Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I work hard and long hours and make good money. I live in a great house and have all the toys a guy could ever want. But, I find myself feeling like I am useless. I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life. Kill myself working and have nobody to share the fruits of my labor with. Anyone else feel this way? How do you get past it?
I work hard and long hours and make good money. I live in a great house and have all the toys a guy could ever want. But, I find myself feeling like I am useless. I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life. Kill myself working and have nobody to share the fruits of my labor with. Anyone else feel this way? How do you get past it?
I don't know if I've said this to you before, but reading some of your history and this post in particular you really seem depressed. I don't say that to demean you in anyway. Depression can happen to anyone, and it's pretty common in middle aged people.
I think you should talk to a counselor. If you've tried that and it didn't seem to work, try again and give it some time. I wish you luck.
OP, this sounds more like the emotional after-effects of divorce, than an existential question. Apparently you've only been questioning life's purpose since the divorce, or since the marriage got rocky, or something? If you felt satisfaction from taking care of someone before (did you have kids?), look for some charitable work to do in the community. Service to others can provide a wonderful sense of purpose. If you find a group to do this with--a charitable org., business group, college alum group, or whatever, you may make new friends, who can serve as reinforcement for those values.
If you're still feeling distressed from the divorce, you can get some counseling wo work that out. Grief counseling can help, if you find a good counselor. You've gone through a major life change; it's not unusual to have trouble processing all the emotions and adjusting to the new reality. It's ok to get a boost from a professional.
I agree with the advice from Ruth and Homina. I've been where you are. Heck, except for my divorce being farther in the past, I'm in pretty much the same boat as you. I did divorce counseling, a Men's group (I'd recommend finding one), church, therapy, etc. A good therapist you connect with who also helps you and challenges you can be very hard to find, but worth the effort. The other thing is exercise. Get out of the house and hike or go to the gym. If you are clinically depressed, you'll need medication, but it depends on how deep the depression is. The other things might work. I'd try them all (and have).
I'm certainly not fulfilled in my own life, but a long way from where I was immediately following my divorce.
One day at a time. I kind of threw myself into work and activities after a big split. It takes time. I was surprised at the reaction I had on meeting, and then dating, another lady after a while. I thought those feelings were dead in me.
we all have a gift....no matter the storms of the past...we can set fresh new goals for the future...
we can be who we want to be if we let the anchors go …
being grateful is a virtue..... I wake every morning and say out loud 5 things im grateful of....this sets the tone for the day ..
also we have to learn to filter...filter the external and internal crap....stop watching the news.. stop talking politics.....stay away from soul sucking people... and that little voice we all have ….change it from being dismissive to being curious..
appreciate what you have...
do some hobbies.....go to a golf course.....go fishing....join a gym...
get back to dating...
we are our own puppet masters ...we control our destiny...
learn that being humble is wisdom and that arrogance is weakness....
look thru the windshield of life.....to a bright future...not in the rearview mirror.....in the clouds
I work hard and long hours and make good money. I live in a great house and have all the toys a guy could ever want. But, I find myself feeling like I am useless. I have always had someone to take care of and after my divorce I just feel like there is no purpose in my life. Kill myself working and have nobody to share the fruits of my labor with. Anyone else feel this way? How do you get past it?
I have a ton of clients who feel this way. It is often, for them, a depressive symptom that is correlated to degree of isolation. Might this be something that applies in your case? And if so, what are reasonable, doable steps you could take to change that?
How long ago was your divorce?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
