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Old 03-16-2019, 04:58 PM
 
Location: New Zealand
129 posts, read 33,630 times
Reputation: 274

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
If the goal is optimal mental health (which I assume it is for most people), it’s not prudent to ‘store’ things in a ‘mental box’ (never know when, or how, it may come out of its ‘box’). It’s best, in my opinion, to resolve it - and restore balance (and truly let go).
Totally agree.
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Old 03-16-2019, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Wilmington, NC
1,922 posts, read 340,539 times
Reputation: 3062
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
Something similar.....Maya Angelou once said this about someone gossiping about you...

"you aren't in it."
What? They are talking about me....

"but you aren't in it".......

It's about the other person, their thoughts, resentments, hostilities, struggles for admiration, their negative aspects of self.

It's not about you!
There's a classic saying in AA:

"What other people think of me is really none of my business."
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Old 03-16-2019, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,751 posts, read 10,778,845 times
Reputation: 16590
It's unclear how this discussion simply continues on as though "let it go" (and go hum one's mantra) is a viable response to every situation in life.

"Let it go" works if one is feeling a little offended by hurtful words -- or if one gets cut-off in traffic. But, there are a host of other situations that will leave one's family living in the bushes or worse if a universal "let it go" attitude toward life is adopted.

Is it possible for the OP to clarify this a bit ... or does that fit into the "let it go" category?
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Old 03-16-2019, 05:40 PM
 
483 posts, read 487,882 times
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We can not control situations but we can control how we handle them. I don't dwell on things that bother me that can not be resolved. Just keep living life the best way you know how.
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Old 03-16-2019, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
26,850 posts, read 5,749,057 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rogue.red View Post
The observing I've done and for some things it works but the bending... it can be problematic.

The Buddhist philosophy is interesting and there's a lot of good in it but I don't believe that happiness can be found by avoiding pain. Pain is essential for the development of empathy but more than that it is a measure of our capacity for love. Storm clouds are swollen with what the sun lifted up and to avoid storms we must also deny ourselves the sun.


I didn't say anything about Buddhist philosophy.

And I agree pain is essential for empathy, depth of love.

What works for me isn't a particular dogma.
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Old 03-16-2019, 07:07 PM
 
11,035 posts, read 8,454,468 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I agree with this. But some things cannot be resolved. It then must becone an act of will, or a decision, to let it go.
Accepting what we can and cannot change, what we can or cannot control is resolution. That allows us to let go.
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Old 03-16-2019, 07:19 PM
 
Location: New Zealand
129 posts, read 33,630 times
Reputation: 274
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
I didn't say anything about Buddhist philosophy.

And I agree pain is essential for empathy, depth of love.

What works for me isn't a particular dogma.
My apologies. When you said "I do it" I assumed you were responding to my question "Buddhist philosophy?"
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Southern California
23,213 posts, read 8,056,209 times
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There is a lot we can "let go" and continue to work on easing off "holding on" to something that does us no value. My daughter keeps telling me to let go of the botched hip replacement I live with and if only, it's changed my life in ways I never expected and I really really work on not talking about it going on 9 yrs later but it's always with me, bringing me down. There is so much others will never "get"....
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:50 PM
 
11,035 posts, read 8,454,468 times
Reputation: 27760
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
There is a lot we can "let go" and continue to work on easing off "holding on" to something that does us no value. My daughter keeps telling me to let go of the botched hip replacement I live with and if only, it's changed my life in ways I never expected and I really really work on not talking about it going on 9 yrs later but it's always with me, bringing me down. There is so much others will never "get"....
In your case, it's not about "getting over it." It's more about letting go of the anger and bitterness that is hurting YOU and keeps you in a state of mistrust. Rolling it around constantly in your mind only effects you. You can't correct the past or hurt the doctor by obsessing over it everyday.
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Old 03-16-2019, 11:13 PM
 
15,148 posts, read 19,672,957 times
Reputation: 21303
Quote:
Originally Posted by charlygal View Post
In your case, it's not about "getting over it." It's more about letting go of the anger and bitterness that is hurting YOU and keeps you in a state of mistrust. Rolling it around constantly in your mind only effects you. You can't correct the past or hurt the doctor by obsessing over it everyday.

Amen. And if her daughter "keeps telling" her to "get over it" it's an indication that she's complaining about it constantly. That's not healthy for any relationship.
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