Do men like porn more than women? (mom, woman, relationship)

[gouligann]

The short and sweet:

Men can get an erection just thinking about sex or having a long kiss with body contact.
Most women need physical stimulation to get anywhere nearly as sexually excited so easily, other than maybe when you are first starting out into a relationship .

To me, porn is nothing to get turned on over. Two people (or however many) going at it ee, ee, ee, ee, ee, with their faces looking like they are doing the laundry. LOL Just not my cuppa joe!

[steveklein]

Part of it is that >99% of porn is created with male consumers in mind.

It may be a bit of a chicken/egg issue in terms of why porn is produced a certain way and why men like it more...

...But I think that's the primary issue.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by gizmo980

Yeah, because it's trash. And I don't say that because of the content - it's the WRITING that is so bad, I thought it was satirical at first. I only read it out of curiosity, since as a librarian, I like to know what all the hype is about when a book is that popular. I think people who enjoyed it have never read any GOOD erotica, and were just excited about reading something racy without being judged. I've recommended other books to people looking for that, like the Sleeping Beauty quartet by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice's pseudonym). If you're going to go that route, at least go with something that's well-written!

And yes, it's true that men are more visually-stimulated while women (typically) prefer a story... maybe we're better at creating our own fantasies, while men need it spoon-fed to them. No offense to men, but our brains are just wired differently.

As someone in "the lifestyle" who also abhors 50 Shades on the grounds of not just terrible writing but consent problems...

(The joke, by the way, is, "Inquiring minds want to know~ Was your abuse of the English language a sort of metaphor for S&M? And if so, can you please let us know what the safeword is?")

And speaking purely to you as a librarian, I also would recommend Jacqueline Carey. She really puts consent forefront with it being a matter of "heresy" in the primary culture to violate it. It's one of those not-quite-historical fiction pieces where she creates a fictitious world that is loosely but obviously based on real geography and history. Lots of adventure, well written, good story, and hot sexual content with enough of an edge to interest those who are, well, interested in such things.

The one and only thing that people involved in the real deal like about 50 Shades, is that apparently in the movie (I never saw it) the guy's play room was really well put together. Someone had a budget and knew what they were doing. That's really it though. People like "The Secretary" more, though I got annoyed when the guy flaked out and went all weird just as stuff seemed to be getting good. Frankly it reminded me of at least one short term relationship I had, a bit too much for comfort.

And speaking of things that remind one of other things...most porn reminds me of the most uninspired and un-fun sex I have had in my life. Maybe that's another reason I'd rather skip it and do pretty much anything else with my time.

[Chicago South Sider]

I don't know about porn but women enjoy sex more than men do on average.

[gouligann]

Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider

I don't know about porn but women enjoy sex more than men do on average.

I think a lot depends on what age group you are talking about.

[Sonic_Spork]

Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider

I don't know about porn but women enjoy sex more than men do on average.

You know, after talking to so many people about sexuality, I kinda agree but not completely...and I'd put it a different way.

After a man has good, satisfying sex, he's well...satisfied. He might not want it again really soon. He might even feel a desire to be away from the partner he just had it with, if he isn't emotionally attached to her.

After a woman has sex, if it's satisfying and good, she is going to want more. More now. More in five minutes. More in an hour. More tomorrow. And the more GOOD sex we have, the more we want to have.

Unfortunately the opposite is kinda true, too.

If a woman in a relationship isn't able to have sex with a partner as much for a while, it's too easy for us to start a kind of slide to where we need and want it, less and less and less. The less we're getting, the less we even care. And bad sex isn't even worth having at all.

It was interesting reading a book my boyfriend lent me on Tao and sex, because it said in there that women's sexual energy is pretty much infinite, but men's is finite and easily exhausted. It said that men should pleasure women extensively while holding back and trying not to "finish," themselves, lest they exhaust their Yang.

Y'know guys? So maybe be careful with the porn, huh? Nobody likes an exhausted yang...

[ironpony]

Oh this is kind of the opposite of my experience cause in my experience I have all this energy and sometimes want to go for 2-3 of hours, but the woman is exhausted and wants to be done in just 30 minutes to an hour tops, it seems.

[Nov3]

An endearing friend was a dating a nice chap. One evening they were discussing this topic. The difference of opinions led to their first fight. He insisted she just didn't understand how visually delighting it was!

So the next evening he called home trying to smooth things over. He said...darling ...just keep the dinner warmed up! I have an errand to run. In he waltz with a bouquet of flowers...Ahhh what a gesture he thought. He looks at the table setting. ..candles...two plates and a bottle of wine. Out she comes with a stunning dress. He sits down...and she hands him a lovely...Magazine. It was filled with cuisine style food. He seemed confused. She said...dear...I know how hungry you are...so I figured you can visually drool over a few meals. If your still hungry maybe you can visually imagine being full.
That is still a laugh to hear them share that story. Married 30 years and I'm pretty sure he learned his lesson that night.
Women may well be the logical and reasonable one after all.
As a lady it's boring...
Can't even understand how a gendetr can find it anything worthy of investing time . ..

[Rocko20]

Yes, as already stated

In men, visual stimulation leads quickly to sexual arousal, and with that chain of arousal often comes a desire to be stimulated to orgasm. In that sense, arousal and desire are very closely related, and it’s one of the reasons that Viagra has been so successful with men: Give a guy an erection and he basically wants to use it. In men, porn initiates the “sexual-circuit” very quickly.

With women, however, the use of porn or the desire/decision to have an orgasm is often less opportunistic. A woman may see something super-sexy, and recognize it as sexy, and even arousing, but that doesn’t mean she’s necessarily going to stop what she’s doing to stimulate herself to orgasm.

Do women like porn as much as men? – The Chart - CNN.com Blogs

[ClaraC]

Originally Posted by sad_hotline

I assume so, considering there is a "female-friendly" niche category now gaining traction, which suggests that women are in the minority of viewers.

However, I would argue that women love their own version of porn: romance novels. Yes ladies, I have seen what you read. Those compact novels with the shirtless muscle-bound man on the cover tell me more than enough about your interests. You are not saints!

Not all women read Romance Porn, like Harlequin Romances. I read a few in high school - I wonder if they've changed since.

So formula.

There's a woman who's independent, smart, confident. And she has to work with an assh&l# guy who is ravishingly good looking and competent, but rude and dismissive of her.

This goes on and on, his barbs and cutting comments continue.

Finally, he rapes her and then declares he's absolute mush in her presence, shamelessly and hopelessly in love with her.

Gads.

What drivel.

Only the names changed. The plot remained the same.