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How(If it has at all) has being sexually abused as a child affected you even as an adult? What are some of the things/ traits that you’re pretty sure is a result of what happened to you as a child? And how has it affected you in relationships/friendships?
It never leaves you, it is always there "hiding" in the core of your being, the innermost recesses of your mind. Sometimes there are "triggers" which will bring it to the "surface" of one's consciousness and in the end, it colors who you were and who you will become as a human being.
"Back in the day" when I and my siblings were young these things (to my knowledge) weren't discussed as they are today due to all the scandals which have taken place in the past and exposed. It certainly occurred however and sometimes it was discovered by a parent much later after the episode (s) took place. In some instances when police were called they were advised that nobody would believe a child "that young" and to put it "behind" you. I see that advice as being an insult, as if a child could fathom to "make up" such lurid "stories" and details to begin with.
On the bright side, when you have children of your own you teach them as early as you think they will understand the difference between a "good touch" and a "bad touch". The education to such matters today have an appropriate public platform which reaches out through community activism and public service participation. Unfortunately it still happens but at least it is not ignored or being "swept under the rug" anymore.
OP, you're asking how the effect manifests in adulthood. That depends to some extent on what age the child was, when the molestation occurred. But trauma tends to cause a domino effect, if left untreated, which most childhood trauma was (untreated). If it occurs early enough in life, it can not only arrest the child's emotional development in some ways, it can hold them back intellectually, scholastically, as well. It affects brain development.
Unresolved trauma, often characterized as unresolved PTSD, also tends to cause other mental illnesses in adulthood. In some cases, this can hinder a person's ability to support themselves, if, for example, they're not able to get along with others, or always find fault with whatever job they're in, etc. But it can cause lifelong depression, which may or may not be severe enough to hinder employment. It can also cause a personality disorder to develop, like narcissism, or Borderline Personality Disorder, or even schizophrenia. It can cause sex addiction, or the opposite; avoidance of relationships, bonding issues, or recurring poor choices in partners. The depression, or alternatively, recurring anxiety, can result in self-medication via substance abuse or overeating. Low self-esteem (whether at the root of narcissism, or on its own) can also cause that self-medication.
It's a memory that never fades.
There was a period between 11-12 for me where I couldn't figure out why this was happening to me.
I felt guilty. What was so special about me .
(A stranger handy man hired to do a few things around the house and my parents family male friend)
Mistrust of men. Overprotective of my daughter now.
Not feeling worthy of praise even though I damn well deserve it. I don't like the attention.
OP why do you inquire?
I was the victim of "nontraditional" molestation on two occasions. In both cases, I repressed the memories until they came roaring back. These experiences seriously undermined my confidence and my perceptions of reality. I can sometimes dissociate. I don't trust people with the ugly bits of myself, even though my friends would describe me as a very open person.
I decided it was too complex to answer without giving away too much info. I can say that I thought I was free of it’s legacy but it has a weird way of popping up when least expected. I had somatic memories for years but at the time didn’t know that they were part of ptsd,nor did I feel able to describe them to a doctor without having the humiliation of explaining the years of abuse. Like Ruth said how it manifests itself ,impacts you depends on a lot of variables,including your personality traits and support or lack thereof.
How(If it has at all) has being sexually abused as a child affected you even as an adult? What are some of the things/ traits that you’re pretty sure is a result of what happened to you as a child? And how has it affected you in relationships/friendships?
It's too bad (and telling )you never came back to this thread JBT.
My wife was...by her step dad
the girl I dated before her...neighbor
the girl before the last...her older cousin
the girl before her...her step day
either I'm a magnet or this happens a LOT more than we realize
similarities
they were all teens, and some were already sexually active when it happened
they all felt guilt over enjoying it at times...and for not telling or waiting too long to tell
they all had varying degrees of issues with men and sex...flashbacks...one wanted me to pretend to rape her or she couldn't get off...one refused to let me go down on her because that's what her step dad did, she finally got over it...
I think this happens way more than we realize...
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