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Old 07-09-2019, 10:42 AM
Status: "What's 100 minus 48 plus 5?" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,074 posts, read 3,165,147 times
Reputation: 14573

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Calm down ladies. The last thing our society needs right now is more anger.
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Old 07-09-2019, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Ro cha cha, NY
3,072 posts, read 4,209,228 times
Reputation: 5394
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pogue Mahone View Post
Calm down ladies. The last thing our society needs right now is more anger.


I couldn't rep you. But I agree wholeheartedly. Bitterness isn't an attractive quality for anyone, man or women. And blaming another gender for all their problems in life is just as sad and pathetic as can be. Nobody man or women is completely without fault.
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Old 07-09-2019, 06:17 PM
 
5,831 posts, read 3,271,285 times
Reputation: 13990
This is a psychology forum where psychological issues are discussed. Telling people to "calm down" or talking about attractiveness is not necessary. No one asked about whether being angry makes one attractive. It's a discussion about a valid topic that is of interest to many. If it doesn't interest you, find a different topic that does.
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Old 07-09-2019, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
5,746 posts, read 3,210,620 times
Reputation: 7205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels View Post
This is a psychology forum where psychological issues are discussed. Telling people to "calm down" or talking about attractiveness is not necessary. No one asked about whether being angry makes one attractive. It's a discussion about a valid topic that is of interest to many. If it doesn't interest you, find a different topic that does.
Bingo. This entire forum is full of men who post all kinds of very angry stuff. They're angry for all kinds of reasons. Yet I doubt either of the 2 guys above ever tell any of their fellow male posters to "calm down" or lecture them on on how "unattractive" their behavior is.
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Old 07-09-2019, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,564 posts, read 52,710,219 times
Reputation: 70864
I can't even right now.

Working for 2 decades in a male-dominated field and dealing with the insane behavioral double standards...it's...I can't...I have so many stories...omg...
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Old 07-09-2019, 09:52 PM
 
5,831 posts, read 3,271,285 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl View Post
Bingo. This entire forum is full of men who post all kinds of very angry stuff. They're angry for all kinds of reasons. Yet I doubt either of the 2 guys above ever tell any of their fellow male posters to "calm down" or lecture them on on how "unattractive" their behavior is.
Of course you're right. It's only women who need to stay calm and be attractive. I am done with that, personally. I hope that a lot of other women will join me. It's past time for it.
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Old 07-09-2019, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Middle America
36,674 posts, read 41,959,223 times
Reputation: 50568
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
I couldn't rep you. But I agree wholeheartedly. Bitterness isn't an attractive quality for anyone, man or women. And blaming another gender for all their problems in life is just as sad and pathetic as can be. Nobody man or women is completely without fault.
Experiencing anger and being bitter aren't the same thing, though.
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Old 07-10-2019, 02:06 AM
 
Location: Micronesia
3,065 posts, read 953,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
It's society and the male species that makes us crazy, pissed off, (and stressed out, anxious, etc.). I think we have a lot more to be mad about than they do, but we're just supposed to be "nice" and docile all the time and not get mad or go off on any of them, even though they deserve it. And that just makes us...you guessed it, more angry!. No wonder we tend to have more heart problems and anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal View Post
unless you're crazy; or can act like it. lol or have a baseball bat. or knife. yeah, you'd think girls aren't very scary, but you know what's most scary to guys? a crazy girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
This type of defensive dismissiveness and deliberate blind, one-sided, denial of other people's lived experiences, is what makes women feel not heard and therefore angry at men.

Thanks for illustrating the concept so effectively.

What do you consider to be "reasonable anger?" Like are you here to tell women what we are allowed to be angry about? Please, enlighten the room on what "reasonable" anger (from women) looks like, to you. I would like to know.

Ya'll remember when I said that I don't really do anger, per se? This right here. Every time a woman expresses an emotion, especially if it is possibly inconvenient to a man's utter entitlement to never be challenged in anything he says or does, there will be a guy just waiting in the woodwork somewhere to invalidate it and call it "nonsense." And, there it is. Bravo, sir.
Reasonable anger is nearly synonymous with rational anger. Which does not include; fits of rage based soley on emotion and or opinion, blaming the entirety of the opposite sex for your anger issues, or laughingly discussing assault with a deadly weapon due to said issues.

---------------

Let's try the flip side of those same quotes:

"If a man is crazy or can act like it, he wont be laughed at. lol or have a baseball bat. or knife. yeah, you'd think boys aren't very scary, but you know what's most scary to women? a crazy boy. k

It is the female species that makes men crazy, pissed off, stressed out, and anxious. I think men have a lot more to be mad about than women do, but we're just supposed to be "nice" and docile all the time and not get mad or go off on any of them, even though women deserve it. And that just makes us...you guessed it, more angry!. No wonder men tend to have more heart problems and anxiety."

