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Electrical engineering.
I do not dwell on these thoughts for too long unless I am really pissed off. I guess I am somewhat spiteful.
Just to clarify, I imagine those things when someone has annoyed me for a very long time or done something I consider cruel. Not bumping with someone while walking on the streets. And most of what I imagine I do so spontaneously.
Hi, Good posts from others...so I will say something diff.
( And I won't get into any spiritual stuff like I'd like to....like: they will have it come back to them, so
no need to dwell...or pray they realize what they are doing.)
If you have to think vengeful thoughts think funny vengeful thoughts...this comes from the book,
"Don't Get Mad , Get Even".
Stew over the thought that you are going to set a gallon jug of water in the sun for a few weeks filled with fish and shrimp parts....fill a squirt gun...squirt their car grill or home window AC, inside their car if windows open... or somewhere around their desk they can't find.
*DON'T DO IT...just imagine it...no bodily harm, see, none of this torture stuff.
Fantasize writing an ad: I need your old Xmas trees for mulch.Toss them on my lawn at *address* Thru Jan 15.
Then, *DON'T DO IT.
This is a good thing you are aware of what you are thinking and have asked advice...something
in you knows this is NOT a good thing.
I think having those thoughts is normal (at least for very imaginative people). I've had them. I've talked to plenty of people who vent about people who have done them wrong. Lot's of them make comments about their revenge fantasies, lots of those fantasies contain an element of violence to some degree.
I think however if you constantly dwell on those types of thoughts, or spend a lot of time embellishing scenarios, or actually find yourself considering doing anything about them you should seek help.
For example, some guys stole materials from our house when my family and I were building it.
I would like to take revenge on them if I could (which I could not), so I imagine things like putting them to sleep and using a driller to perforate their wrists and ankles so that they cant use their hands or walk again. I would let them live obviously.
That sort of stuff is what comes to my mind sometimes.
Yeah, that's definitely not normal or healthy, and a very extreme thought for something like petty theft. You should talk to a professional.
It’s no big deal as long as you don’t act on your fantasies. Relax.
And if someday his fantasies aren't enough and he does act it? Then it will be too late. These are not normal or healthy thoughts to have, he needs help now, before it's too late. Even if he never acts on it, such unhealthy thoughts do not suggest good mental health in general and who knows how that might be influencing his relationships with others, or his own happiness and mental well being. For so many reasons, this is not something to ignore or brush off as "no big deal", and your suggestion of that is really irresponsible.
As any person sometimes I am bothered by things people do to me with ill intentions. Sometimes I fantasize about doing very, very cruel things to them. A lot worse than what they do to me. Most of the things I imagine are physical tortures. This happens from time to time, specially when I focus on the things they have done to me. Is this kind of behavior normal in the majority of people/males or should I try to change this behavior?
I carry a weapon for self-defense, so I have done the psychological test for it multiple times, which I guess means I am not crazy. Outside of my fantasies I am a very calmed person. I always avoid fighting, and getting angry to the point of losing control almost never happens. So I wonder why there is such a huge difference between my behavior in real life and what I fantasize sometimes.
I think having those thoughts is normal (at least for very imaginative people). I've had them. I've talked to plenty of people who vent about people who have done them wrong. Lot's of them make comments about their revenge fantasies, lots of those fantasies contain an element of violence to some degree.
I think however if you constantly dwell on those types of thoughts, or spend a lot of time embellishing scenarios, or actually find yourself considering doing anything about them you should seek help.
Really, you think it's normal to fantasize about drilling holes in people's wrists and ankles so they can never walk or use their hands ever again, just because they committed petty theft?
I agree that revenge fantasies are fairly normal, and sometimes they may even involve violence, like punching someone in the nose. But this is precisely why I asked the OP to give us an specific example of what he imagines - because there's a line, and frankly I think anyone who thinks the OP hasn't crossed it probably needs therapy themselves too.
Really, you think it's normal to fantasize about drilling holes in people's wrists and ankles so they can never walk or use their hands ever again, just because they committed petty theft?
I agree that revenge fantasies are fairly normal, and sometimes they may even involve violence, like punching someone in the nose. But this is precisely why I asked the OP to give us an specific example of what he imagines - because there's a line, and frankly I think anyone who thinks the OP hasn't crossed it probably needs therapy themselves too.
People like to confide in me. It's not that uncommon for them to talk about what they'd like to see happen to a cheating spouse, someone who cost them a job or a promotion, scammed them out of a lot of money, etc. The most common revenge fantasies I hear seem to involve baseball bats or automobiles but the desire to physically hurt/maim/kill someone in the fantasy seems to be on par with OP's fantasy. Mostly I just see it as a way to work through their anger and resentment, not the expression of an actual desire.
People like to confide in me. It's not that uncommon for them to talk about what they'd like to see happen to a cheating spouse, someone who cost them a job or a promotion, scammed them out of a lot of money, etc. The most common revenge fantasies I hear seem to involve baseball bats or automobiles but the desire to physically hurt/maim/kill someone in the fantasy seems to be on par with OP's fantasy. Mostly I just see it as a way to work through their anger and resentment, not the expression of an actual desire.
I didn't ask if you thought it was common. And while I still don't think it's healthy, all those examples are of much greater harm being done to the victim to trigger the revenge fantasies than a simply petty theft of some "materials". The OP's fantasy revenge is way, way out of proportion of the "crime". Additionally, your examples sound like singular, emotional incidents the "victim" goes through where they might be thinking these things, but eventually they move passed it. The OP describes his thoughts as "regular", and over much, much smaller offenses.
I admit it's not unusual for me to think/say I would like to punch someone in particular in the face, but that's a far cry from dreaming about drilling holes in someone's body and leaving them permanently and severely disabled for the rest of their life. I don't care if it's common or not, it's not healthy, especially to think about this "regularly". There's lots of people out there who don't have good mental health (whether in general, or just at the moment), and just because it's common doesn't mean they don't need therapy.
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