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Old Yesterday, 11:46 AM
 
23 posts, read 2,191 times
Reputation: 15

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They start off giving you attention, but some of them just suddenly stop texting you or asking you out.

I know that one of the reasons for this is giving them a lot of privileges too quickly which makes you seem easy and uninteresting. Another reason is not giving them enough attention/affection.

It's just something I kinda understand but at the same time don't understand about men and I was hoping someone could clear it up for me. Like, what kind of thought process makes them forget a girl entirely?

The latest example in my life was this one boy I met in October. I took the initiative to add him on Facebook, but the rest of the initiative came from him. He asked me to hang out about 4-5 times since and we did, but nothing romantic ever really happened. I definitely felt some flirty undertones every single time we went out, but he felt too shy to let it go any further than a few simple compliments like "you're so cute" and such (he's texted these compliments to me as well). He was clearly having a lot of fun with me. He kept commenting on how weird and crazy I am (and clarifying he means it in a good way every single time) and it left me with the impression that he's not used to someone as energetic and active as me, which makes me seem very interesting in his eyes. He also thinks I'm intelligent. As for the conversations we have, I try to keep both online and irl convos funny and interesting. I think the only serious conversation we've had was when we were texting and he shifted the theme to talking about exes, told me about his, asked for my opinion on it, asked me about mine, etc.

Last time he texted me, he asked me out again, but he cancelled the day before we went out, told me he's sick and can't go out, this was in early December. Since then, he congratulated me in mid December about some Orthodox Christian holiday and that's about it. Haven't heard from him after that.

PS, no I have never texted him first. Not that I think it's wrong for a girl to text first, but it's just how I am with everyone, only exclusion is my fam.
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Old Yesterday, 01:08 PM
 
4,942 posts, read 1,718,221 times
Reputation: 11591
Honestly, I think he probably just met someone else.


Easier said than done probably, but I wouldn't take it too personally. (But if he'd done that to ME, he wouldn't get a second chance. I totally get that dating is a competition sometimes...and I understand that I won't measure up to some other girl every time...but I'm not going to be anyone's sloppy seconds either. I'm kind of like "Sorry dude. You had your chance."
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Old Yesterday, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
21,830 posts, read 23,197,305 times
Reputation: 46520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Honestly, I think he probably just met someone else.
That, and perhaps he felt the OP wasn't making enough of an effort.
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Old Yesterday, 01:22 PM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
27,326 posts, read 59,254,744 times
Reputation: 30139
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatUneed View Post
They start off giving you attention, but some of them just suddenly stop texting you or asking you out.
Why? Someone new or someone old ... like their GF or wife
-OR- they learned something about you that suppressed their interest.

Move on. Both happen every day.
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Old Yesterday, 01:31 PM
Status: "Was it for this my life I sought?" (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
7,170 posts, read 2,739,768 times
Reputation: 13183
If we can all agree to never text first maybe we can end this whole texting thing once and for all.
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Old Yesterday, 01:35 PM
 
9,589 posts, read 4,067,208 times
Reputation: 14304
does it surprise you when other people get tired of waiting?

you suspected he wanted to flirt with you, but you never stopped it or acknowledged it, and now you feels bad that he stopped putting in the effort to flirt with you?

ask him out on a date, and he will respond. otherwise move on with your life
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Old Yesterday, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Chicago
321 posts, read 77,359 times
Reputation: 703
Men in my life never have a habit of disappearing, but i chase back enough to keep them interested. You enjoy being chased and they chased until they got bored of the one sided relationship. If you liked him you should take the initiative and text first.

When I have connected with guys, i generally lead the conversation, guys like talking about themselves which i have no problem with. I will ask them questions, the ones that make it all about them and never try to get to know a little about me are the ones i drop within the first few exchanges. All forms of relationships are a two way street.
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Old Yesterday, 02:01 PM
 
1 posts, read 141 times
Reputation: 11
Hi there! Every woman should feel herself and should be seen in man's eyes as a trophy, but in this situation, as you wrote this "shy guy" didn't feel ok to do all the job. Next time, please if you have some interest in somebody swallow this bitter bite called "pride" and show some attention if you have! I promise you, it'd be better
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Old Yesterday, 02:22 PM
 
839 posts, read 993,684 times
Reputation: 1757
This is far from being a "guy thing". I've had several interactions with women over the years where they do the exact same thing.

I always racked it up to people wanting to avoid conflict at all costs, and few people having the ability to effectively communicate. They assume that merely mentioning an issue will make the other person upset, and feel that just disappearing is the easy way out.

On the other hand, my most recent...well, I suppose chase isn't a horrible way of describing it, lol...I was the one that disappeared. Much like ellybelly83 mentioned, it felt like a 1 sided relationship, and I felt like she wasn't interested based on her behavior. So I stopped calling and visiting. I wouldn't want a forced relationship anyways....
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Old Yesterday, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,369 posts, read 3,822,824 times
Reputation: 14145
OP, why don't you text him back right NOW... hiya, how are you doing? haven't heard from you for a while. Anything new going on?

Then wait and see how he responds. He might be mistaken in thinking that you weren't, or aren't interested in him. If you hear back from him, good, if you don't, then move on. You can at least say you tried.
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