numerologist" lingo reduces to 1
Why wouldn't this be "zero" since 5 + 7 + 7 + 9 = 28, which goes to zero?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Chinese calendar 4716 at this time in 2019 would reduce to 9.
Got ot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
The numerology reference is also figurative in that by virtue of asking an anonymous audience on the internet for thoughts on something of your personal experience triggered the technique of how numerologist's will try to make something personal out of numbers to those they are 'reading'.
Not sure I understand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
The "Vargas women images are dancing in my mind as I try to be nicer to people I encounter in service jobs dealing with the general public and compliment those that are exceptional...." is an effort to display a pleasant trigger (of my choosing) when encountering something unpleasant, and at the same time making an effort to reinforce the positive elements of what one encounters in everyday life.
Not sure I understand.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
I'm glad you are doing well health wise, but I don't know you at all other than you tend to post interesting things on the forums I often choose to peruse. And since you did not get a response, and were seeking one, decided to reward you with some mental stimulation and perhaps channel your 'reflective' mode by posting songs about reflections...
Where else do you see my posts? Just curious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
As for my personal reflections on your comments:
Can't speak directly to the mentor - 'mentee' law firm relationship dynamic, but can speak to the aging reflection topic. I'm about 8 years your junior and it hit me when my eldest sibling passed four years ago. As the youngest of large family the relationships with those I hold dear is more important in the quality of being together rather than worrying over perceived slights.
The problem is that such slights can do serious damage to relationships.

For example, one of my two close friends severed our relationship over my voting for Hilary Clinton and not Trump. Since this person was a socialist in our college years and for long after I had no cause to believe that advertising that I voted for Clinton would be problematical. I got concerned when he pointed me to Alex Jones as his authority. While we reconnected, it's hard to reestablish trust that the person will be there for you in bad times as well as good when politics does that kind of damage.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
I think the aging process tends to bring out certain types of response: along the range of reinforcing or reestablishing old friendships before they disappear from loss of another or the moving on to (self perceived) positive interactions with those we feel a duty to interact with (coworkers, family, etc).
Quite true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
Another aspect is the sort of the season's It's A Wonderful Life feeling where we may consider that some mild positive interaction of paying it forward will have a cascading effect and reward someone else along the continuum.
Also quite true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
I'll leave you with another classic song by the Hollie's in the spirit of my playful responses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYzfTdIZoP0
A joke name for the song was "It's Not Heavy, It's My Blubber.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ciceropolo View Post
In a vignette, my rambling responses to your comment were a written attempt to transfer an experience from my youth when the lone elderly grandparent I had any shared history with - and who at times lived with us at my parents house in my teen years - casually tickled my feet while quietly walking by an engrossed teen curled up on the sofa reading an Agatha Christie mystery on her way to her favorite comfortable chair.

Have a Happy New Year jbgusa!
Thanks.
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Old 01-04-2019, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
52,692 posts, read 51,835,163 times
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I turned 60 this past year also, jbgusa. For me, it is a time of transition, one phase of life ending, another beginning. I am looking forward now to the change that has occurred, but there is some lingering emotion for what was. Not regret, not at all, but there is a song called Closing Time that includes the line, "Every new beginning is some other beginning's end."

Here's to good health and maybe a bit of adventure for all of us in the year to come.
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Old Today, 01:26 PM
 
Location: PA
625 posts, read 340,979 times
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Divorced guy 58 here. Been alone 7 years with the exception of what i consider couple flings with much younger women. My New Years Resolution is i am not making an effing new years resolution. Lol.

That being said, i would like to spend more time at the beach and the lake with my daughter and her family this summer. I would also like to spend a lot more time on my ATV i the mountains, and hang out at the weekend parties/campfire deal my younger friends have weekends in the spring, summer and fall. And yes, it would be nice to meet a gal.

However, realistically, i have no expections.
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