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To me, there is another side of that coin that goes sort of like this:
"Liberator is surrounded by one, two, three pursuit ships. They are using siege tactics, trying to knock down our shields until we are too week to run. Okay, this ship has done all of the firing, it will be low on power, so we don't have to worry about it. This ship has done none of firing, that's the command ship, that's where Travis is. Okay, we are going to go for it, not over or around, but through it."
If it, whatever it might be, comes down to it, I'm going to go through it. That's the only goal I see, a goal I believe in, without doubt. I am going through it.
A while back, others here on CD "armchair quarterbacked" me when I said that I trained that if I am biking on a country road and in side swiping me, if, they come back at full speed to finish me, then it is to empty the magazine into them. I was QB'd of "what if they are coming back at you to help?".
Even further back, when I commented how the auto stop collision system on cars now removes a defense against being abducted in your car. If someone tries that, you are to ram your car immediately into something, relying on the airbag to defend you while putting "him" through the windshield. The response? Better to have the anti collision for a more likely event over the ability to stop an abduction, a less likely event.
When you operate in this kind of world, you tend to see things a lot more serious with a lot less room for misunderstandings.
"I wonder what Tamara is going to say when I say I'm going to rape her?" Don't, never joke........or you will forfeit your nose in the blink of an eye.
Generally, Men don't pose a real threat to me. They may catcall to me, stare at me, or walk up to ask me out. But no man has ever put his hands on me or made me feel so uncomfortable that I had to run. They really don't have the chance to because I'm always on the go. But the stories I have heard over the years, have scared me straight. I don't really leave the house much besides to go to work and school for the most part. I never stay out to late and I never go to bad areas where things like harassment and violence are more likely to happen. However, I am still aware of my surroundings.
I check my mirrors when I'm driving to make sure I'm not being followed, I'm always watching out of the corner of my eye, I REALLY listen to/watch people when I'm talking to them, etc. It's more about people in general than, men specifically. I'm not just blatantly oblivious. When someone comes up to talk to me, I'm instantly on alert, so I think I'm a pretty cognizant and mindful person. In all my 25 years of being on this earth, I haven't been a victim of anything serious.
I don't have any issues with men and I don't think they are bad people. However, I do think there are circumstances they are set up with that make them behave in the manner they do sometimes, just like women are. So whenever, they do get into something, I attribute it more to it being about them, than me.
Generally, Men don't pose a real threat to me. They may catcall to me, stare at me, or walk up to ask me out. But no man has ever put his hands on me or made me feel so uncomfortable that I had to run.
That is "AFC"...automatic flight controls........where if instinct says FLIGHT, I go, I bolt, without a word or warning.
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They really don't have the chance to because I'm always on the go. But the stories I have heard over the years, have scared me straight. I don't really leave the house much besides to go to work and school for the most part. I never stay out to late and I never go to bad areas where things like harassment and violence are more likely to happen. However, I am still aware of my surroundings.
Okay, I will admit that a lot in the past and some in the present, I have operated in bad areas. Sometimes by choice, sometimes by orders (like when the ship put me on beach guard, alone, in an Italian port from 02 to 08). As such, I've developed tactics over the years, such as AFC, such as ducking into places that would make a tail feel uncomfortable to shake them, such as being a fraction of a second away from full weapons release, such as being able to convincingly lie in some responses "you will have to ask my Sire that".
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I check my mirrors when I'm driving to make sure I'm not being followed, I'm always watching out of the corner of my eye, I REALLY listen to/watch people when I'm talking to them, etc. It's more about people in general than, men specifically. I'm not just blatantly oblivious. When someone comes up to talk to me, I'm instantly on alert, so I think I'm a pretty cognizant and mindful person. In all my 25 years of being on this earth, I haven't been a victim of anything serious.
I would say about the same, including putting my pirouettes, my dance moves, into my walks so I am daily practicing how to check my 6......if not my spin response.
BUT, let me illuminate this, is it because of what we do, how we project, that it is a great part of why we are not victims?
I have been called hostile, unfriendly, others have looked at my lifestyle and said how tiring it must be, complimented on my prowess even when relaxed, called Hitler, told I overthink things, amazed others with my audacity, asked if I always want to be alone, tactless, etc, etc, etc.
SHRUG. It was the set of cards that life dealt me.......even if at times, I wonder.
Yes. My whole life. Now 56 yrs. I grew up in a metropolitan city, and learned from a young age to be aware of my surroundings. Be wary of men. Don't talk to strangers, and don't get in their cars. All of my street smart experiences had to do with men. Grown men. Teenage boys. Peers in grade school. ANY men.
