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Old 05-28-2019, 02:06 PM
 
11 posts, read 2,046 times
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this guy im talking to has commitment issues. We have very strong sexual and mental connection, but he puts up walls once we get closer to the emotional side? Why is that? What questions can i ask to understand him?
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Old 05-28-2019, 05:59 PM
 
959 posts, read 361,695 times
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He's not available. There is nothing you can do to fix him. Save yourself the time and the headache and choose better.
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Old 05-28-2019, 06:18 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
2,254 posts, read 504,513 times
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If you know he has commitment issues (and you are looking for commitment), clearly the two of you are not on the same page to move forward. Rather than trying to ‘understand why’ (knowing why won’t change anything if he has already expressed he is not looking for - or is afraid of - commitment), you need to accept he is not in the same place as you are, and move forward in a different direction on your own. Look for someone who is more compatible with you (who is seeking commitment as you are).

Last edited by CorporateCowboy; 05-28-2019 at 07:30 PM..
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Old 05-28-2019, 06:41 PM
 
18,347 posts, read 23,515,236 times
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is he married??
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Old 05-28-2019, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,191 posts, read 41,793,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpxoxaqua View Post
this guy im talking to has commitment issues. We have very strong sexual and mental connection, but he puts up walls once we get closer to the emotional side? Why is that? What questions can i ask to understand him?
Because he enjoys the sex without having to do all the stuff a committed relationship requires. He can walk away any time and get sex from another woman.

What question can you ask to understand him? Start with, "So ... What are we?"
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Old 05-28-2019, 07:15 PM
 
3,542 posts, read 1,355,757 times
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"What questions can i ask to understand him?"
three ideas:
1. may i have your password to your phone?
2. may i hold your phone and enter your password?
3. may i scroll through everything saved on your phone?
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Old 05-28-2019, 08:28 PM
 
3,062 posts, read 1,563,443 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpxoxaqua View Post
this guy im talking to has commitment issues. We have very strong sexual and mental connection, but he puts up walls once we get closer to the emotional side? Why is that? What questions can i ask to understand him?
What matters most is for you to understand yourself. How do you feel about his behavior?
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:32 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston
37,967 posts, read 55,724,604 times
Reputation: 89645
Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpxoxaqua View Post
this guy im talking to has commitment issues. We have very strong sexual and mental connection, but he puts up walls once we get closer to the emotional side? Why is that? What questions can i ask to understand him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpxoxaqua View Post
I met this guy and I was completely aware that the odds of us establishing an acutaul committed relationship was very unlikely, but i thought what the heck, why not just have some fun… and the fun turned into me getting all butt hurt. he was comlpetely honest with me. Im 28 and should have began my stability in my life and its complete chaos. just nothing is giong right for me.
^^^ From other thread.


Another thread about this guy? Why are you clinging to, analyzing and try to understand a guy who clearly said that he doesn't want a relationship with you? Your sex and talk service - yes (what else you do for him? cook? clean? shop?) but get married - no!
What for? He already has all that without a legal commitment.
Find yourself someone who actually wants you for more than that...
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Old 05-28-2019, 10:47 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,848 posts, read 14,356,798 times
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Ask him where he sees himself in five years.

But I agree with a previous poster: he is not available, at least to you.
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Old 05-29-2019, 06:08 AM
 
6,302 posts, read 3,569,825 times
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A simple test to understand him: Stop having sex with him and see if you still have the strong mental connection.
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