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Old Yesterday, 01:07 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,437 times
Reputation: 10

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
Lol. Looks like the only one betraying you, is you.

"...but I move on fast...."

"Thankfully, I don't care if he was my first..."

"Just like I didn't care who was my first kiss..."



I don't get it. Can you please expand on that?
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Old Yesterday, 01:36 PM
 
5,207 posts, read 2,350,187 times
Reputation: 13254
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatUneed View Post
But isn't it fact that it is exactly my fault?
It's your gift to accept. Now how about choosing to be a bit more clear thinking.
At the "time" that you chose to engage in adult activity...it seemed okay from both your points of view.
Naturally your youth rarely considers what the future holds in such actions. That will come later in your path to maturity. I tend to find it silly to hide under the " well let's blame myself! That will clear this up.

Hindsight is always 20/20. What are you learning about your peers ? How are you adapting to this eye opening experience?

Best I can offer you is....accept accountability for your life ...refrain from idle gossip .
Blame equals shame. Neither are healthy ways to improve.

Enjoy these years...
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Old Yesterday, 01:36 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,437 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by chessimprov View Post
The pointed conversation with denial is when he says that "it's nothing to brag about to those people" as opposed to directly "I did not disclose the details with others."
I mean, he didn't directly say that. I checked the chat and translated our conversation:
- ... rumor spread all over school
- yeah this is exactly why i didn't talk about the relationship anywhere
- so the gossip came out of thin air?
- whoever told me anything about our relationship, said they heard it from you
- all I said was that we were together for 8 months and then WE broke up. Didn't even specify who ditched who and the only reason I said anything at all was because they already knew we were together and now we aren't, so I didn't think it mattered.
- I mean just think about it. Anyone who knows me finds out I had a relationship for 8 months...
- I get it yeah but there are some details I hear
- what details?
- why do person1 and person2 think I gave a **?
- I have no idea if they just think that or if they know it as fact. Actually even before we broke up those two pissed me off, joked with me saying you were pregnant, like you're on the 8th month and sh*t
- what the actual f*ck
- what do you even do when you hear all this sh*t?? How do you react?? Because honestly, I don't know how to react anymore. Some of it even sounds funny at this point.
- I just ignore it. What else can I do?
- Moments like these, I wish I was a boy
- Doesn't matter. It's the exact same mindf*ck. No difference whatsoever.
- Why not? You get points because you're that "cool dude"
- Meh, to each their own. In any case, I always try to not let word get out about things like this

So those were the texts we exchanged. Let me know if that changes your opinion on the matter
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Old Yesterday, 01:47 PM
 
18 posts, read 1,437 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
It's your gift to accept. Now how about choosing to be a bit more clear thinking.
At the "time" that you chose to engage in adult activity...it seemed okay from both your points of view.
Naturally your youth rarely considers what the future holds in such actions. That will come later in your path to maturity. I tend to find it silly to hide under the " well let's blame myself! That will clear this up.

Hindsight is always 20/20. What are you learning about your peers ? How are you adapting to this eye opening experience?

Best I can offer you is....accept accountability for your life ...refrain from idle gossip .
Blame equals shame. Neither are healthy ways to improve.

Enjoy these years...
Umm I learned that the public is ruthless, but that's not news. I don't even think anyone specific despises me. People are just bored and they need something to talk about or someone to shame so they can compare their mistakes to others and say: well at least I didn't do that.

Yes, I blame myself. I did this to myself. Nobody forced me to engage in any adult activity. My body language hinted that I wanted it, he took the hint and he went for it. I didn't stop him, we both did it, I don't regret it and I'll do it again one day. I'll just be smarter the next time and not turn my private life public. But in all this, key words are: I don't regret it (it being the whole ordeal, gossip spreading included). It happened, this does not define me.

Thanks for the advice btw
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Old Yesterday, 04:50 PM
Status: "securing our Northern border" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Bel Air, California
20,699 posts, read 20,902,420 times
Reputation: 32271
you need to conduct counter intelligence, tell each of the suspected moles an outlandish (but each one different) embarrassing story about yourself, when you (or your family) begin to hear back on what was revealed, you'll have your leaker!
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Old Yesterday, 05:46 PM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
2,030 posts, read 706,946 times
Reputation: 3449
Sheesh. Another fisherman
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Old Yesterday, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Dunwoody,GA
1,919 posts, read 4,623,316 times
Reputation: 2060
So, you made a choice to do something and you did it, presumably knowing that there was a chance people might hear about it from your BF (I know you say he's not the type to brag, but he is a teenage boy). AND you told a couple of people too. So you really can't be too shocked and outraged that the story is making the rounds. It's high school. That's what people in high school do.

If you don't want to be the subject of gossip, either don't do anything to make yourself the subject of gossip (the best option of all) OR pick a partner who won't kiss and tell (there are probably a very, very few of those in your age group). Now you know better, so do better.
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Old Yesterday, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Port Charlotte FL
948 posts, read 550,523 times
Reputation: 2641
you just lost your virginity...stop worrying about unnecessary gossip and start thinking about safe sex, std's and unwanted pregnancy..
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Old Today, 03:23 AM
 
5,207 posts, read 2,350,187 times
Reputation: 13254
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatUneed View Post
Umm I learned that the public is ruthless, but that's not news. I don't even think anyone specific despises me. People are just bored and they need something to talk about or someone to shame so they can compare their mistakes to others and say: well at least I didn't do that.

Yes, I blame myself. I did this to myself. Nobody forced me to engage in any adult activity. My body language hinted that I wanted it, he took the hint and he went for it. I didn't stop him, we both did it, I don't regret it and I'll do it again one day. I'll just be smarter the next time and not turn my private life public. But in all this, key words are: I don't regret it (it being the whole ordeal, gossip spreading included). It happened, this does not define me.

Thanks for the advice btw
Your are kindly welcomed! Please hold back on this blame game though. It was a choice. I respect that you accept your decision making....it means you are being responsible.

I dearly feel a sense of sorrow for your generation...so much of your lives are on display thru media...electronic devices...and social media. I cannot imagine how MUCH this must impact the essence of your self image.....

What has held steadfast in my personal life is : With due diligence evade doing/saying anything that could be printed or photographed that would bring shame to yourself or your loved ones. Kinda makes it a whole lot of EASY then to walk with head held at eye level. I'm guilty of slip of tongue at times...and as often reminded it does come back to roost.
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Old Today, 09:40 AM
 
18 posts, read 1,437 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
Your are kindly welcomed! Please hold back on this blame game though. It was a choice. I respect that you accept your decision making....it means you are being responsible.

I dearly feel a sense of sorrow for your generation...so much of your lives are on display thru media...electronic devices...and social media. I cannot imagine how MUCH this must impact the essence of your self image.....

What has held steadfast in my personal life is : With due diligence evade doing/saying anything that could be printed or photographed that would bring shame to yourself or your loved ones. Kinda makes it a whole lot of EASY then to walk with head held at eye level. I'm guilty of slip of tongue at times...and as often reminded it does come back to roost.
Yeah after all this, I'd be stupid not to be more careful
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