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I think you're basically talking about justice. I have no problem with people getting just sentences - whether they be from a legal trial in the courts, or the "court" of a social group who may just cut them off, ostracize them, etc.
He's talking about what we currently consider to be 'justice', yes. Should we? My initial response to the OP was to agree that I feel those same feelings, but I try to tell myself to overcome them in an effort to be a better person. Not trying to be sanctimonious, as I am probably/certainly a terrible person like anyone else, but I think humans err when they punish others mostly by presuming they're somehow not also terrible at core. (Yes, I am a misanthrope, ultimately). The better way in my estimation is to be able to laugh off and/or 'understand' just about anything that is done. Easier said than done, but to make that one's life project is kind of a worthy goal. I don't really like the limitations of traditional systems of morality; think that we'd be best off adopting some hybrid of philosophical utilitarianism and some sort of yet-to-be-defined 'I can empathize with that 'criminal' better than you can' socially reinforced 'competition' where people are essentially encouraged to imagine (often) how they might act were their circumstances massively different from what their current circumstances are.
I think you're basically talking about justice. I have no problem with people getting just sentences - whether they be from a legal trial in the courts, or the "court" of a social group who may just cut them off, ostracize them, etc.
I'm talking about the slob of a woman who works down the street from us and was throwing her trash on my street ... The first time she did it, I put it on her windshield and, of course, she threw it back on the street.
I swept it up and let it go, but to be spiteful, the next day she left a large bag of dinner trash in the street around the corner.
At this point I was going to cause damage to her car, but I let that go, too.
A week later, because she hadn't been paying her parking tickets, the city put a boot on her car. She got hers', the wife and I were happy she did and I didn't have to do a thing. I haven't seen the car, so I think she may no longer work there.
I actually don't take joy in these situations but that doesn't make me a better person. As somebody who comes from a poor, abusive culture and who was lucky enough to lift myself out of that culture, I understand now why it happened. While specific people took pleasure from those exact moments they were mean to me, their life in general sucked and it was mostly self-inflicted. I think that is a sad way to live one's life.
I do expect people to reap what they sow unless they change their ways. But I don't expect them to understand why their misfortune occurs. That is why I take no pleasure.
I had an experience when I was sixteen that gave me pause about taking satisfaction in other peoples' misfortune. It's something that has haunted me and proved a good lesson.
I was working at the local drive-in. My bosses were two young women scarcely any older than I, college girls managing the place for summer vacation. One of them was on my case all the time. It was just one of those abrasive conflicts people sometimes have. New to the world of working with people you don't get along with I took it personally.
One night I came to work and someone asked, "Did you hear what happened to X last night?" And without thought I snarked, "Well, whatever it was it couldn't have been bad enough."
The young woman had been killed in a car crash a few miles from where we were working.
I didn't grieve her but I was mortified that I had said that. What kind of a person would think like that? It bothered me for a long time.
Since then I've developed a philosophical bent toward those folks. Either they improve and become more tolerable or they continue to deteriorate and their bad habits catch up with them. I prefer the former because when we all do better, we all do better. LOL
I get a sense of satisfaction when bad things happen to people who mistreated me or wronged me in the past. I
It's perfectly okay to feel that way. You don't need anyone else's approval for your feelings. Many people deserve what's coming to them. I knew a horrible bully in school and he had a violent streak. He came from a wealthy family so the school turned a blind eye to anything he did. His grandfather had been a U.S. senator. Years later, I heard that he got a felony conviction in his third year of law school, couldn't take the bar exam and could never practice law. I laughed about it. I think he became a personal trainer or something like that, can't remember. I was also relieved that he never had any children. He didn't deserve to be a parent nor would he have made a good one. I don't really care what anyone thinks. I don't need or want anyone's approval for my feelings.
I like that perspective. It gives a rational response to modern day injustices .
I'm still waiting for my Foster Mom to get her comeuppance. She harmed (physically and mentally) ALOT of kids that were fostered while in her home. Mind you its been close to 40 years....but that just means i'm a few months or a few years til something comes along to balance out her dreadful existance. Sometimes though I think that her experience when she was 18 led her to treat others just as her assailants did to her. She repeated their behavior without a conscious effort. Sick.
That is truly awful. Was she fostering to get money from it? Just curious. One of my biggest fears is that if me and my spouse died, our children would wind up in foster care. Although I'm sure there are some great foster parents out there, there are also many abuse/neglect stories too.
I have a superficially-pleasant but narcissistic neighbor, a relatively-recent addition to the neighborhood, who has made it her life's mission to harass another neighbor. The victim is an elderly woman who keeps very much to herself and tries to keep the details of her life private. I've known her for several decades and didn't even know she had been fighting a serious disease until years after the fact.
As their properties are adjoining, the narc wanted to buy a strip of land from my elderly neighbor. She refused politely. And since then it has been all-out war, with the narc trying to get the city out to cite her on violations both real (but seldom enforced) and imagined. Of course the narc complains about her nonstop to the other neighbors, who are no doubt tired of hearing about it.
Maybe I'm a bad person for thinking this but I wouldn't shed a tear if the narc were hit by a bus.
It's perfectly okay to feel that way. You don't need anyone else's approval for your feelings. Many people deserve what's coming to them. I knew a horrible bully in school and he had a violent streak. He came from a wealthy family so the school turned a blind eye to anything he did. His grandfather had been a U.S. senator. Years later, I heard that he got a felony conviction in his third year of law school, couldn't take the bar exam and could never practice law. I laughed about it. I think he became a personal trainer or something like that, can't remember. I was also relieved that he never had any children. He didn't deserve to be a parent nor would he have made a good one. I don't really care what anyone thinks. I don't need or want anyone's approval for my feelings.
I like the way you think.
I just had a neighbor, a no good, lazy, drunken, drug-addled man, who was a nasty kid, lose his kids (they are with family, they'll be fine) and place of residence.
Always had something mean to say as a kid, because his family had come into some money (long gone, btw). Always picking at others' clothes, that sort of thing ... Last I saw him, a few weeks back, he was pushing a cart down a deserted street, looking for scrap.
He's in rehab as I type this. His sister, who owns the house he was living in with the mother, moved the mother into a better situation, changed the locks and is rehabbing the house to sell.
She's happy to be rid of him and, although I do hope he gets his act together, I hope to not see him in the neighborhood again. Eff him if he becomes homeless.
It's perfectly okay to feel that way. You don't need anyone else's approval for your feelings. Many people deserve what's coming to them. I knew a horrible bully in school and he had a violent streak. He came from a wealthy family so the school turned a blind eye to anything he did. His grandfather had been a U.S. senator. Years later, I heard that he got a felony conviction in his third year of law school, couldn't take the bar exam and could never practice law. I laughed about it. I think he became a personal trainer or something like that, can't remember. I was also relieved that he never had any children. He didn't deserve to be a parent nor would he have made a good one. I don't really care what anyone thinks. I don't need or want anyone's approval for my feelings.
I have a wicked mean-streak and was kind of glad to hear that two jerks from way back died of cancer in their twenties. I know, it's horrible ... I sometimes wonder what's going to happen to me where I 'get mine.' LOL!
I've apologized to people (it was only a couple) as an adult for doing 'd*ck' things to them in the past. I try to be a better person every day.
Always had something mean to say as a kid, because his family had come into some money (long gone, btw). Always picking at others' clothes, that sort of thing ... Last I saw him, a few weeks back, he was pushing a cart down a deserted street, looking for scrap.
.
He must have really screwed up with his money to wind up like that. If it was drug or alcohol addiction, that pretty much explains it.
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