Men are expected to be ‘strong silent types’ — and it’s breaking them,. (inability, college)
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Toxic masculinity, white males. Please, give this a break. You have to know nothing to not know that almost all cultures encourage strong males.
How we are perceived professionally or amongst our peers (or anywhere) often is (and should be) quite different than in the context of an intimate (committed) relationship with a woman - and in OP’s case, he is married to her.
Well to each their own, I’m not an emotional person and I am a strong, dominant one and I like it that way!
Except - the post is about a dude who is having a rough time being real (with his wife) because of perceived societal pressure/expectations. If one can’t be real in an intimate (committed) relationship with a woman, what’s the point of having a committed relationship?
Except - the post is about a dude who is having a rough time being real (with his wife) because of perceived societal pressure/expectations. If one can’t be real in an intimate (committed) relationship with a woman, what’s the point of having a committed relationship?
Again, I was just using my relationship as an example if nothing else.
Some fathers do tell their sons it’s not okay to show to much if any emotion. Mine didn’t mostly because he was never around and my mom..well that’s another story. I do have male friends who I personally can reach out to and be emotional if it comes up and I’m not judged for it by them. Nor are they judged by me. Some where along the line men are told to be strong but silent about showing to much emotion. Not sure how that came about. I’ve been in too many relationships and SOME women have been told that an over emotional man is weak. Maybe it’s a generational thing.
Usually a well rounded adult Human will maintain rational thoughts , emote in a balanced way. ( basically letting the emotion match the level of cause/effect).
Empathy and ability to work thru is key in relations.
Why would any man do that? It doesn’t make sense the stress alone is enough to kill you.
They do that because that was how they were taught to control their emotions. I am a female and I was raised the same way by females. One thing to keep in mind is that some families are more effective in teaching how to control emotions than other families. They explain it better, will adapt the lesson for children who are struggling, so what you see out in public is not really how to teach controlling emotions. You are seeing the outcome of the teaching and what you need to see is the actual teaching.
What I have found in homes where children are told to not cry, there tends to be more bully-like behaviors, where the lessons are forced on the child rather than making them adaptive.
This myth of the seemingly inalienable right to dominance and control perpetrated by men, especially by white males, has myriad catastrophic downsides.
These standards — and postures many American males contort themselves to — are not without consequence. Beyond misplaced anger, feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, the men who hold their emotions in check — like a stress position used to induce confession — sometimes break. White American males — mostly middle-age — accounted for 70% of suicides in 2017.
Has a child I was told as I grew up not to cry or show to much emotion as people/ women as a whole whole would see me as weak. My wife is having a lot of health issues and I don’t let her see how much it weighs on me. Even though she has said that it’s good for a man to show such things, I know by doing so it would make things worse on her. I know that I’m not the only man going though rough patches where showing emotions are some what taboo.
The very reason WHY you have a wife is because you don't show your emotions. Men that show emotions are deemed unattractive in all aspects of life. That is just the way it is.
I'm sorry about you wife's health issues. I hope everything gets better soon.
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