I had NO issues with women or girls in that regards.
Exactly. And it starts early. You get leering looks or sketchy comments some where around puberty. Or earlier if you are “lucky.â€
It is possibly even worse if you are a black female because these warnings are accompanied with warnings to not be “fast-tailed†or dress provocatively because it will be your fault. And you will he blamed. Heaven forbid you develop earlier and hit puberty earlier, because then you are asking for it.
And it doesn’t seem to stop.
For example yesterday I got in an elevator. And older man gets in and says “hi cutie, you look really happy today.†He proceeds to try to interrogate me and it is a really slow elevator. I quicken Duc our when the ride is over yelling having a good day to close off the conversation. Sometimes these people are harmless. Sometimes they follownyoubaround. You have to vigilant and extra aware.
Exactly. And it starts early. You get leering looks or sketchy comments some where around puberty. Or earlier if you are “lucky.â€
It is possibly even worse if you are a black female because these warnings are accompanied with warnings to not be “fast-tailed†or dress provocatively because it will be your fault. And you will he blamed. Heaven forbid you develop earlier and hit puberty earlier, because then you are asking for it.
And it doesn’t seem to stop.
For example yesterday I got in an elevator. And older man gets in and says “hi cutie, you look really happy today.†He proceeds to try to interrogate me and it is a really slow elevator. I quicken Duc our when the ride is over yelling having a good day to close off the conversation. Sometimes these people are harmless. Sometimes they follownyoubaround. You have to vigilant and extra aware.
Just being a female, ANY age, apparently means we are "asking for it".
The internet has allowed me to read a lot of anecdotes from women on how threatened/harassed/menaced men can make them. About how they need to tell their friends/family where they go, how they need to always have an escape plan, how they cross the street if they are alone and a man is walking towards them, etc.
Is this (planning around the possible threat of an aggressive male) a universal part of the female experience?
As a young man, it's really jarring to hear, as I rarely worry about my safety. Is there a change you would like to see in men, in general?
Some males can make me feel that, but I don't do it just because someone is male.
I will tell people to "follow me" along my mapped out route if I'm moving, which I do a lot. I will give them the map route, I will give them my plans, and I call them if those plans change. When I cross a state line, they get a call. I call them each night when I'm stopped for the night, and tell them exactly where I am. They have my number, and they know, if I don't call that night, to call the police based on where they last heard from me.
As for "escape plan", that's just good to know for anything, not just because there's a male around. You never know...especially these days.
I'm not sure what other kind of "escape plan" you're talking about, unless maybe you're talking about those phony phone calls from the friend with the sudden emergency that you planned in advance as a chicken spit way out of a date you're not enjoying. That's not "escape" because it's dangerous, it's escape because the person is too spineless to say, "Yeah, you know, this just isn't working for me. Let's wrap this up."
I will cross the street if I get a bad vibe off of someone, male or female. But I don't make it obvious, either. I will slow down my walk if I'm getting a bad vibe, or someone keeps looking at me. Or I won't go from the side sidewalk to the main sidewalk without hesitating for a bit of time.
Example: Just yesterday, I was walking down the sidewalk of my complex, getting near the city sidewalk to walk to the store. A guy walking down that sidewalk kept looking at me. He wasn't staring, he just kept looking over at me as he walked. Well, suddenly I needed to tie my shoes. He still looked at me while I was doing that. So I tied them nice and slow, looking up at him through my bangs so he couldn't see I was seeing him look at me. And then I walked nice and slow to the main city sidewalk. By the time I got there, he was a good 100 or so meters in front of me. Good.
Was he dangerous? Who knows. I didn't get a vibe off of him. I also didn't want to talk to him, and that's what I feared more than anything dangerous - I did not want to have to have that stupid conversation of "you got a boyfriend? you married?" blah, blah, blah. I'd rather just pretend tie my shoes and let him get some distance from me.
Another thing I try to plan, is not staying out after midnight. Nothing good happens after midnight, so there's no reason to be out after midnight. (Unless you have a job and you need to be out there.)
And I don't have a tendency to walk alone when it's dark - I have, and frankly I look back and wonder wth I was thinking because that's just stupid, but it's not something I do regularly.
Frankly, I don't see how many of these are "because there are males" but more that they are things people might want to consider doing just for their own safety.
Exactly. And it starts early. You get leering looks or sketchy comments some where around puberty. Or earlier if you are “lucky.”
It is possibly even worse if you are a black female because these warnings are accompanied with warnings to not be “fast-tailed” or dress provocatively because it will be your fault. And you will he blamed. Heaven forbid you develop earlier and hit puberty earlier, because then you are asking for it.
