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I mean in the grand scheme of things we're all pretty useless, but we're designed to live for a certain amount of time. It's pointless to kill yourself as you're gaurenteed to die anyway. I say come to grips with reality, and just live because why not?
I work hard and long hours and make good money. I live in a great house and have all the toys a guy could ever want. But, I find myself feeling like I am useless. I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life. Kill myself working and have nobody to share the fruits of my labor with. Anyone else feel this way? How do you get past it?
Been there and done that. The way you get past it is to take one day at a time. Find one positive thing in every day, and yes, there are many positives in all of our lives if we will look beyond our circumstances. How about you devote your time and resources to taking care of YOU?
Divorce will only define you when you permit it to do so. You’ve got the rest of your life in front of you, and I learned I had to stop looking in my rear view mirror to see that.
I work hard and long hours and make good money. I live in a great house and have all the toys a guy could ever want. But, I find myself feeling like I am useless. I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life. Kill myself working and have nobody to share the fruits of my labor with. Anyone else feel this way? How do you get past it?
I read a book many years ago aimed at single women. It warned against wasting time with men who are players. Those guys who go from woman to woman, and take everything they can, then move on, without caring for the women as people. It gaves insight about how to spot a man who is real, who is looking for a relationship...even if it may not be you. Your comments are almost exactly what he said to look for. When a man says, "I'm successful. My life is good. But I don't know...something's missing. I don't seem to have a purpose." That man needs and wants a relationship or to get married.
So there is your answer. You are a man who needs and wants love. You are ready. Think of it as your life being in black and white right now. Enter love, and a wash of bright color flows throughout your life.
Many years ago, I was thinking too much about the meaning of life and the hardship of life.
Even now, sometimes I still think and think and think life is meaningless. Why do people have to be born to this world, grow up, work hard, suffer, get old, to turn back like baby’s stage (poop and pee without knowing they are doing that and to be stupid) and get sick and die? It’s really meaningless. And, therefore, I think people are really stupid, like to f so much to create babies (another beings) to this world, and they have to deal with raising them, to tolerate them, or throw them to garbage or abandon them. WTF. It's all about people like to f so much or f up. That's the problem. And that's why life is hard and meaningless.
Yeah, many people may say I'm crazy because if people don't f, then the world will be without people. Yeah, that's true; but it's just too much. Mostly when people are not too close to each other, things are okay. And then when people begin to be close to each other, live with each other, and engage into confiding and intimacy and have sex (or the other real word is f*ck) then there begins problems: people get to know more about each other, all the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly things. And most people just tend to notice and pick on more about the bad and the ugly from others than the good and the beautiful. And they don't notice or admit about their own sh*t. That's why people hate and fight with each other so much.
Yeah, many people may say I may be depressed and need to see a counselor. The truth is lots of the counselors who counsel people, but they are in big messes too. For instances, lots of marriage counselors were divorced or in the process of divorce. Lots of counselors counsel people about how to improve their life, but their own life is in a big mess too, and when they go home, they have to use booze and drugs to numb themselves and forget about all the people’s complaints, struggles and all the sh*t in their clients’ life. And the professionals (doctors, psychiatrist, etc., ... ) just give you medications (drugs) to hallucinate you or numb you up. I don’t believe and don’t want to take or rely so much on medications because they have side effects.
But one time I read somewhere, someone said this: “Life, its own, is actually very simple. If it’s complicated, it is because people make it that way.” And someone else said this: “The meaning of life is life itself. You don’t have to think too much. Just live one day at a time. Do what you can do, and do your best. That’s how you make your life meaningful.” Afterwards, I thought: “That’s right.” And now I don’t want to over think. I learn to live one day at a time, moment by moment and try to be mindful. I think the purpose of life for myself is, maybe I didn’t want to be born to this world, but here I am, I just have to do what I need/want to do, within my thoughts and my abilities, what is right and good for me and help others a little bit, if they need, when I can.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 04-19-2019 at 09:51 AM..
I'm sure others have suggested this but divorce is akin to a death. Grieving is normal but there are counselors out there who can help you get on the right emotional track for you.
For some, the mere act of living isn't satisfying enough to justify the effort. Thus, the need for a purpose.
Not everyone is grateful to just be alive, and those who are can be quite annoying when they assume everyone else should be as well.
