Why are quiet people picked on so much? (introvert, dating, thoughts)
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A few weeks ago, you may have heard about a meeting Trump held with Pence, Pelosi, and Schumer in the Oval Office regarding the shutdown.
A lot was made of the fact that Pence was in the room, but didn't say a word. I saw people on Facebook cracking jokes along the lines of, "Pence had a lot to say in the meeting."
I was reminded of that meeting after sitting in one of my own this morning at work.
As an introvert, I like to listen to what's said, review my notes, and later voice any questions/comments. It's just my style. I don't ordinarily do it all on the fly.
The meeting was boring and rather pointless because the head honcho who has to make the ultimate decision is out on vacation.
Regardless, it was a lot of information to take in, and the meeting was headed by an upbeat, talkative guy who works in a different department.
Once we were done, my boss asked half-jokingly, "You got all of that?" And then the garrulous guy jumped in and exclaimed, "Quiet down, you! Try to keep a low profile."
Here are a few questions I wanted to run by you guys:
1. When someone is quiet, do you think it makes people around him or her feel insecure? Are they wondering "Is this guy hatching a plot to kill us all?"
2. Do you think being in a group setting makes people more disposed toward "picking on" quiet people? I find that when it's just you and that one person, there's no audience to entertain and thus no validation to get from the jokes (e.g., no one else is there to laugh), so people are not as likely to do it.
3. What are some witty comebacks to have in mind when people pull this stunt? Is it best to resort to self-deprecating humor? ("I know I talked your ear off. Wear headphones next time.")
He is the Vice President And has no problem speaking publicly or in meetings , absolutely no comparison to your situation or concern other than maybe both your bosses are bullies.
Fair point, but it seems being quiet has a more negative connotation than being talkative, at least in the workplace.
I don't agree - everybody hates the jackass who talks too much and won't let anybody else get a word in edgewise. The one making fun of the quiet one is probably that clueless jackass, actually.
To me, the quiet person who takes time to consider their words, or to absorb the information, is the one I like to hear from.
I do not think the problems you are encountering with being heard are because your bosses are extroverts, but because they are bullies.
I do think you might want to be persistent about sharing important questions or thoughts.
There are always people who will try to run roughshod over others. You encounter them everywhere. You will have to learn to deal with them so you are not victimized.
Here's something else to consider - many quiet, introverted people are very intelligent. They can be a bit of a nerd. They're often introspective. Sometimes shy or a bit awkward. These can be signs of high intelligence. Many people are put off by brainy individuals. Brains are something that can be very intimidating, and some don't know how to deal with that. They become uncomfortable.
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