That last sentence would actually be more correct that way though:
Mod cut: Copyrighted image.

Last edited by PJSaturn; Today at 07:43 PM..
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Old 07-10-2019, 05:36 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,253 posts, read 8,548,360 times
Reputation: 35688
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo302 View Post
Reasonable anger is nearly synonymous with rational anger. Which does not include; fits of rage based soley on emotion and or opinion, blaming the entirety of the opposite sex for your anger issues, or laughingly discussing assault with a deadly weapon due to said issues.

---------------

Let's try the flip side of those same quotes:

"If a man is crazy or can act like it, he wont be laughed at. lol or have a baseball bat. or knife. yeah, you'd think boys aren't very scary, but you know what's most scary to women? a crazy boy. k

It is the female species that makes men crazy, pissed off, stressed out, and anxious. I think men have a lot more to be mad about than women do, but we're just supposed to be "nice" and docile all the time and not get mad or go off on any of them, even though women deserve it. And that just makes us...you guessed it, more angry!. No wonder men tend to have more heart problems and anxiety."

That last sentence would actually be more correct that way though:
Oh so true! Now that you've conclusively determined that men have reason to be mad and have more cancer and heart disease then women have NO reason to be mad!

Doesn't have to be a contest of who is MORE to understand that women certainly have reasons to be mad all their own and are entitled to the emotion and to take action to resolve it. Not violent action, but action nonetheless.
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Old 07-10-2019, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Colorado
11,899 posts, read 7,329,822 times
Reputation: 21365
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo302 View Post
Reasonable anger is nearly synonymous with rational anger. Which does not include; fits of rage based soley on emotion and or opinion, blaming the entirety of the opposite sex for your anger issues, or laughingly discussing assault with a deadly weapon due to said issues.

---------------

Let's try the flip side of those same quotes:

"If a man is crazy or can act like it, he wont be laughed at. lol or have a baseball bat. or knife. yeah, you'd think boys aren't very scary, but you know what's most scary to women? a crazy boy. k

It is the female species that makes men crazy, pissed off, stressed out, and anxious. I think men have a lot more to be mad about than women do, but we're just supposed to be "nice" and docile all the time and not get mad or go off on any of them, even though women deserve it. And that just makes us...you guessed it, more angry!. No wonder men tend to have more heart problems and anxiety."

That last sentence would actually be more correct that way though:
I think that what women have a complaint about, is that men claim that anything that triggers their emotions is logical and rational, and anything that triggers a woman's emotions, is just silly nonsense. We've got hundreds, or thousands of years of history of being dismissed as hysterical, insane, emotional, by a society generally led by men. As for "opinions" somehow when it comes out of a man's mouth it's supposed to be accepted as a fact.

Any woman you meet could tell you 100 things she's got good cause to be angry about, as could any man. The difference is, with a man you'd say "damn right" and with a woman you'd find ways to excuse the causes, dismiss her reaction, and diminish her right to a grievance. Not only are we dealing with this more or less constantly in our lives, it's in our face in the news every day, too.

And I could not begin to tell you how many relationships I know of, where the woman has to hear the man vent about everything that makes him feel any kind of a way, but he just cannot handle being expected to LISTEN in return. He expects that in the relationship, his problems are real things that everyone needs to attend, but hers are just inconvenient noise. And people wonder why women initiate so many divorces. But hey, by all means folks, keep on making this a gender war. Not how I want to live, but your life is not my life. I'll be over here building bridges instead among the men and women I know.

But I like that you shared that graph, though. It speaks to both the fact that women are burdened with a higher degree of social obligation to emotional control, calm, and agreeableness, and men are supposed to suppress sadness, but are given more license to express rage or anger, even to the point of violence. If society gives men no space to be sad and expects them to transmute every unpleasant emotion into a properly manly violent rage, then can we be surprised when men are imploding and exploding all over the place? I don't think so.

Now taking my two points here together, I think, too that men's training to not express the range of other emotions that are more authentic to the human experience, but to express anger...so there is that judgment of sadness, insecurity, frustration, whatever, as being "weak" and therefore feminine, and feminine things are to be dismissed and invalidated, it's all tied together. It's all connected.

I do not suggest that ANYONE make a habit of indulging in a lack of self control where it comes to anger, rage, or violent acts spurred by such. No matter the cause, be it "rational" or not. Because Batman style vigilante justice isn't a thing that anyone gets to have in what is supposed to be a civilized society. But I think that if everyone, at both the individual level and the gendered level, were to consider being more respectful of the full range of emotions that other people have cause to experience, then maybe we could get somewhere.

Well. Some of us will.
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