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Old 05-13-2019, 03:25 PM
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
4,320 posts, read 4,232,954 times
Reputation: 5150


Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I read A New Earth probably 3 times now, I'm probably overdue to read it again.

The first read I didn't get a word. The subsequent readings things sunk in more. I still have to chose and force myself to be present more.

It's consistently one of the harder things for me. My whole life I've lived in my head. It's a hard habit to get out of for sure.

How happy am I as the OP asks? I don't know. I know I've changed jobs and have less stress now. That has helped. I define happiness as those people that are just bouncing off the walls happy. Taking them on face value they seem overly happy in some ways. LOL.

Feeling content and not restless is what I'm shooting for and if that happens I'll be "happy"

I have a New Earth and have started it but never finished it. He's so out there to me. One thing that helps a little is meditation. I've started listening to the 10% happier podcast (and read the outstanding book) and that helps. Dan Harris thought Eckhart (who he interviews) was too out there, but still respects him. I'll try it again.
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Old 05-13-2019, 03:28 PM
Location: So Cal
40,117 posts, read 39,658,922 times
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Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
I have a New Earth and have started it but never finished it. He's so out there to me. One thing that helps a little is meditation. I've started listening to the 10% happier podcast (and read the outstanding book) and that helps. Dan Harris thought Eckhart (who he interviews) was too out there, but still respects him. I'll try it again.
Yeah, the third read I got what he was saying. Tolle is for sure talking about subjects in a manner that can lose people.

I'm not the brightest bulb going but I was able to get through it. Had a few "light bulb" moments reading his stuff.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:23 PM
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
26,661 posts, read 5,640,599 times
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Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
I went on a trip to Madagascar and traveled around fairly remote villages. In the face of really dire poverty I saw a lot of happy folks. Gracious, excited to meet you, insatiably curious about our homes and families, generous and kind. They may not have owned more than two shirts or treated water but they had a lot of joy. Maybe it was just for the moments they spent watching clearly insane foreigners allow chameleons to creep up and down their arms. They either laughed out loud or backed away in horror. One of their facts of life was that you didn't mess with chameleons at all. Maybe we gave them something strange to talk about for a week. It was a huge lesson.

I get it....have seen those types as well, say in Tobago. Smiling, friendly, happy at their local market...with little personal belongings, shacks for homes etc. Taking us to their favorite restaurant, splitting coconuts for us to drink from...
but asking nothing in return. Just joy of life. There is certainly a lesson there.

It's said the remote Bhutan is the happiest country in the world...that is actually their tradition, always smiling, pleasant etc. Content. I'd love to visit there...they have a lot of celebrations too. Would love Madagascar I'm sure...nature-wise I'd be in heaven.

...we were discussing those of us first worlders who sit around thinking about whether we are happy...

The folks of Madagascar and Tobago are likely just genuinely content and happy, doubtful they stop to CONSIDER if they are happy or not.

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Old 05-13-2019, 07:29 PM
17,440 posts, read 3,940,538 times
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I rate my happiness level at a 7.
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Old 05-13-2019, 08:25 PM
13,664 posts, read 13,439,491 times
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I am ridiculously happy. It scares me, because I wonder what I will do if it all collapses. Career is going well, and I actually enjoy what I do. Wonderful people fill my life. The worst of my anxiety and depression is under control. I have a decent house. I have lovely pets. I enjoy my hobbies and can afford to indulge in them.

But even if most of that falls apart, I still have the people who love me. I just spent a week in my hometown and was being love-bombed from all directions by family and friends. I have many ambitions, but I think when I die, no matter what else I've done, my greatest accomplishment will be the relationships I managed to build during my life. I had a very lonely childhood, but I have not felt lonely in many years.

Honestly, the only thing that upsets me is the fact that there are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.
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Old 05-13-2019, 09:36 PM
6,168 posts, read 3,494,663 times
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I haven't heard anyone quote it so maybe it bears repeating. What is one person's cliché is fresh material to a new generation:

"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." — Henry David Thoreau , (1817 - 1862) American Transcendentalist Author
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Old 05-13-2019, 10:16 PM
Location: Riding a rock floating through space
1,829 posts, read 519,751 times
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Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Ive felt like **** inside for my whole life. To me life has always been something to endure, sort of how can we get through this with the least amount of pain....

It has been that way in some form or another and in varying degrees for my whole life. I've always felt like this nightmare was similar to like being a paid goon for the mafia, that it was all going to catch up to me to me at some point to really put me in my place and do it well.