And it doesn’t seem to stop.
For example yesterday I got in an elevator. And older man gets in and says “hi cutie, you look really happy today.” He proceeds to try to interrogate me and it is a really slow elevator. I quicken Duc our when the ride is over yelling having a good day to close off the conversation. Sometimes these people are harmless. Sometimes they follownyoubaround. You have to vigilant and extra aware.
Interestingly enough for me, it didn't start like that (or maybe it did for there are reasons to believe....) but when my family were on diplomatic passports, when I was 12, when my father told us that if kidnapped, the country won't be sacrificed for our ransom.
Where the taught response to "We have kidnapped your father, do this or else!" is......
"GO AHEAD! We have already picked the wine for the wake!"
You want to know what it is like to be target?
Now, on other fronts, I was reflecting on some of the dates I have had over the years, wondering if those who demanded more than they delivered or put me at risk did so because they were inconsiderate jerks or, perhaps, because they were men thought nothing of it because it wouldn't matter to them?
I think I will go with the former, though, for classifying people to a groupthink analysis probably isn't the best way to go about things.
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Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
.........And I don't have a tendency to walk alone when it's dark - I have, and frankly I look back and wonder wth I was thinking because that's just stupid, but it's not something I do regularly.
.....
Well, let's see. In the late Cold War, I was traveling Space A across the country. Landed at an airbase late at night and was told I had to check my 1911 in the armory. Hoofed it over there, checked it it, and went back to the terminal where the next flight was not expected till day break. Arrived there and the clerk at the desk told me if I could get my gun back, a MEDEVAC just came up and he could get me on it. Fast Hoofed it over, checked it out, and fasting hoofing it back with the 1911 in my bag, someone approached me asking for directions and I verbally cut him off at distance......that's where I was told I didn't have to be so hostile about thing.
In the 90s, out of the service, I was walking to work at midnight, lost in my thoughts (careless, careless, careless) when suddenly, there were thundering footfalls, the mind flashed TARGET!, and I spun 345, coming up in strike position to......
........a male jogger who leapt back with a "WHOA! TAKE IT EASY!".
Did he "do that" because he was male? I don't think so but rather because there are two myths in modern life that many people fall into.
First, "It will never happen to me.". Okay, that one is pretty well known.
Second, "Because I am not a threat, no one will perceive me as a threat."...........the basic point of the matter is that while one knows they are not, how does the other person know they are not?
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 01-14-2019 at 05:45 AM..
That is "AFC"...automatic flight controls........where if instinct says FLIGHT, I go, I bolt, without a word or warning.
When I saw the word "AFC", I thought of something completely unrelated: an abbreviation for "average frustrated chump". It's the mid 2000's equivalent (now deprecated) of what we now call a "beta male". Interestingly, it's the type of man very often seen as a dangerous threat by women, even though he generally lacks the physical strength to actually be a threat.
"AFC" as you used it sounds like an aviation term. I never heard it used that way before, but I'm sure it exists.
The internet has allowed me to read a lot of anecdotes from women on how threatened/harassed/menaced men can make them. About how they need to tell their friends/family where they go, how they need to always have an escape plan, how they cross the street if they are alone and a man is walking towards them, etc.
Is this (planning around the possible threat of an aggressive male) a universal part of the female experience?
As a young man, it's really jarring to hear, as I rarely worry about my safety. Is there a change you would like to see in men, in general?
Yes. This is a normal part of being a woman.
What really needs to be changed is the perception of who is responsible for any kind of assault, etc., against a woman. In other words, the world needs to stop blaming the victim for the behavior of the perpetrator, based on the fact that she happened to be somewhere, or was wearing a certain type of clothing, or was drinking etc.
We don't blame victims of other crimes, usually, for the behavior of the perpetrator. For instance, if a person gets robbed in a bad neighborhood, we don't normally tell them they deserved it or they don't deserve our sympathy or they don't deserve to prosecute the robber based on their stupidity for being in a bad neighborhood.
We need to put the blame of the behavior of the perpetrators - on the perpetrators. And stop blaming the victims for supposedly causing someone else's behavior.
Where else in the world is this remotely reasonable? What? That stranger ran up to you and shot you? Well, what was it about you that made him shoot you? You must have done something wrong if that random stranger shot you, so what did you do?
Can you imagine if this is how every victim of a crime was treated? Yet, this is how women who are victims of rape are treated. The first line of thinking is often, what did she do to cause the situation? Which, justifies the behavior of the attacker.
Let's put the blame where it belongs. If you are the person who hurts another person - hello - you are the guilty party.
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