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Often, they aren't allowed to contribute in undeveloped countries. They may lack schooling and education. They may be thought of as inferior. Lots of reasons.
As for in the USA, I don't know. It perplexes me. I am a woman, and I tend to be accidentally judgy of women who do not work.
”judgy” or envious to some extent?
I know quite a few families where the situation is reversed: man is “ the kept” one and women are breadwinners: the range is from a woman working in IT( huge money) to one of a friendly long time waitress- and I know that she is not that flash!
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Sure, some women are mooches...and there are a lot of men mooching off women who are just as stupid to allow it.
Obviously, "mooching" has to be defined - merely not working outside the home may not qualify if the person is doing meaningful work inside the home and both have agreed to this division of labor. But it is generally frowned upon for people to just do NOTHING with their time - even the rich tend to make some show of doing charitable acts.
And... some people are busy bodies worrying about who is "mooching" in a relationship that does not affect them. I used to work part time when I was married because I was helping to raise my stepson at the time.... now I am divorced, work full time & completely support myself. But if I decided to work part time again because of a relationship or because of charitable work or anything else, why would that cause you to frown? Why is it your business to define someone else's life for them?
I think even without kids women get more of a pass. I certainly saw this in the dating world during the recession when I was unemployed. Its viewed way differently than a woman being unemployed. There's not much stigma with women being out of work like there is for men.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
I think even without kids women get more of a pass. I certainly saw this in the dating world during the recession when I was unemployed. Its viewed way differently than a woman being unemployed. There's not much stigma with women being out of work like there is for men.
People are equal opportunity judgers. I voluntarily worked PT when I was married to help raise a child who wasn't even mine biologically...& I was judged for it all the time. I talked in another thread about cutting back my hours just a little ...32 from 40... & people lost their minds. That's not even "unemployed".
Again, I don't think that the OP was talking about a functional married couple who's made an economic decision in good faith. He's talking about some hypothetical gold digger who who expects to be treated like a princess while her man slaves away to support her. It's a story about a boogeyman that sad sacks from dark corners of reddit like to scare each other with.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
Again, I don't think that the OP was talking about a functional married couple who's made an economic decision in good faith. He's talking about some hypothetical gold digger who who expects to be treated like a princess while her man slaves away to support her. It's a story about a boogeyman that sad sacks from dark corners of reddit like to scare each other with.
So what if a man wants to support a woman? There are so many really big problems in the world.......domestic & child abuse, homelessness, world hunger, victims of sexual assault that all seem lots more *important* than caring about a nameless gold digger who has to rely on a man to support herself.
I'm talking about the common practice of giving females a pass with the expectancy of paing a share of living expenses.. Men don't typically go shopping while the females go to work to pay 100% of the living expenses..
I take it from the instant-defensive you both knew exactly what I was asking.. Can we turn the PC switch off?
I've worked since I was 18. There were 5 years that I was a stay at home mom, but otherwise...what Mod cut. are you talking about?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-20-2019 at 07:32 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
I mean, just today I went shopping while my wife was at work.
That was my husband yesterday!
The OP is using a lot of phrases like "common practice" and "there is pressure" and "given a pass" and whatnot. From whom? To whom? Other than in his own mind...
The only segment of American society where I've seen a lot of unemployed wives, was the military. Mostly because the military has a way of:
- Making it more beneficial to be married when in terms of maturity and relationship stage, it'd be more sensible to be just bf/gf.
- Dragging the wife across the country or the ocean to a new place, so if she had a job, she doesn't have one now.
- Paying the soldier (free housing, etc) in such a way and referring to the wife as a "dependent."
- Very strongly encouraging the wife to participate in a time consuming mess of military culture activity
...etc. Many of the military wives were referred to as "dependopotamuses." Not nice but...there is it.
There were reasons I refused to have us live on post, and wanted nothing to do with the family groups and suchlike, when I was an Army wife. I had my own career and my own life, and I'm not cast adrift anywhere I go.
I have no idea what people are doing in Europe. But aside from the American military wife scene I don't know of any other group of Americans where the wife isn't expected to put in at least as much work as the husband...unless he asks it of her, in the rare occasions that it's a sop to his ego to have a "kept woman" at home.
Most guys who insist that they don't want the wives to work, are doing so because they want power over the wife. If she has no way to support herself and no resources of her own, then she can't exactly leave him, now can she? Well, and then there are the very well off men who want the wife to stay at home because they believe it is best for their children, or because they require her to function as a sort of PR person and administrative assistant. I imagine a lot of celebrity wives and politicians' wives are expected to work to keep their husbands' images pristine. But I have no dealings with people at that level of society, so what do I know?
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”judgy” or envious to some extent? 
I voluntarily worked PT when I was married to help raise a child who wasn't even mine biologically...& I was judged for it all the time. I talked in another thread about cutting back my hours just a little ...32 from 40... & people lost their minds. That's not even "unemployed". 
