U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-02-2019, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Colorado
11,828 posts, read 7,297,740 times
Reputation: 21234

Advertisements

I mean, I see both sides of an argument here and think that there are valid points. I do think that our culture teaches men to be more overt, to the point sometimes of obnoxiousness, in pursuit of women. I know I was getting very inappropriate sexual attention, often from grown men, from about age 12. There are many things about a common female life experience, that men really do not have a serious parallel for. Like just the sheer ubiquitous nature of being treated as a sexual object...there are men who say they WISH women would do that to them, but if they really knew what it was like, they probably wouldn't. The rock stars you see in the old videos like Elvis and the Beatles probably enjoyed the screaming, grasping hordes for all of a time or two before they were like, "Yeah, security? Get me the hell out of here. These women are insane." No one truly enjoys being so thoroughly dehumanized, let alone threatened, by the desires of other people.

But at the same time, there's also a wrong dynamic where a man who legitimately has his consent violated, is taken even less seriously than women are. And where women feel entitled to behavior that we definitely don't appreciate coming from men. That isn't ok either.

I don't like to get into "My struggles invalidate your struggles" conversations. I'd really like to see everybody hearing each other and having compassion without needing to say that since they've got it worse, the other person should shut up. And at some point I think the golden rule comes into play. Model the better treatment that you'd like to receive, and condemn bad behavior wherever you see it.

But I do believe that there are situations where people behave badly out of ignorance more than malice, and that is actually good, because ignorance is a curable condition.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-02-2019, 09:49 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,423 posts, read 39,951,648 times
Reputation: 41900
It seems like the vast majority of sexual predators are men. Not sure why, This observation is very anecdotal as I don't have any stats at hand, just kind of going off of what I perceive around me.

I did have a couple of incidences growing up where female babysitters were sort of creepy. I wasn't sexually abused but they acted in ways that made me feel pretty uncomfortable, I was probably 10 or 11. One of them was quite a bit older and was pretty creepy in what she was saying to me and what I thought she was attempting to do to me. Got a very sexual predatory feeling from her and I know in the grand scheme of things it was tiny compared to the sexual abuse kids suffer but I remember it vividly and it's never left me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-02-2019, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,800 posts, read 5,474,276 times
Reputation: 8353
I have wondered forever what kind of female could seduce the young to come into the claws of the traffickers. What kind of person could do that to a person, treat them as they are nothing, condemning them to such agony for the few years left in their life.

This
https://www.interpol.int/en/How-we-w...ew-Red-Notices

is the INTERPOL list of women wanted for trafficking. Not all of them are wanted for human trafficking; some are wanted for drugs. There are probably other wanted notices of such women, such as this FBI notice of 2012: https://www.fbi.gov/audio-repository...cking.mp3/view
You see? It's there just that perhaps others don't know what to look for.

Finally, on a side note, I guess in the first decade of this century it was, a small arms instructor wanted me to get him pictures of female criminals. He pinned them to the heads of the silhouettes to train his shooters that women could be the enemy, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 08:53 AM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
17,219 posts, read 19,525,937 times
Reputation: 12961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I did have a couple of incidences growing up where female babysitters were sort of creepy. I wasn't sexually abused but they acted in ways that made me feel pretty uncomfortable, I was probably 10 or 11.
Either the babysitters were unattractive or you just needed to get a little older.

Most teenage boys PRAY that they get abused by a good-looking female "sexual predator." If only. lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 09:11 AM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,445 posts, read 3,628,914 times
Reputation: 19466
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
Esed by a good-looking female "sexual predator." If only. lol
Sorry, no they don't. It can be just as harmful and damaging for young males as it can for females. This isn't something to joke about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 09:14 AM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,445 posts, read 3,628,914 times
Reputation: 19466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I mean, I see both sides of an argument here and think that there are valid points. I do think that our culture teaches men to be more overt, to the point sometimes of obnoxiousness, in pursuit of women. I know I was getting very inappropriate sexual attention, often from grown men, from about age 12. .
Same here. I got sexually harassed a lot from my late teens through my 20s. By the time I was over 30, the perverts left me alone. Since perverts tend to go after much younger women.

I watched the TV show "To Catch a Predator" and was amazed at how many men would travel long distances to have sex with a 13 year old (decoy) in sting operations. I was both disgusted and amazed at their stupidity and inability to control their perverse sexual needs. It's scary how many men out there are willing to have sex with a 13 year old. And these were men from all walks of life; doctors, rabbis, teachers, fast food workers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,156 posts, read 41,773,101 times
Reputation: 82886
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
Either the babysitters were unattractive or you just needed to get a little older.

Most teenage boys PRAY that they get abused by a good-looking female "sexual predator." If only. lol
Thanks for this example of "the problem."

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 09:41 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,423 posts, read 39,951,648 times
Reputation: 41900
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
Either the babysitters were unattractive or you just needed to get a little older.

Most teenage boys PRAY that they get abused by a good-looking female "sexual predator." If only. lol
Not so much when you're 10. At least for me. Girls were still icky then. The one woman/girl was probably 19 or 20 looking back and she felt like a much older adult, at least to my little kid brain anyways.

Anyway, she was out of line to be acting creepy and being very sexually suggestive to the point of making me feel uncomfortable, especially with a boy that old.

Frankly it was gross on her part. She probably had some sexual abuse issues herself, as seems to be the pattern from what I've heard.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,761 posts, read 7,693,193 times
Reputation: 14963
Men are more sexually driven by their hormones. Unfortunately, peoples natural inclination toward evil means that drive manifests itself in evil action.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-03-2019, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Texas Hill Country
9,800 posts, read 5,474,276 times
Reputation: 8353
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Same here. I got sexually harassed a lot from my late teens through my 20s. By the time I was over 30, the perverts left me alone. Since perverts tend to go after much younger women.

I watched the TV show "To Catch a Predator" and was amazed at how many men would travel long distances to have sex with a 13 year old (decoy) in sting operations. I was both disgusted and amazed at their stupidity and inability to control their perverse sexual needs. It's scary how many men out there are willing to have sex with a 13 year old. And these were men from all walks of life; doctors, rabbis, teachers, fast food workers.

Stupid is the word. When one crosses a few county lines, they set themselves up for each DA to take a crack at them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Psychology
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top