For some, the mere act of living isn't satisfying enough to justify the effort. Thus, the need for a purpose.
Not everyone is grateful to just be alive, and those who are can be quite annoying when they assume everyone else should be as well.
I wasn't talking about merely living (which is just surviving) and being grateful just to be alive. I meant that while people should still plan for the future, they shouldn't feel like they have to leave a lasting legacy behind them. The pressure of needing a purpose to life is a lot like the pressure to succeed at a job or the pressure to have kids as soon as you're married. That's what's annoying.
If people think living without a purpose isn't worth the effort of living, I'd say their priorities were screwed up. There's always going to be effort in living, often with no positive payback. That's a given and not negotiable. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be and the more grateful for any pleasures you receive. But we're the ones who make the judgment on what that effort is worth. So why not just accept that living will require a certain amount of effort for what it is and go on from there? Trust me, if your purpose in life is to make living easy, you probably won't succeed.
Personally, I don't feel like I was put here for any purpose. I just am. The gods don't always drop you on the planet with a specific reason. It's up to me to decide how to live my life. I could have chosen an action or a philosophy. I decided to pick something I could actually do. I want to live my life being kind to other people (if possible). Believe me, it's a struggle on this forum sometimes.
But it's something I can apply every day to every one I meet. And maybe by being nice to someone who's having a bad day, I can make their day better by smiling at them. Little things count, you know. We can't all be Jesus Christ out trying to save the world, which is what I suspect all of us here think we're placed on this Earth to do. No wonder we get disappointed when we feel we don't measure up.
I wasn't talking about merely living (which is just surviving) and being grateful just to be alive. I meant that while people should still plan for the future, they shouldn't feel like they have to leave a lasting legacy behind them. The pressure of needing a purpose to life is a lot like the pressure to succeed at a job or the pressure to have kids as soon as you're married. That's what's annoying.
If people think living without a purpose isn't worth the effort of living, I'd say their priorities were screwed up. There's always going to be effort in living, often with no positive payback. That's a given and not negotiable. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be and the more grateful for any pleasures you receive. But we're the ones who make the judgment on what that effort is worth. So why not just accept that living will require a certain amount of effort for what it is and go on from there? Trust me, if your purpose in life is to make living easy, you probably won't succeed.
Personally, I don't feel like I was put here for any purpose. I just am. The gods don't always drop you on the planet with a specific reason. It's up to me to decide how to live my life. I could have chosen an action or a philosophy. I decided to pick something I could actually do. I want to live my life being kind to other people (if possible). Believe me, it's a struggle on this forum sometimes.
But it's something I can apply every day to every one I meet. And maybe by being nice to someone who's having a bad day, I can make their day better by smiling at them. Little things count, you know. We can't all be Jesus Christ out trying to save the world, which is what I suspect all of us here think we're placed on this Earth to do. No wonder we get disappointed when we feel we don't measure up.
You shouldn't speak for anybody but yourself. And don't underestimate "just surviving", for some it's a great effort to keep going.
I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life.
They got therapists for that.
It's an actual condition, and it is harmful to you. A therapist can help you understand why you are that way, and help you change.
Depending upon how hard you're willing to work, you can be fixed in 6 months or maybe 6 years (if you're not willing to work hard).
You probably don't realize it, but you got married to be a care-taker, and that is not a reason to marry, and ultimately the reason why your marriage failed. If you want another failed marriage, go back out there and find someone else to take care of.
Once you make the changes you need to make, you'll realize you really do have a lot to offer the world and then you'll have a purpose in life and you will feel much better about yourself and perhaps accomplish some truly great things.
It's an actual condition, and it is harmful to you. A therapist can help you understand why you are that way, and help you change.
Depending upon how hard you're willing to work, you can be fixed in 6 months or maybe 6 years (if you're not willing to work hard).
You probably don't realize it, but you got married to be a care-taker, and that is not a reason to marry, and ultimately the reason why your marriage failed. If you want another failed marriage, go back out there and find someone else to take care of.
Once you make the changes you need to make, you'll realize you really do have a lot to offer the world and then you'll have a purpose in life and you will feel much better about yourself and perhaps accomplish some truly great things.
A therapist by trade gives you a bill of goods. There are no guarantees. The best things in life are free. Hard work is not required. Effort is overrated. The real purpose of therapy is to make the patient feel like a valued member of society.
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