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Old 01-11-2019, 05:24 PM
 
4 posts, read 916 times
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Hi,

I am a 23 year old male. University student.

As any person sometimes I am bothered by things people do to me with ill intentions. Sometimes I fantasize about doing very, very cruel things to them. A lot worse than what they do to me. Most of the things I imagine are physical tortures. This happens from time to time, specially when I focus on the things they have done to me. Is this kind of behavior normal in the majority of people/males or should I try to change this behavior?

I carry a weapon for self-defense, so I have done the psychological test for it multiple times, which I guess means I am not crazy. Outside of my fantasies I am a very calmed person. I always avoid fighting, and getting angry to the point of losing control almost never happens. So I wonder why there is such a huge difference between my behavior in real life and what I fantasize sometimes.
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Old 01-11-2019, 05:39 PM
Status: "waiting for God," I am female" (set 17 hours ago)
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,653 posts, read 1,903,942 times
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I think it kind of depends on how much your fantasize about these things. If it is a passing thing when someone hurts you, that is one thing, if it is more like you Keep fantasizing, to the point of how you would do whatever etc. then you may have a problem.

I had someone hurt me very badly and I did think about how I would like to get even with them, but it was a passing thought.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:25 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,663 posts, read 1,302,613 times
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Nope - not normal - except for being angry at the time and maybe when you are processing it again - but not seeking revenge on people. That is not healthy. See a mental health professional, ASAP - there is a "warm line" you can call to talk to people in the meantime.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:26 PM
 
Location: planet earth
3,663 posts, read 1,302,613 times
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Look into CBT therapy to change those thoughts to "better feeling," more positive thoughts.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:28 PM
 
Location: SC
8,435 posts, read 5,216,612 times
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No. not at all - seek help.
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:34 PM
 
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I think the key is how long the fantasy lasts, and whether it makes you laugh inside of feel evil.

I have fleeting thoughts regularly of something that would be really funny, but kind of mean, to do to someone, not even someone who I dislike.

For example, I have thought before in the grocery store, as I see another customer's cart, what one thing could I remove from their cart secretly as they looked away, that would make the most devastating impact once they got home? When I told my brother that, he said OR, what item could you put IN there that would cause the most problem? Haha. GMTA.

I've also thought, when waiting FOREVER behind someone in the fast food drive up line, how fun it would be to very gently put my front bumper against their car and move them forward, so I can now access the take out window and they're done. Cracks me up even typing that.

But no, I don't think about torturing people. Except I did think in high school it would be a riot to sneak into the home of this girl who was hostile to me and empty out her hair conditioner and replace it with Nair, that would make all her hair fall out. That cracked me up too, and then I moved on.

But yeah, OP, in rereading your initial post, it does sound very disturbed. You're not thinking quick things to make yourself laugh, you're dwelling on horrible tortures.

And no, I don't think many people do that. Except people who eventually act out on their obsession of hurting people more than they've been hurt by them.
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Old 01-11-2019, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Riding a rock floating through space
1,001 posts, read 267,065 times
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Mod cut.

Op, you know better than anyone if you believe there is a possiblity of putting these fantasies into reality. Seek help if you feel control slipping, your enemies are not worth ruining the rest of your life - and becoming the monster isn't going to do any good for your karma. The thing you need to ask yourself is how much time and energy are you going to allow these scumbags to steal from your peace?

Last edited by PJSaturn; Yesterday at 12:32 AM.. Reason: Personal attack.
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Old 01-11-2019, 09:22 PM
 
10,683 posts, read 7,783,453 times
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Your mind probably works very fast. You're probably really smart. And imaginative. What are you studying?
I think it's normal for some people. Of course acting on those thoughts is a whole 'nother thing!
Believe it or not, it is possible to control one's thoughts.
Do that.
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:28 PM
 
674 posts, read 159,737 times
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How are people hurting you? Beating you up or turning you down for a date or telling you they don't like your shirt? If they are sticking your head in a toilet it would make more sense to fantasize about torture than if they just don't want to hang out with you. Hurt feelings shouldn't matter that much.
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:31 PM
 
5,058 posts, read 5,595,046 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by king01 View Post

I am a 23 year old male. University student.

As any person sometimes I am bothered by things people do to me with ill intentions. Sometimes I fantasize about doing very, very cruel things to them. A lot worse than what they do to me. Most of the things I imagine are physical tortures. This happens from time to time, specially when I focus on the things they have done to me. Is this kind of behavior normal in the majority of people/males or should I try to change this behavior?
I'm not much of a pushover, but when anyone does or says something nasty to me, my immediate thought is to give them a piece of my mind and read them the riot act.

I don't fantasize about physically torturing someone for everyday sorts of mean behavior!

I think the closest I've come to that, would be when I've heard of a horrific violent crime, I've had fleeting thoughts of physical punishment to equal what the violent criminal dished out to the victim. But most of those thoughts were when I was younger. I don't even believe in the death penalty - I just want violent criminals put away where they can't hurt anyone else.

So, I would say that your reaction is concerning. I think you should see a therapist and get to the bottom of it. You can change.

Is this behavior normal in the majority of males? I don't know, but it would explain the world we live in. I'm sick of violence and suffering in this world. Aren't you?
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