I've actually been lucky in life. I've done well, I've been liked well enough. Women have always liked me....... I'm a well liked guy. I don't know why. I feel like in some.ways I've had the most easy life. This further pushes me into thinking I'm a douchbag. I was considered good looking when I was younger and in some ways that can add to making life easier.

I don't know...... I'm turning 50 this year and in some ways I'm owning my crap and feeling a bit better.

I still sometimes feel life is something that I have to endure........ but as they say life is a journey, not a destination.

Lol, god I hate those cliches........
Hey, we never asked to be here in the first place, so try not to feel guilty about not being all you can be.
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:06 AM
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,549 posts, read 18,737,754 times
Reputation: 8386
You can choose to just be happy, you know. No need to have any particular reason, just choose happy.

Saves ever so much work, too! No need to go to the effort of "if I just had/did X,Y or Z, then I'd be happy". Nope, no need for all that, just choose to be happy.

First off, take the corners of your mouth and curl them up. There! See! Happier already!
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Old 05-14-2019, 03:55 AM
Location: Arvada, CO
13,213 posts, read 24,264,196 times
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Originally Posted by Good4Nothin View Post
Can you rate your overall happiness, honestly?
I think what keeps me going is the belief that I'll get that good feeling I'm looking for again someday.

And unfortunately, I'm not actively seeking it out. I'm just waiting for things to happen, cards to fall, etc., I don't necessarily want to be the direct cause of reaching a better disposition. And I don't know why not.

I want to be excited, but that ability seems to have left.
I want to be free from worry, but I've allowed things to complicate around me.

The happiest times in my life were the carefree times during childhood, being a young adult with all the hopes for the future/exploring the world/finding love/etc, and one brief little period ten years ago as an adult.

Money means nothing to my personal happiness. I've been happier with far less than what I've had for the last several years.

I've never been truly successful in love. The ones that felt right left; and while I love my wife, it hasn't felt how I believe it should for several years, and that feels like it's coming to a head.

I don't think anybody sees me as a failure, if anything, I'm seen as an unexpected success. If they only knew how I felt inside, and what nothing I'm doing when they're not around.

I have all the time in the world, and I think that's a curse more than it's a blessing. Even still, I somehow still don't make nearly enough time for my 8 year old son, even though I feel that he's my crowning achievement.

I've felt like literal crap for the last 4 years. I'm always tired, I get physically tired easily, I have no motivation, I'm always bored, I have no desire to really do anything, I make no plans, I never really go and do anything on my own accord, but somehow I still get an adequate amount of stuff done, but intellectually, emotionally, and physically, I'm not really going anywhere.

Yes, I've seen a doctor for the crap-feeling. Their directions have only helped a little. I'm in therapy, and have been for most of the last two years (I was "cured" 6 months ago, only went back because of wife drama, and really don't think I really need to be in there in spite of everything I just typed above (lol?)).

tl;dr, it's mostly circumstantial, I'm not living the life I want, but I'm in my own darn way in trying to fix it. I want to learn how to smile and feel good, and for some reason I just expect it to fall in my lap some day.
Moderator for Los Angeles, The Inland Empire, and the Washington state forums.
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Old 05-14-2019, 04:25 AM
18,254 posts, read 23,353,604 times
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we make judgements by comparisons...

we appreciate a calm dawn 100x more if we've been thru a violent storm..during the night

one poster stated he came from humble beginnings.....and this is so very important..
do we appreciate more if we have less? or are we angry/jealous at those that have more??

I came from humble beginnings.... started paying rent at 18 while still in high school....I worked in a slaughterhouse and on a commercial fishing boat.... very hard labor jobs..sometimes sleeping in my old car .... but it was very humbling... I chose to work on the weekends....and not join my friends partying throwing away hard earned monies on beer and weed..
I earned what I had ...maybe that's pride...but also its confidence in saying I can do it.
eventually I got a foot in the door ..in a corporation and worked my way up to a supervisor … but ive always appreciated the self-determined hard workers and ive always given single mothers .. a break ..a foot in the door a management opportunity..

appreciation....gratefulness.... is half of so called happiness .. being humble...not complaining not being selfish...not self-pity … all contributors … also filtering out the negatives...stop watching the news...stay away from toxic soul-sucking dramatic people... stop talking politics....winds people up with little accomplishment... you need peacefulness in your life ..allow this

I guess what im trying to say ….is "happiness" is like most of life ….is in layers...and its mostly contentment.... but one odd dynamic.. I have found is... when you go out of your way to help someone ….it also brightens your day … you made a difference... and its self-less "you didn't have to do it"
random acts of kindness..... is one of the best therapies... and its free
the deeds you do for others are mirrored to yourself.....
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